LDBC on CNN (Do Not Watch During Game)

CNN_Screenshot

I repeat: do not watch this when the game is on (12:01 am Black Friday through midnight of Dec. 23) unless you and everyone within earshot are already out. It contains LDB and will kill you and everyone near you deader than dead.

OK, you’re sure the game’s not hot and there isn’t anyone around who you might take out?

Look again. Still sure?

Cool. Watch this.

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2017

LDB Statue Toppling

Down with The Boy, by Joyous James Barnett

I’ll start with an apology for the lateness of the 2017 wrap-up, faithful LDBCers. In years past, I’ve posted this by the 8th or so. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: when I launched this thing way back in 2010, it never occurred to me what might happen if it grew beyond my circle of friends, their friends, and a few random strangers. Now I know—it takes me a lot longer to crunch the numbers and read through everyone’s inspiring tales of heroism and woe. That’s not a complaint, mind you. This is a labor of love. Nevertheless, I’m a bit late. Sorry.

Rudolph: Deviation from the NormNow, putting together charts and poring through narratives of personal struggle tends to get you thinking. And, as is often the case when I toss a few more logs on the ol’ cranial bonfire, my thoughts turned to Charlton Heston. Well, not Heston specifically, but Robert Neville, the character he played in The Omega Man. Not the movie version of Neville’s struggle, but the version from Richard Matheson‘s classic book, I Am Legend. I assume you all know how that ends because it’s a favorite of elementary-school teachers and parents of small kids and is usually read to children at bedtime. Or maybe it was just my mom who had a unique sense of what should send a wee one off to Dreamland. Either way, if you don’t know, spoiler alert: Neville lives in a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles that’s overrun by vampires whom he hunts and kills during the day, while they slumber. At the end, they capture him and, as he waits to be executed, he realizes that their roles have flipped. He’s the monster who murders the innocent when they’re at their most vulnerable. The way the vampires see it, they’re the victims; he’s the villain.

Charlton Heston in The Omega Man

The Omega Man‘s Heston, Dressed to Kill

All of which led to a fundamental question. Might the same be true of us? What if The Boy is the real hero of this tale and we, in trying to stay away from him at holiday time, when all should be welcome and the lonely should be included, are the real baddies of the tale?

And then I realized: don’t be an idiot, man. The little bastard is pure, concentrated evil. If anything, we don’t hate him enough.

I mean, just look at the reasons for that hatred, friends. The justification for the anger in so many of us, we who are the prey of darkness when all we wanted was to enjoy a holiday market, support local artisans, or pick up a damned cup of hot joe. (Repeat that last phrase to yourself with your best Heston delivery. Really drives the point home, doesn’t it?)

Michael_Bublé_FartingJust think of Meg Wilkinson, struck down by a panpipe-playing agent of The Boy in OaxacaJen Gripman, harvested as she enjoyed a revue of Golden Girls Christmas episodes performed by live players in drag. And a whole host of noble LDBCers laid low by new phenomena entering the game’s universe. (There seemed to be more reports of involvement by toxic mothers-in-law, for instance—and a lot of people who were alternately taken out or saved due to broken bones.)

A fascinating thing, that last one. What some might see as a challenge in other aspects of life serves as an advantage in this one. Consider the undefeated Kathryn Hill, for instance, who had this to say in her form response:

Kathryn Hill's Form Response

This motherfucker. Boy, is it. And boy, is he. Yet when the dust clears after midnight on the morning of the 24th, here are we, and gone is He. As it should be. (Take note of the finish date, those of you whose entered losses I had to change to wins because of calendar errors.)

This Thing of Ours brings us a refreshingly different view of the world out there. Or it Little Girl Middle Fingerbrings me one, anyway. I’m a media shut-in and have been for years, going from writing about TV for a living for more than a decade to hardly ever watching shows at all. You’d think that would give me an edge, and maybe it does sometimes. But it didn’t save me or Mrs. LDBC this year.

Yet the game continues to educate, as it always does. I’d never heard of Psych until the movie version wiped out a wide swath of LDBCers like that head-cutting whirling-blade thing in Caligula. (Don’t Google that. Trust me.) And I had no idea how many folks go back and watch West Wing reruns. (Year after year, that one old episode claims a few more victims.) Nor did I realize how many otherwise perfectly sensible people didn’t know not to click on viral videos of Bing and Bowie or Grace Jones and Pee-wee. (I’ve toyed with the idea of creating a resource of shows and movies to avoid but have decided not to for the time being. This is not a game meant for padded corners and rounded scissors. Step lively or perish.)

Learning is pain, people. But it needn’t be dishonorable, which is why we dedicate each year’s game to the First Fallen among us. (For 2017, it was Joyce Dudley Hindman—for Joyce!) So no matter the letter by your name below, whether L or W, hold your head up high. The Boy has been tarred and feathered like a devilish boardwalk cone dipped in chocolate and then rolled in crushed nuts. And his withering is our joy.

Not much more to tell you, really, other than to wish you the usual good fortune and happiness for you and yours in 2018. As I’ve said many times before, the LDBC has always been a work-intensive pleasure for me because the out-and-out strangeness and stupidity of it is something I hold to be sacred. And without all of you, it’d just be me and the missus cursing as we go down in flames, surrounded by puzzled looks and a vacuum of non-existent empathy. We’ve built a community, and we rise and fall as one.

Thanks, as always, for your comments, your LDBC-elfies, your participation, and all of the myriad other ways in which you contribute.

With that, let us all stand and say: puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people. ‘Til Black Friday, when we meet again.

The Boy in Hell: Gustave Dore by way of Mandy Henning

The Boy in Hell: Gustave Doré by way of Mandy Henning

The Quick and the Dead

2017_Win-Loss_Pie

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

2017_Artist_Bar

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Comes a Time

2017 Losses by Week

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

First Fallen Joyce Dudley Hindman – L

This is a fun game, and it’s nice to join in with total strangers—and who can be stranger than a bunch of people frantically trying to avoid a gawdawful holiday song?—and just “have a larf,” as the Irish say.

Susan Beachy – L

I never thought cheese would do me in.

Davina Weaver – L

My new co-worker looks at me strangely, shrugs, and keeps working.

Brigitte Hales – L

I was standing outside Ariel’s ride in California Adventure when these assholes dressed as toy soldiers marched by with trumpets and puh-rum-pum-pum-pummed me in front of my whole family. My seven-year-old couldn’t stop laughing.

Lisa Andrews – L

In the Walmart produce section, where I went to purchase a single banana. One freakin’ banana.

Bev Gelfand – L

My sudden string of expletives rather scared the woman in line behind me.

Taylor Dekker – L

Who ice skates to “The Little Drummer Boy”??!!!

Pin Bender – L

Don’t trust other people’s stations.

Lillian Murphy – L

I knew going to see Pentatonix live was taking a huge risk.

Dawn Roth-Smith – L

I was so excited to be able to put gas in my own car for the first time since major foot surgery.

