This latest helping of holiday hokum was a staple of Clay Aiken’s “Joyful Noise” Tour (2004-2007). But there’s nothing joyful about this noise, my friends. Clay is the closest thing we in the real world have to a Rankin/Bass stop-motion character. However, Kris Kringle, Yukon Cornelius—hell, even Hermey—wouldn’t be caught dead warbling this syrupy Yuletide twaddle. This one’s enough to make me turn into Sombertown’s Burgermeister Meisterburger right quick. Or, to paraphrase Marsellus Wallace, “I’m gonna get Bumble on your ass.” — Mrs. LDBC