“Sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding.”

That’s right, LDBCers. We don’t shine The Boy’s shoes no more. Not for another year, anyway. In fact, he’s the one sent home to get his shine box.

So post the details of your win (or your loss, if you haven’t already) to the reporting form, please. Then it’ll be time for the official wrap-up.

But breathe easy, and enjoy the taste of winning (or of our yearly struggle being over, at least). We’ve earned it. I mean, given the year we’ve had? Boy, have we (pun intended).

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

Curses, foiled again: Jennifer Palome Nassivera at the scene of the crime

A bit more than three weeks into this thing, people, and it’s looking like those who said it’d be easier due to sheltering-in-place may have had a point. We’re running at about 56% of the losses we had last year by this time.

But as Bruce Springsteen sang, “To the dead, it don’t matter much ’bout who’s wrong or right.” If you’re out already, it wasn’t any easier for you. Just ask poor Jennifer Palome Nassivera and her sister, pictured above. (I assume it’s your sister, Jennifer; please correct me if I’m wrong.) They just wanted the opportunity to prettify themselves. It’s a basic right. That’s what they asked for. What they got was the Evil of The Boy.

And the more I think about that, the more another song comes to mind—Howlin’ Wolf‘s “I Asked for Water (She Gave Me Gasoline).” You expect something, and you’re handed something else. A visit to the dentist’s office doesn’t result in tartar-free choppers as the chief memory. Nor does firing up that wonderful holiday playlist you found. Instead, it’s a trip to the reporting form to enter the details of your demise.

We do what we can to help, though. We’ve put together a list of Deadly Movies and TV to check before you watch. (Be aware, however, that it’s by no means comprehensive. We’ve been struggling to keep it up to date, in fact.) And your fellow LDBCers try to help, too. We’ve got two safe Spotify lists contributed by Grace McIntosh and Anna Bulthuis. “Safe” doesn’t always mean what you want it to, though. Grace was recently knocked out herself (not because of her list). And mistakes can be made by the most well-meaning among us. So double-check for yourself before playing, just in case. As I always say, ever-vigilant.

Safety is what you make of it, friends. A lack of it is what’s taken down more than 400 of your fellow fighters thus far, including Rigdzin Dorje, our First Fallen this year. But we’re just days away, so look alive, and maybe you’ll stay that way.

Meanwhile, here’s the latest helping of LDBC-elfies from our dearly departed. Learn from them. Finish strong for them. Because no matter how hard the tricksters try to tell us otherwise, we’re all in this together.

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

For Rigdzin!

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy Captured

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