Darlene Tucker – L

Children are overrated!!!!

Rebecca Nelson Arkenberg – L

Who thought a Norwegian choir would choose “Little Drummer Boy” for a concert program to represent their culture?

Erin R K – L

My cat threw up on the carpet after we heard it, so I’m sure it has an effect on felines. My dog had no reaction.

Jen Hess – L

Please don’t ever stop doing this. When you get old, make sure to choose a successor. Maybe choose one now in case you get hit by a bus, Boy forbid. This ridiculous contest brings me so much happiness.

Lisa Danielson – L

At least there was beer.

Renée “Mrs. LDBC” Bauer – L

Gah!

Sharyn Corbett – W

My daughter persuaded me to do this, and I beat her. I’m very happy about it.

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
Marc L
Kim W
A., Cat L
A., Mark L
A., Sita L
A., Alex L
A., Tricia L
A., Jay L
A., Chris L
A., Rico W
A., Robert L
A., Barbara W
A., Sylvia L
A., Brian W
A., Deb L
A., Dave W
A., Evan W
A., Gregg W
Abel, Dana L
Abney, Bill L
Achauer, Allison L
Acosta, Rachel L
Adair, David L
Adams, Christoph W
Adams, Pat W
Adamson, Leif L
Addams, Wednesday L
Adler, Ellyn L
Ahern, Nancy L
Albans, Dylan L
Allard, Jennifer W
Allen-Hall, Olivia W
Allmer, Christina L
Almeida, Hannah L
Almjeld, Karin L
Almjeld, Susan Gartman L
Alpineprincess, Anne W
Altenburger, Janice L
Althoff, Drew J L
Altman, Laurie W
Amlaw Swift, Lys L
Amrhein, Justin L
Amrhein, Michele L
Anderson, Tina L
Anderson, JB L
Anderson, Susan L. L
Anderson, Giles A L
Anderson, Nathan J. W
Andrews, Lisa L
Andrews, Marcus L
Angier, Cynthia L
Anthony, Kathy L
Applebaum, Bonita L
Archer, Lisa L
Arellanes, Douglas L
Arkenberg, Rebecca Nelson L
Arnold, Joni L
Arnold, Karen L
Arnold, Richard L
Aronoff, Janee L
Ashkenaz, Scott L
Aubrey, Janice L
Auer, Avery L
Austin, Karen L
Austin, Amy E L
Axaopoulos, Penny W
B., Beth L
B., Lydia L
B., Chloe L
B., Emily L
B., Collin L
B., Andrew L
B., Mark W
B., Will W
B., B. W
B., Chip L
B., Laura W
B., Michele H L
B., Sum L
B., Kim L
B., Jeffrey L
B., Cheyenne W
B., Thom W
B., Charles W
B., Kerry W
B., Leslie L
B., Jess W
B., Lori L
B., Isaac L
B., Geni L
B., Kelly L
Babcock, Jenna W
Bachs, Rhedde L
Bacon, Sarah L
Bahrami, Julie L
Bailie, Beth L
Ball, Heather L
Baltes, Scott L
Banks, Stacie L
Barish, Mike W
Barker, Craig L
Barker, Jennifer W
Barnett, James W
Barnum, Deb L
Barr, Christine L
Barsuk, CP L
Bartholomew, Kim L
Bartholomew, Max L
Barton, Jack L
Barton, Nicole W
Batchelor, Rhonda W
Batey, Ryanne L
Batterton, Rob L
Batterton, Scott R W
Bauer, Renée “Mrs. LDBC” L
Beachy, Susan L
Bear, Bruce L
Bedolla, Brianna W
Beebe, Gillian L
Belland, Julie L
Bender, Pin L
Benjamin, Rebecca L
Bennett, Angela L
Bennett, Gene D L
Benson, Bob W
Bentley, Dawn L
Berg, Maren L
Berg, Marisa W
Berg, Stephen W
Bergquist, Emily L
Bergstrom, Sarah L
Berlin, M’ris W
Bernier, Lex L
Berry, David L
Betts, Janet L
Bez, Shawnna L
Bianchi, Emma L
Biando, Becky W
Biddle, Laura L
Biddlecomb, Susan L
Biggins, Nancy L
Birkemeier, Alan L W
Bishop, Wesley L
Bittner, Crew W
BK, Lauren W
Black, Nathan L
Black, Alan W
Blackbird, Oxalis L
Blackburn, Robin L
Blackburn, Barak L
Blackmore, Kris L
Blair, Natalie W
Blakeslee, Erin L
Blakeslee, Jennifer L
Blakeslee, Jeff L
Blanchard, Jan W
Blowers, Julia W
Boak, Tracy L
Boedecker, Nicholas and Joelle L
Boedecker, Joelle L
Boelter, Don L
Boni, Paul W
Bonnet, Gordon L
Booker, Rachel L
Booth, Brendon L
Boram, Carrie L L
Borchardt, Jennifer W
Borck, Nathanael L
Bowe, Marisa W
Boyd, Mary L
Boyd, Irene Emer L
Boyle, Keri L
Bracebridge, Tory L
Bradford, Timothy L
Bradley, Anissa L
Braganza, Désirée L
Braine, Bill L
Brandt, Karen W
Brannen, Colleen L
Bremer, Gloria L
Bremer, Grant L
Brewer, Alexandra W
Brittain, Lucretia W
Brock, George W
Brody, Larry W
Broner, Jacqueline L
Brooks, Ron L
Broom, Emily W
Brothers, Amanda L
Brown, Ben L
Brown, Jessica L
Brown, Michele L
Brown, Vicky L
Brown, Lynne L
Brown, Kirsten L
Brown, Gerard B L
Brown, Mary Jo Hobaica W
Brown, Lisa L
Browning, Heather W
Bryan, Peter C L
Bubier, Jason L
Budge, Matilda L
Buencamino, Rose L
Bullard, Jimmy W
Burnand, Lisa L
Burns, Chris W
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butterfield, John L
C., Jordan L
C., Deborah L
C., Brenda A L
C., Nichole L
C., Anita E W
C., Jada L
C., Cyndi W
C., Shelley W
C., Alec W
C., Lindsey W
C., Amanda L
C., Erika L
C., Emily W
C., Stephanie W
C., Lisa L
C., Jay L
Calderon, John W
Calhoun, Ivan L
Caliban, DJ W
Call, Christine L
Campbell, Deb L
Campbell, Kat L
Campbell, Carolynn L
Camperson, Shannon L
Carlton, Tyler L
Carpenter, Thomas W
Carr, Kim L
Carvalho, Lisa M. L
Casey, Ed L
Castillo, Rochelle L
Caston, Casey W
Catalano, Michele L
Catlin, Katherine Eppich L
Chamneaa, Janelle L
Chapman, Samuel L
Chase, Bud W
Chilson, Dawn L
Christensen, Mike L
Churchill-Danis, Jessica L
Cicconi, Kim L
Cicero, Donna L
Cicero, Morgan L
Clark, Nicole L
Clark, Sue L
Clark, Todd L
Clark, Meghan F W
Classen, Lance L
Clay-Buck, Holly L
Cleveland, Rachel L
Clow, Beth W
Cockrell, Joe L
Coggins, Tiffany L
Cohen, Andrew L
Cohen, Joseph L
Cole, Casey W
Coleman, Tami L
Collesano, Michael J L
Collins, Bootsie L
Colón, Yvette L
Coman, Sam L
Combs, Scott L
Conger-Henry, Jess L
Connelly, Irene W
Conrad, Bob L
Conroy, Heidi L
Converse, Catherine L
Conway, Kathryn m L
Cook, Jen L
Cook, Amanda M L
Cook, Ronald A L
Cook, Jacob M L
Cook, Kirsten W
Cooley, Jamie W
