Just a short update, LDBCers, and there’s no pretty way to say this: It’s a freakin’ apocalypse.

Only five days in, and the body count has topped 50. Fifty! Der Bingle and Aladdin Sane lead the Murderers’ Row list with three thus far, but not far behind are Burl “The Churl” Ives, Kenny G.-I’d-Love-to-Kill-Ya, Mannheim Steamroller, Perry Como, and Ray Conniff and his Bloodthirsty Singers with two each.

Home remains the deadliest place to hang, with 13 lives lost there, but retail establishments are coming up fast, with a total of 11.

Oh, the humanity. Or, as the wondrous Willy Wonka said: The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.