It never fails. We try to warn everyone, and somebody still insists on watching a deadly film or TV episode and goes down in flames. So, after years of saying we’re going to put this list together, we’ve actually done it. These are the deadliest movies and reruns that are most likely to do you in. We shouldn’t have to say this, but we will: do not watch these while the game is on.

Thank you, and please note that this is a spreadsheet, so you may need to scroll horizontally or vertically to see everything.

(Also, thank you to faithful LDBCers Mandy Rose and ‎Julie Levin Schaeffer‎, among others for reminding us to just go ahead and slap this thing up already. We hate to admit that sometimes we need to be told a million times to do something, but it’s true. That’s why we didn’t do very well in school.)

Update: We just stumbled upon this exhaustive list on the IMDb page for Katherine K. Davis, the song’s composer. We’ll move a bunch over to our list as time permits, but meanwhile, check there before watching something classic.

Also: OK, a man’s got to know his limitations. We haven’t been close to keeping up on all of the additions people have sent in, particularly dutiful LDBCer Sarah Boucher, whose contributions have been above and beyond. So here’s a link to the raw list, which allows you to see everything that’s coming in. (And I do mean raw—I haven’t gone through it in quite a while, so there are dupes and unverified instances in there, but it reveals many a landmine and booby trap waiting for you in your holiday viewing.)

Are we missing something? Please let us know by filling out this form, and we’ll even credit you once we’ve verified it (assuming it’s not already on our list).