Cooper, Jason L L
Cope, Ben L
Corbett, Rebekah L
Corbett, Sharyn W
Corcoran, Elaine W
Corgiat, Jeanne L
Cornelison, Ann B W
Corriere, Claudia L
Couture, Jen W
Craiglow, Jodi L
Crane, Susan L
Crawford, Mindy Gulden L
Crawford, Wendy L
Cris, Joseph L
Crone, Julie L
Cronin, Michael T L
Crosby, Tyler L
Cuccia, Nick W
Culp, David R L
Cumberland, Sally E W
Cummings, Dan L
Cummins, Jean L
Cummins, Kirsten L W
Cunningham, Catherine L
Cunningham, Becky W
Cunningham, Stephanie Y. W
Curristan, Melissa L
Curry, Sean L
Curtice, Rebecca L
Curtin, Claire L
Curtis, Tammy L
Cyr, Nathan T W
D., Jennifer L
D., Alicia L
D., Alice L
D., Christina L
D., Mari L
D., Season L
D., Sharona L
D., Joshua W
D., Neal Anderson W
D., Adam W
D., Chantelle L
D., Matt L
D., Jessica L
D., Joseph D. W
D., ANNE E. W
D., Ronna W
D., Dawn L
Dage, Theo R L
Dailing, Paul L
Damigella, Rick L
Dan, Dryheat L
Daniel, David L
Daniels, Rebecca L
Danielson, Lisa L
Dark, Stephanie L
Das niels, Rebecca L
Davies, Michael L
Davis, Tina L
Davis, Ronni L
Davis, Jonathan L
Dazzle, Hollie L
De Courcy, Gabrielle L
De Lis, Tara L
Dean, Emily W
Decastrolobisser, Rena W
Deck, Mike L
Deese, Randy L
Dekker, Taylor L
DelPonte, Katie L
DeMange, Mary W
DeMattia, William W
Denehie, Elizabeth L
Denney, Jesse W
DeSimone, Mickie L
Desmarais, Barbara L
DeWaal, Erik L
Dice, Fuzzy L
Diemond, Pam L
Dilkus, Christopher W
Dimitri, C. Robert L
Dinsmore II, Richard Ellsworth L
Dobbyn, Francesca L
Dobrinski, Rebecca L
Doherty, Dawn L
Donna, WTF L
Donovan, Jessica L
Dost, Andy L
Dotta, Andrew L
Doucette, Rick EBSBU L
Dougherty, Jennifer L
Douglas, Jeanene L W
Dowd, Jim L
Downing, Thom W
Dragon, Jen Williams L
Draper, Dave L
Druce, Evan L
Drumgool, Sharon L
Duckworth, Clint L
Dudley Hindman, Joyce L
Dulchinos, Don L
Duncan, Stephanie L
Dunlap, Bobby L
Dunn, Robert L
DuPre, Justin L
Duthie, Holly W
Dye, Jessie L
Dygert, Jamal L
E., Alex L
E., Mari L
E., Michelle C L
E., Matt L
E., Meg W
E., Kevin W
E., Neil W
E., Robbin W
E., Nat L
E., Don W
Eades, Ellen L
Eastman-Kurtz, Molly L
Eckert-Chu, Corrin L
Edelstein, Rob L
Elias, Justine L
Ellis, Stephanie Jo L
Elmore, Lynn L
Elwell, Samuel L L
England, Laura L
Enn, Carmen L
Ertsgaard, Melissa W
Erwin, Robin L
Escott, Peter L
Espinosa, Andi L
Ess, Kevin L
Esterman, Sammi L
Estes, Amy L
Eu, Winsome L
Eynouf, Erica W
F., Denise L
F., Sam P. L
F., Sharyn L
F., Colleen M. L
F., Melinda L
F., Doug L
F., Jonathan L
F., Lane W
F., Harris W
F., Sam W
F., Alyssa W
F., Yoli L
F., Dani W
F., Mara L
F., Iris W
Facemire, Rhonda L
Falk, Milaka L
Farrell, Thomas W
Farrington, Kelly W
Fayerman, Jessica L
Federowicz, Peter E W
Feilan, Nessa L
Fenn, Trish L
Ferguson, Michael L
Fermenich, Justin D L
Fernandez, Julia L
Fernandez, Patricia Ann W
Fields, Stacey L
Finkelstein, Elizabeth L
Finn, Christine L
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fintschenko, Pete L
Fischer, Molly Lenore L
Fisjee, Stella L
Fitter, Fawn L
Fitzgerald, Scott L
Fitzgerald, Mark W
Fitzpatrick, LAURA E W
Flanagan, Sam L
Flanagan, Dolores W
Fleming, Lucy W
Fletcher, Barbara A. M. L
Fletcher, Kristin W
Flickinger, Meg W
Flinn, Amanda L
Flinn, Wes W
Flynn, Terri W
Forst, Christina L
Fox, Elizabeth L
Foxworthy, Brandee L W
Frank, Libby L
Frank, Zilpha A W
Franz, Amanda L
Fred, Lucy Sprague L
Freeman, Pamela W
Friedman, Cheryl L
Fritze, Hannah L
Froemming, Kelly L
Fry, David L
Fulkerson, Matthew Porter L
Fuller, Lori W
G., Kelly L
G., Wendy L
G., Becky L
G., Michele L
G., Sara L
G., Amanda L
G., Chloe L
G., Pat L
G., Nadine W
G., Caperton W
G., Peggy W
G., Jessika W
G., Scott W
G., Walker J L
G-S, Cari L
G., Meg L
G., Renegade L
G., Lila L
G., Jen L
Gafford, Durwood W
Gainer, Renee L
Gaither, Daigan L
Galinson, Stephanie L
Galles, Jill L
Gannon, Peggy L
Ganz, Claudia W
Garb, Stephanie L
Garcia, Stephanie L
Garcia, Matthew L
Garcia, Rudy L
Garcia, Chel L
Garcia, Martha W
Gardber, Amy W
Gardner, Rebecca A. W
Gardner, Jon L
Garlo, Steve W
Garrison, Randi L
Gaskill, Wendy L
Gavazzi, Melissa L
Gelfand, Bev L
Gibson, Doug L
Gill, Katie L
Gilson, Carly W
Giobreth, John D L
Gironella, Ninette L
Gleeson, Phoebe L
Glick, Kevin P. L
Gold, Hannah L
Goldfarb, David A L
Goldsmith, Tim L
Gonzalez, DJ W
Gooch, Bev L
Goodall, Pete W
Goodell, Chris L
Gordon, Jenny L
Gossett, Kristin W
Gough, Laura J W
Goymerac, Mel L
Grant, Kim L
Gratto, Eugenia E W
Gratton, Lynne L
Gray, Taryn M. L
Gray, Iris L
Gray, Carrie L L
Green, Megan L
Greene, Emily L
Greenfield, Rachel W
Greiner, Michael L
Greiner, Heather W
Grengs, Dayna L
Grieve, Kelly L
Griffin, Isaac L
Griffith, Heather W
Griggs, Linda L
Gronberg, Bethay L
H., Kelley L
H., Meagan L
H., Denyse L
H., Lesley L
H., B L
H., Dan L
H., John L
H., James A L
H., LauraRose L
H., Jasmine L
H., Agnes L
H., Bunny W
H., Chris L
H., Michael W
H., Krystal W
H., Jenni W
H., Tom L
H., Dalea L
H., Dory L
H., Sandy W
H., Olivia W
H., AJ W
H., Patricia L
H., Madeleine L
H., Robyn L
H., Cate W
H., Eric W
H., Amy L. W
H., Jennie W
H., Katie W
Habashy, Renee T W
Hadley, Wendy W
Hagel, Kate L
Hagy, Tyler W
Hailey, Meredith K L
Haims, Nicole L
Hales, Brigitte L
Hall, Larry L
Hamby, Jennifer Sluszka W
Hamiltom, Robb L
Hamilton, Reid L
Hamlin, Debbie L
Hammes, Tara L
Hanlan, Karen W
Hannan, Sara L
Hanscom, Michael L
Hansen, Kirstine R. L
Hansen, Will L
Hanses, Ben L
Hansgen, Laura W
Hanson, April L
Hapeman, Marissa L
Harkey, Sharon L
Harkin, Loren C W
Harkins, Barbara W
Harms, Eric L
Harris, Kelsey L
Harris, Jeff W
Harris, Jill M W
Hart, Denyse W
Harter, Sheena W
Hartung, Tammi L
Hatch, Rollie L
Hatcher, Peggy L
Hatcher, Cody C L
Hatfield, Alicia Nicole L
Haughie, Pete L
Haught, Maggie L
Hauser, Gus L
Hawkins, Dillon L
Hawley, Rob M W
Hawn, Molly L
Hawn, Matthew L
Hayes, Holly W
Hayward, Catherine L
Hddn, Jeff Waldo W
Head, Michelle L
Healey, Reagan L
Heck, Emily L
Heifner, Stephanie L
Heineman, Sue W
Heintzinger, Erin L W
Heittman, Alison L
Helene, Dawn L
Henderson, Fiona W
Henderson, Jim L
Henderson, Paul L L
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Henkel, Cheryl L
Hennessey, Christina L
Henning, Mandy L
Hensen, Reese L
Henson, Lisa L W
Henson, Karen W
Henson, Brian W
Herman, Ivan L
Herne, Bree L
Herrington, Betsy L
Herron, Kelly Blair W
Hess, Jen L
Hess, Scott M W
Hess, Heidi R L
Hickerson, Carey L
Hicks, Craig L
Hight, Brian L
Hill, Kathryn W
Hill, Christine W
Hinrichs, Quin L
Hinson, Brian D L
Hlumyk, Raeann L
Hlumyk, Alex L
Hodges, Todd J. L
Hodgson, Erin L L
Hogeweide, Jeremy M L
Hoksch, David W
Holcomb, Mike L
Holler, Steve J W
Hooker, Jonathan W
Hopkins, James L
Horne, Lori L
Hornyak, Jeff L
Houlihan, Christopher W
Howard, Chris L
Howard, Aaron L
Howell, Shari L
Hoyle, Taliesin W
Hubbell, Sunni L
Huber, Joanna L W
Hudspeth, Rae W
Hughes, Sorcha L
Hugo, Heather L
Humphreys, Mary L
Hunter, Joanna W
Huntley, Kristen L
Hutton, Sheryl W
Incognito, Tom W
Irving, Elizabeth M W
Isherwood, Nick L
Ives, Brian W
J., Devin L
J., Lisa L
J., Heidi W
J., Suz V W
J., Rae L
J., Kris L
Jackson, Jon L
Jackson, Tyler L
Jacob, Renae W
Jacob, Lou W
Jacobs, Rachel A W
Jacobson, Meredith W
Jaitin, Gail L
James, Gregory L
Jamieson, Bruce W
Janes, Andy L
Jenkins, Lizzie L
Jensen, Christi L
Johnson, Christy L
Johnson, Laura L
Johnson, Barry L
Johnson, Kirsten L
Johnson, Julian L
Johnson, Peggy Anne L
Johnson, Trevor L. L
Johnson, Carla Jane Searle L
Johnson, Brian L
Johnson, Barb L
Johnson, Philip W
Johnson-Fong, Jennifer L
Johnston, Maura W
Jolliffe, Meghan L
Jonas, Rebecca L
Jones, Donna J. W
Jordan, Joy L
Joseph, Jeff L
Joubert, Adam W
Joyce, Brian L
K., Nancy L
K., Jennifer L
K., Anne L
K., Erin R. L
K., Jennifer N. L
K., Nate W
K., Edva W
K., Charlie W
K., Elizabeth W
K., Kerstin W
K., Deborah W
K., Keri L
K., Sasha L
K., Jo L
K., Rachel W
Kaiser, Charles L
Kamensky, Michael L
Kaplan, Steve L
Karpf, Josh L
Kataria, Riya W
Kelleher, Desiree L
Kellogg, Sarah W
Kelly, Laura L
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Kevin L
Kennedy, Julie L
Kenyon, Stefan W
Kern, Desiree L
Kestle, Helen L
Kief, Kristen S W
Kief, Tom W
Kilgore, Addie W
King, Letitia L
Kittredge, John L
Klein, Sharon L
Klein, Ed W
Knapp, Jim L
Knarr, Michael L
Kneeland, Mishell W
Knight, Andrew L
Knowles, Rhiannon Dawn W
Kohn, Tina L
Kohn, Vicky L
Kolbe, Ryan L
Kook, Christina M W
Kopperman, Leah W
Kouts, David L
Kraiger, Michael L
Krakowsky, Posey L
Kranyak, Margaret J L
Krishef, Sol Matthew L
Kuhn, Julia W
Kunz, Nicole L
Kurylo, Jason L
Kushmaul, Crystal L
Kutrubis, Allie L
L., Carrie L
L., Krista M L
L., Ian L
L., Gabbi L
L., Mandy L
L., Brett L
L., Martin L
L., Tylar L
L., Julia L
L., Jason W
L., Abby W
L., Jim W
L., Jeff L
L., Jennifer W
L., Mariana L
L., Lisa L
L., Eleanor L
Labas Maldonado, Juls L
Lademann, Christine L
Lake-Corral, Lorien L
Lampinen, B L
Lampman, Heather L
Landry, Aaron L
Lane, Amberlynn M. L
Lane, Keith L
Lang, Kara W
Langston, Catherine L
Lanterman, Yvonne L
Lapierre, Nancy L
Larsen, Laura L
Lastname, Jon L
Laurie, Brigid L
Lauwasser, Andy L
Law, Polly L
Laxer, Ken L
Peck, Michael “Mr. LDBC” L
Lebowsky, Beth L
LeClair, Joe L
Lee, M’elle Pirri L
Lee, Jennifer G L
Lee, Roger Chong-Yi W
Lee, Carol F L
Lees, Robert L
Leffingwell, Chris L
Leibinger, Doug L
Leonard, Donna L
Lerner, Mark W
Leschen, Caryn L L
Leslie, Michael W
Leveridge, Brett W
Levy, Susie L
Lewald, Jennifer L
Li, William L
Licht, Paula W
Lichtenberg, Robyn L
Liedholm, Christopher L
Lighthouse, Frieda W
Lin, Nancy W
Linder, Gretchen W
Lindsey, Amanda B W
Linger, Zed W
Littau, Jeremy L
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Logan, Jacqueline L
Long, David L
Longoria, Maria-Alicia L
Loscar, Amanda W
Loveland, Sheila J L
Lowe, Sandra L
Lowe, Monica L
Lozano, Ray L
Lucas, Wade L
Lucas, Marc L
Lutz, Ericka L
Lynette, Rachael L
Lyons, Jacob A W
M., Nate L
M., Amy L
M., Rachel L
M., Mary L
M., Tom L
M., Rachael L
M., Blaine E L
M., Carole L
M., Liz L
M., PJ L
M., Imogene W
M., Marine W
M., Lori L
M., Erin L
M., W F W
M., Laura W
M., Lisa W
M., Christopher W
M., Lindsay M W
M., Patricia W
M., Lara L
M., Don W
M., Lauren L
M., Tris W
M., C W
M., Peg L
M., Melinda L
M., Aimee L
M., Holly L
M., Anita L
M., Heather L
M., Todd W
M., Mark L
Macaulay, Jillian L
MacDonald, Peter James L
MacKinnon, Bryn L
MacKinnon, Mary W
Magrisso, Stephanie W
Maier, John A W
Majewski, Katherine W
Mallon, Kelley L
Maloney, Sean L L
Manabat, Jeremy Macalma L
Mansfield, Lily L
Manson, Tycho W
Manuel, Jennifer L
Mapes, Jason L
March, Erin L
Margoshes, Liz L
Marn, George L
Marques, Luiz W
Marsh, Holly L
Marsh, Suzanne L
Martin, Matthew Quinn L
Martin, Noland L
Martin, Jessica L
Martini, Mia W
Masek, Shelli L
Maslar, Allison L
Massey, Misty L
Masterson, Jim L
Mastoris, Melissa L
Mastrocola, Marissa Nicole L
Masur, Josh L
Matthews, Jennifer Irene L
Mawdsley, Paul L
May, Melissa L
Mayo, Rob L
Mc, Alvin W
McCain, Billie L
McClain, Liz L
McClane, John L
McCollum, Christina Teenuh W
McCormick, Meg L
McCraw, Bethany W
McDonald, Stuart A L
McDonald, Stef L
McElligott, Kevin W
McGinniss, Liam L
McGough, Tina L
McGraw, Deb L
McGregor, Heather L
McIntosh, Patricia L
McIntyre, Chris L
McKeehan, Amy L
Mckenzie kay, Mereille W
McMahon, Chris L
McManus, Carole L
McNutt, Carol Thomson W
McShane, Conor L
Meehan yao, Nancy L
Meister, Just L
Melton, JE W
Melton, Mike W
Melzer, Kam L
Merckel, Bob L
Merrick, Janet L
Mertzman, Karen L
Messham-Muir, Kit W
Mewha, Darren L
Micha, Alyssa L
Michael, Sherry W
Michals, Rebecca L
Middleton, Neil W
Mignone, Bernadette T W
Mihalic, Susan L
Milbrath, Philip W
Miller, Nancy L
Miller, Diana L
Miller, Claire L
Miller, Ralph L
Miller, Ashley J L
Miller, Emily L
Miller, Russ W
Milliner, Michele W
Milne, Erin L
Mirenda, Kristen L
Misch, Mike L
Mitchell, Belinda & Matt L
Mochari, Loren D L
Moe, Erin E L
Moilanen, Kristin W
Mokler, Linda L
Moncrief, Megan E W
Montgomery, Ben L
Moody, Christina L
Moore, Erin L
Moore, Elizabeth L
Moore, Julia M L
Moore, Megan W
Moore, Perry F W
Moorman, Johanna W
Morayati, Katherine L
Morris, John L
Morris, Kay L
Morris, Joseph W
Morrison, Paul T L
Moses, Kim L
Motta, Katie L
Mudd, Martha W
Mulholland, Jill L
Murohy, Roy L
Murphy, Lillian L
Murphy, Sadie L
Murphy, Heather L
Murphy, Eric C L
Murphy, Abby L
Murray-Gann, Killashandra L
Myers, Michelle L L
Myers, Kevin P L
Myers, Jessie W
N., Kevin W
N., Alexander W
N., Panda W
N., Jacob C L
N., Hunter L
N., Karen L
N., Catherine W
Nagle, Victoria L
Nassivera, Jennifer L
Nathan, Don L
Nay, Lyle W
Nedderman, Erika L
Neil, Dave L
Nellie, Amanda W
Nemec, Lisa L
Neulist, Nicolle L
Neville, J. L
Newman, Heather L
Newman, Christine Shalimar W
Newman, Stephanie L
Ng, Lisa L
Niederman, Michael L
Nielsen, Kevin L
Niemi, Robin L
Niklasson, Pontus L
Nisbett, Bob W
Nixon, Jen L
Noble, Alyssa M W
Noel, Morgan L
Nolan, Mike L
Noon, Frances L
Norcross, Kate L
Nordstrom, Ron L
Nordstrom, Elizabeth L
Noreply, Nah L
November, Sharyn W
O., June L
O., Grace L
O., Staci W
O., Stephen L
O., AJ W
O., Fred W
O., Ellen L
O’Connor, Nicole L
O’Connor, Michelle L L
O’Neill, Christy L
O’Neill, Judy L
O’Saurus, Lorelei L
O’Hagan, Mickey L
OF MYSTERY, MYSTERYMAN L
Ojibway, Missy Ojibway L
Olfers, Carey L
Olivieri, Camilo L
Olson, Julile L
Olson, Nick L
Olsson, Pauline W
OPhelan, Betsy L
Ortega, Debra M L
Ostrow, Rachel L
Oswalt, Sandi L
Oswalt, Seth W
Otam, XhiDae W
Ott, Christine L
Oviatt, Eileen L
P., Alexis M L
P., Mike L
P., Mitchell L
P., Ksenia L
P., Patrick J L
P., Tim L
P., Lieran L
P., Laura L
P., Matt L
P., Sean L
P., Nick M L
P., Gaby K W
P., Ashley W
P., Angela W
P., Lynda W
P., Mike J L
P., Ray W
P., Nicole L
P., Nomy L W
P., Annie L
P., Karen W
Pace, Dan L
Packer-Greening, Alexis W
Par, Cooper L
Park, Mary L
Parv, Valerie C W
Paton, Dean G W
Patrick, Lenora Rose L
Patrick, Kevan L
Patterson, Andrea L
Paul, Victoria L
Pearlman, Janet L
Peck, Denise L
Peck, Larry W
Pellegrini, Emm e L
Pellissier, Laura L
Pendleton, Stompee L
Peppers, Mark L
Perez, Kati L
Perry, Ashley L
Peryam, Tom L
Peters, Toni-Maree L
Peterson, Nicholas L
Peterson, Nancy D L
Peterson, Teri W
Petrillo, Sophia W
Philipp, Elijah W
Phillips, Kenneth L
Phillips, Lauren L
Photopoulos, Amy L
Pickford, Jill L
Pinsonault, Diane W
Plaisted, Susie W
Plausible, Albert W
Poff, Donna W
Poinier, Liza L
Polanski, Rollin’ W
Polk, Christopher W
Polman, Lynn L
Pope, Jackson L
Porter, Brett g L
Prentice, Kim D L
Preston, Chris L
Pretz, Jessica L
Prince, Miranda W
Privett, Gaby W
Printz, Irit L
Prober, Melissa L
Puchalski, Anna L
Puri, Carol L
Purkiss, Blair W
Purvis, Shonda W
Q., Galen L
Quinn, Jen L
Quinn, Sean W
R., Khajha L
R., Douglas L
R., Regina L
R., Stephanie L
R., Taylor L
R., Jennifer L
R., Rob W
R., William A W
R., Leah L
R., Sara L
R., Lee F W
R., Tobiann W
R., TeAnna W
R., Lonnie L
Rahe, Chris L
Rainbolt, Jenny L
Ramina, Matt L
Ramsey, Alec L
Randal, Albert W
Rasmussen, Rob J L
Raucci, Samantha L
Rea, Laura L
Red, Bolivia L
Redekop, Corey L
Redman, Emily W
Reed, Tammey L
Reed, Pegguin Pfenninger L
Reed, Carlin L
Reichman, Dana L
Reid, Mary L
Reno, Chris W
Renzulli, Linda Foley W
Reynolds, Amanda L W
Reznek, Abby L
Reznek, Karen W
Rice, Pat L
Rice, Jamie W
Richardson, Darlene W
Richter, Betsy L
Ridenour, Greg L
Riggins, Lisa L
Riley, Kathleen L
Rittenberry, Shella W
Robert, Mary L
Robichaux, Julie L
Robins, Ken L
Robinson, Chris W
Roche, Kayla L
Rogal, Dawn M L
Rogers, Neal L
Rollans, Scott L
Rosado, Mercedees W
Rose, Alec L
Rose, Sadie E L
Rose, Mandy W
Rosenberg, Peter L
Ross, Janna L
Roszel, Deborah L
Roth, Amy L
Roth-Smith, Dawn L
Roush, Sean L
Rubenking, Kelsey W
Rubio, Raymond L
Rudolph, Cher L
Ruggiero, Megan M W
Rule, Kevin L
Russell, Kat L
Russum, Allison W
Rutford, Sue L
Rutherford, Ed L
Ruzich, Christian W
Ryan, Calum Neil L
Ryder, Lane W
S., Beth L
S., Jennifer L
S., Brent L
S., Barbara L
S., Steve L
S., Noah L
S., Brianna L
S., Adrian L
S., Lee Ann L
S., Susan S L
S., Laurel L
S., Lynne L
S., Allison A L
S., Guinevere L
S., Jeannie L
S., Lughaidh W
S., LIanne W
S., Sandy W
S., Kari L
S., Donna W
S., Stephanie W
S., Sarah W
S., Ashley L
S., Alex W
S., Erin L
S., Carmen L
S., Drew W
S., Nusia W
S., Ivan W
S., Theo W
S., Lindsay L
S., Dee W
S., Candace W
S., Shannon W
S., Libby L
S., Kirby L
S., Pete L
S., David L
S., Amanda L
S., Andy L
S., Adam W
S., Danny W
S., Jane W
S., Elizabeth W
Sabatasso, Jessica Mae L
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Sailors, Kenneth M W
Sakai, Shuji L
Salvador, Phil L
Samson, Phil L
Samuelson, Jenn L
Samuelson, Michael D W
Santi, Ralph L
Santos, S W
Sapio, Karen L
Saunders, Gwyneth J W
Savinski, Karen W
Scarlato, Tracy L
Schaeffer, Julie L
Schinke, Chris L
Schlagenhauf, Ann L
Schmalz, Fred W
Schmeling, Kristin W
Schmidt, James Patrick L
Schneider, Deborah L
Schneider, Maria L
Schnelle, Krista W
Schoenholz, Elon W
Schubauer, Heather L
Sciullo, Allison L
Scott, Kim L
Scott, Chris L
Seaver, W.A. W
Sebrell, Cheryl L
Segall, Margaret W
Senner, Lissa L
Severy, Alison L
Shaffer-griffitha, Chanda L
Shea, Rachel Lynne L
Sheetz, Krista L
Shengold, Nina W
Sheridan, Clare L
Sherlock, Ken L
Sherman, Mike R W
Shine, Amy L
Shira Family, M W
Shirley, Dave L
Shiroma, Julie L
Shook, Carol Ann L
Short, Jeff W
Sigman, Laura L
Simon, Gary L
Siple, Eileen M L
Skinner, Claire L
Slavin, Carolyn L
Slavin, Mike L
Slaysman, Shirley W
Slice, Brendizzle W
Smith, Cathy L
Smith, Mark L
Smith, Cindi L
Smith, Nate L
Smith, Emma L
Smith, Amy L
Smith, Eleanor L
Smith, Moe L
Smith, Randy D W
Smith, Maggie L
Smith, Koree W
Smith, Dan W L
Smith-Petersen, Laura L
Smithe, Liz L
Smitheman, Matt W
Smyth, Neal L
Snyder, Elizabeth L
Solliday, Joanne W
Solovay, Andrew L
Sorenson, Greg L
Sorokoff, Carrie L
Sorsanen, Repe W
Spangler, Sam L
Spence, Jon L
Spencer, Joy L
Spencer, Terie L
Sperry, Arthur L
Stark, Cody Danger L
Stebbins, Matt L
Steen, Sara L
Stein, Katie L
Stein, Sam L
Stein, Avi L
Steinhauer, Art L
Steinkuller, Andrea W
Stephenson, Jesse L
Sterling, Z L
Stern, Alice F L
Stevens, Andy L
Stewart, Rachel L
Stewart, Jonathan C. L
Stewart, Rebekah W
Stickley, Aileen W
Stof, Kae L
Stone, David R. L
Stone-Baltz, Sandra L
Stowe, D L
Stowe, John L
Strand, Tone Helene Othilie L
Strawser, Heather L
Strebler, Laura L
Street, Henry L
Stuever, Russell W
Sudilovsky, Alexis Aubrey L
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, Martha L
Sullivan, Diane B L
Sullivan, Jason L
Sullivan, Rebecca W
Sullivan, Niki W
Summer, Esther L
Summers, Bennett L
Sumpf, Madison M L
Sutter, Sara B L
Swain, Tiki L
Szalach, Jennifer E L
T., Kati L
T., Tyler W
T., Laura W
T., John W
T., Dara W
T., Hugh W
T., Erin W
T., Jess L
T., Katie Beth L
T., Kacee L
T., Susan L
Tacker, Susan W
Taitano, Julie E L
Talley, Jen L
Tanner, Jessica L
Tappan, Stacey L
Tarabour, Lucy W
Tatrin, Mikhail L
Taylor, Pam L
Taylor, Price L
Taylor, Hadley W
Taylor, Jack Emery L
Teague Ammerman, Amy L
Tembreull, Chris W
Temple, Kevin L
Tepper, Michele W
Terrill, Sharon L W
Testerton, Testy L. W
Tetreault, Brian J W
Tevyaw, Christine W
Thiede, Jaleigha W
Thom, Neil Chandler L
Thom, Craig S W
Thomas, Leila W
Thomas, Cathy D. W
Thompson, Julie L
Thompson, J W
Timberlake, Anne L
Timms, George W
Timrawi, Erin L
Tingey, Janet W
Todd, Kristen L
Tonkin, Charles L
Toohey, Anthony L
Touzet, Joan L
Townsend, Rob L
Trapp, Mike L
Traub, JT L
Trott, Natalie L
Trotter, Mary L
Tuberville, Joshua L
Tuciarone, Mike L
Tucker, Brian L
Tucker, Darlene L
Tulip, Malcolm L
Turiel, Josh W
Turner, Steve L
U., Deborah L
Umbaugh, Bruce L
Underhill, Amanda L
Unruh, Laramie L
Urick, Mel L
V., Alejandra L
V., Erica L
V., Jennifer L
V., Kim L
V., Lisa W
V., Linda L
Vader, Michael W
Vandermark, Bill L
VanHorn, Shawn A W
VanMatre, Jennifer L
VanRy, Denise L
Velez, Julie L
Vertino, Dave L
Vineyard, Sherrie L
Vinson, Kathy L
Viola, Zack L
Visnov, Michael L
Vollono, Kim L
Vosloo, Graham L
W., C.S. L
W., Gretchen L
W., Heidi L
W., Janet L
W., Terry L
W., Cindy L
W., Elizabeth L
W., Harold L
W., Sarah L
W., Dena G L
W., Kristi L
W., Amber L
W., Keenan L
W., Allie M L
W., Adam L
W., Essie W
W., Jackie W
W., Deborah W
W., Megan W
W., Mark W
W., Molly Katherine L
W., L’Rae L
W., Stacia W
W., Diane L
W., Minda W
W-J, Daniel E. W
W., Katie W
W., Karl W
Wacknov, Stacey W
Wagner, Betsy L
Walden, Steven L
Walker, H. Liz L
Walker, Erin L
Wall, Nancy L
Wallace, Aisha L
Walsh, Chrissy W
Wandel, G Bernard L
Wangmo, Shardröl W
Ward, J. Robin L
Ward, Terence P W
Washburn, Shari L
Watson, Kristan L
Watson, Sophie L
Watts, Kelly Lankau W
Weatherston, Claire L
Weaver, Davina L
Webb, Kelsey L
Webb, Barbara L
Webb, Jacob W
Weber, Kendra L
Weilacher, Allyn L
Wendell, LeeAnn L
Wesdorp, Jade W
Wessel Walker, Mary L
Wessel Walker, Donna W
Wheeler, Robin L
White, Joanna L
White, Brian D L
White, Beth L
Whitton, Audra W
Wiese, Jodi L
Wieth, Jason W
Wilcox, Janey L
Wilcox, Carmon L
Wilder, Lynn W
Wilkinson, Meg L
Willett, Lindsay L
Williams, Raymond L
Williams, Nancy L
Williamson, Becky Rusmisel W
Wills, Carroll L
Wilson, Stacey L
Wilson, Jennifer L
Wilson, Jason L
Wilson Hall, Bridget W
Winchell, Pam W
Winter, Stacy L
Wirth, Diane W
Wise, Newton W
With-Ana, Anna W
Witkowski, Tom L
Witt, Michelle L
Wojick, Jane L
Wolf, Jodie L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Wong, Katie L
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Gretchen L
Woods, John L
Woodward, April L
Wrenn, Leslie Jabara L
Wright, Andrew L
Wright, Lauren W
Wyatt, Brennan M. L
X., Joey W
Y., Jo L
Yamat, Vanessa L
Young, Shelle L
Yung, Charles L
Z., Bobby L
Z., Bailey L
Z., Mark L
Z., Alix L
Z., Richie L
Z., Julie W
Zientek, Joshua W
Zimmerman, Toni C L
Zions, Jason W
Zuber, Tara L
Zukas, Florian W
Zwiebel, Elie L

Day 30: “Someday This War’s Gonna End”

Colonel_Kilgore_1600w

The end is relative due to that little thing known as the Earth’s rotation. As you read this, the struggle is over for the year for our friends in places such as New Zealand and Australia. (And I know we have some because I see where those who visit this blog are from. But don’t worry—I can’t see who you are or anything intrusive like that.) The dark time just expired in the Middle East, too.

But here in the U.S.? It’s hours to daylight—or, if you want to be overly literal—midnight.

As I type this, 961 people have reported in as having been taken out by the dreaded Boy. And there are plenty more who haven’t had a chance to let us know yet, I’m sure. Mrs. LDBC and I are stone dead, having been laid low in two separate incidents. Desperate cries of, “Don’t drum me, bro” carry no weight with The Boy.

When it’s your moment, you’re gonna get it.

Billy Joel slaughtered thousands—including LDBCers the Peckmans (no relation)—at The Garden a few days back, and the Piano Man probably doesn’t even know what he did. Probably. Kay Morris went down right in front of my old office building, which makes The Boy’s evil feel even more personal. Justin Fermenich‘s downfall was such a tragedy that a press release was issued.

Yet there is hope. And it’s that hope, a small flame in all this darkness, that allows us to go on.

Billy Joel

He’s seen the lights go out on Broadway. As have his victims.

Midnight. Just a word—a word so distant, though brimming with relief. Yet it will arrive all the same.

But the nail-biting hours we have left feel much like, as a friend of mine pointed out today, Henry Hill‘s cocaine-fueled day of paranoia. Sure, the drug made him jumpy and nutty. Still, the helicopter was real. And Lois, despite all her yeah-yeah-yeahs, did made the call from the house.

Meanwhile, here are the LDBC-elfies submitted since the last go-round. May their sacrifice not be in vain.

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Ever vigilant, people. And remember: if midnight your local time hits and you’ve survived, report your victory via the form. Then post a victorious LDBC-elfie on the Facebook page. If you’ve lost already and haven’t reported it yet, there’s still time to do that, too.

For Joyce!

Day 19: Just Another Day

Frank-Sheridan

The Boy by Van Frank (courtesy Libby); Santa ornament by Maggie Sheridan (courtesy Clare)

So Mrs. LDBC and I are just getting around to watching the second season of Stranger Things, which sets the mood nicely for this Thing of Ours. And in only the first episode, they include the perfect song, which I’d forgotten all about:

Because it has been just another day. Nineteen of ’em, in fact—dark and deadly ones. And as Mr. Elfman says, there’s murder in the air. And a lot more of it to come, I’m afraid.

Now, it’s not all doom and gloom, people. Well, it is for the time being, but I’d like you to keep the children’s art (on loan from the offspring of generous LDBCers Libby Frank and Clare Sheridan) in mind so that the creative pixie dust of the wee ones’ drawing implements may help you face the butchery ahead.

We’re about 600 people down thus far in the game, which is more than 30 blown away daily, on average. And that’s just those who’ve reported in. Madness. (Not the band. I’m talking true lunacy here.)

Alec Rose suffered a Moldavian Massacre-like episode in Whole Foods, which might as well be called Whole Family from this day on. Lisa Andrews wanted a banana—and for her sins, The Boy gave her one.  Desiree Kern got wrapped up but goodPeggy Gannon survived a day of paintball, only to get pasted. And Lillian Murphy. Ah, Lillian Murphy. In a year where more people than ever are being taken down by the dreaded Pentatonix, Lillian Murphy managed to do it live, in person, at a concert. That kind of suffering takes some doing, folks.

While I’m at it, let me just stress: stay away from Pentatonix. And for pity’s sake, do not watch that Pee-wee Herman/Grace Jones video being sent around. Oh, and avoid Psych: The Movie, which has been mowing people down right and left. And when you see the Amazon Echo/Alexa and Blue Man Group ads coming, run like hell.

What else? A couple nice mentions from The Boston Globe and The Indianapolis Star, both of which we’re very grateful for. Spreading the word about the menace of The Boy means lives may be saved. And speaking of lives saved, LDBCer Marine Madesclaire filed this dispatch from the Land o’ Disney, which she managed to escape unscathed. We’ll take our inspiration where we find it, so thank you, MM.

(Please note that there should be a video above. If there isn’t, please try another browser or watch it here. Chrome on the Mac can sometimes be wonky with Facebook embeds, for some reason.)

All of that said, there’s no avoiding the sadness, people. Thus, we present a gallery of the latest victims, here to be mourned along with those from the last batch. And a strange idea I’ll toss at you: while assembling and tagging this gallery, I was listening to the Hilarious World of Depression podcast. And as it turns out, clicking through the gallery while the theme song from that plays makes for an oddly appropriate multimedia experience. Give it a try.

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OK, remember, please: should you go down, let us know on the Facebook page, and fill out the reporting form. And all the while, be true to the spirit of Carlin Reed, who really does manage to sum the entire LDBC dynamic up in one simple statement here:

Carlin_Reed_Simian

And let’s be careful out there.

For Joyce!

Day 5: “Mumma, We Lost”

Kris Blackmore

Kris Blackmore LDBC-elfie

I’m gonna level with you, LDBCers: heartless as I may appear to be, I’m actually a big, giant softie with gooey insides. Sort of a molten-chocolate cake, if you will—if said dessert had a crust of hardened steel and a core consisting of my vital organs floating in a living aspic of empathy, remorse, blood, and weeping. (Hey, nobody told you to eat while reading this thing.)

Thus, when ‎Heather Cvitkovic McGregor shared this Black Friday tale punctuated by her broken-hearted six-year-old, I swear to you, I misted up a bit. I mean, look: I don’t do this thing to make little girls cry. And I think what really gets to me is the way the kid thinks not of herself, but of her family unit suffering together. I’m not kidding, people: it’s lump-in-the-throat time.

Let me set the scene. Black Friday. A second Thanksgiving dinner spent with my family. My sweet children and innocent nieces and nephew are idyllically playing. Christmas music hums in the background. Bellies full, my sister and I laugh as we do the dishes. And then my precious six-year-old comes to me with giant tears in her eyes. “Mumma, we lost.” I look at her quizzically. And then I hear it. And a string of obscenities come pouring out of my mouth. What?!?! Who put this station on? Who jeopardized mine and my children’s chances of making it through the holiday season? Why?!?! So I didn’t make it an entire 24 hours. And it took me two days to recover from the loss. It will take my nieces and nephew a lifetime to recover from my foul mouth. I did not take a picture. I could not even tell you what version it was. I can only tell you I lost—and not at all graciously. Damn you, Drummer Boy. Maybe next year!

See? How can I go on after that? But then I remember that you’re all counting on me to keep making the donuts, so I relegate that grieving child to the statistical scrapheap. I man up and move on. I volunteered for this, after all. I’m just saying I’m not a monster, okay? That would be The Boy. Not me.

Anyway, as of this posting, we’ve got 152 casualties reported on the official form. That’s twice what we had as of this date last year. It like somebody invited us to go swimming with sharks and then dumped chum in the water. Only it’s not toothy fish we need to worry about it, it’s holiday-themed evil incarnate. You get the picture.

A couple fun things to note, though: we got a great write-up from The A.V. Club the other day. And I did my yearly thing with our pals at Good Day Sacramento this morning:

Also, here’s LDBCer Kara Lang on family tradition. And if this doesn’t uncork your holiday sentiment, I doubt there’s anything else we can do to help you, to be perfectly honest.

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So there’s that. Plus we’ve got a whole host of LDBC-elfies turned in already (gallery below). If you’ve gotta go out, might as well go in style and send a snapshot of the tragedy our way. And we have our First Fallen, too, whose name is the battle cry that gives us strength to make it through LDBC 2017, the valorous Joyce Dudley Hindman.

Ever vigilant, people. For Joyce!

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It Has Begun

It Has Begun

It has begun, people. We have always been at war with The Boy.
And already, we have our First Fallen. From here on out, the battle cry sounds for the late, lamented LDBCer Joyce Dudley Hindman.

Check the rules for a refresher (we have a new one that says you can’t hassle musicians), and don’t forget to report in via the official form should The Boy strike you down.

And hey—let’s be careful out there. For Joyce!