Fallen drummer by Reuben Radding
Go, tell the Spartans, stranger passing by
That here, obedient to their laws, we lie.
And with that, just one of many translations of the poem to mark the heroics of men who each had more bravery in his pinky toe than I have in the entirety of my corpus, we celebrate the yearly toppling of The Boy, fellow LDBCers. We, the fallen, cheer the triumph of our winners while battling to contain the Giger-esque chest-burster of jealousy. And I face down a seasonal terror second only to that of the little rat-a-tat bastard himself: basic math.
The 2014 LDBC brought us a 46 percent increase in Facebook likes (from 1,830 to 2,675). More fearless holiday warriors willing to challenge the rhythmic darkness. And a few more skillful ones, apparently, since our reported win rate improved from 25 percent last year to 29 percent this year. Or maybe there are more shut-ins. Or more liars, perhaps. Still, a reported win’s a reported win, and I, for one, believe them, as I am a giving kind of guy.
One other statistical difference you’ll note is that this year marks the first time that the deadly duo of Bing and Bowie haven’t taken first place in the body count. That’s because I, being ever observant, realized after five years of doing this that people were reporting losses via the solo Bing version and not the combo, so I broke them out separately. Thus, live performances are now the King of Chaos and Harry Simeone reigns as Baron Blood.
Other firsts? This year marked the debut of the First Fallen, the lead-off loser who inspires the seasonal battle cry with his or her awful misfortune. For 2014, that dubious honor went to long-time LDBCer Susan Campbell Beachy, who bought it on day one with a grace comparable to that of Wile E. Coyote wrestling gravity. (She went paws-up at Michael’s Crafts while searching for a holiday garland for her bannister. For Susan!)
All gloom aside, let’s not forget that we end, as we do every year, with the inevitable victory delivered by our old friend the Gregorian calendar. (The second hand saves us when it passes the twelve in the first moments of December 24th, as it dependably does every year, after all.)
And this time around, we celebrate another groundbreaking gift, the arrival of the first LDBC twins (and first LDBC babies of any kind, as far as we know). Wee ones Bea and Tess showed up on December 9th and helped save their mom, LDBCer CJ, with the forced isolation of a nine-day hospital stay. And as Mom pointed out, they both have a lifetime LDBC winning streak going. (Please join us in welcoming the kids to the fray and congratulating the happy parents on their creation of life in the defiance of so much woe. Whoa.)
Credit: 2014 LDBC twins Bea and Tess by CJ
And if the circle-of-life thing isn’t quite enough joy for you, if you need more positivity to cram into your cheek pouches for later use, we also treat you to this, a note left for Santa by LDBCer Keri Rae Boyle‘s grateful third-grader. Personally, I rejoice in the knowledge that I’m not the only one out there who needs a few do-overs, even if my standard is set by a member of the post-Berenstain Bears crowd.
Credit: Santa note and note writer by Keri Rae Boyle
With that, we bring you the yearly NASA-level graphs and analysis, plus an LDBC-elfie gallery that’s full to bursting with pathos but is also leavened with a few pinches of win. And, of course, the sad and stirring narrative highlights and the ever-lovin’ LDBC Wall, your reward for filling out the reporting form. (And if you didn’t fill it out, but want to get on the Wall, you can still do so. I’ll check it now and then and add you laggards.)
As I say every year, this thing of ours helps get us through the holidays, and we couldn’t do it without you. So from all us slain Spartans to those still shuffling out the jitterbug o’ victory, a very Happy New Year, and best wishes for a wonderful 2015.
Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.
The Quick and the Dead
Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.
Song Sung Blue
Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)
Here Is Where the Story Ends
Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)
LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured
LDBCer Tales from the Trenches
Jack Taylor – L
I will never buy anything retail again.
Irene Connelly – L
When I encountered The Boy, as we all must, he was wrapped in a handmade artisanal flag, carrying an organic, slow-food lunch encased in recyclable BPA-free plastic in one hand and a locally handcrafted gluten-free ale in another. This is not what I call sustainability.
Marcus Andrews – W
Being an out of touch, mass-media-shunning, shopaphobic curmudgeon finally paid off this year.
Robert Helfen – L
Just had to buy those stupid wall anchors, right?
Mary Humphreys – L
“Oh shit,” said my mother.
Jamie Baker – W
After five years, I have vanquished the Boy and his power. I HAVE TASTED VICTORY AND IT IS DELICIOUS. (If that doesn’t warrant caps-lock abuse, I ask you, what does?)
Chris Smith – L
I was blind-sided like Willem Dafoe in Platoon.
Ted Bunn – L
I suppose we could have left the room, like members of a secret society when the society’s name is mentioned, but good manners got the better of us.
Cori Eckert-Chu – W
Slacker was axed on the final day, but he can report his own tale of woe while I dance the victory Happy Dance around him. Things like this are good for our marriage.
Elizabeth Fox – L
Buying head cheese for my mom at a German deli. Oh, well. She liked the head cheese.
Steve Friedman – L
I ducked briefly into Au Bon Pain to check out les soupes du jour, and tout d’un coup I realized that le voix du Bing mort was croonant cette chanson maudite on the background-music service. Merde, merde, merde.
Kate Hagel – L
My stupid kids love the polka music.
Cate Husted – L
Stupid Anne Murray. Stupid garden gnome.
Adam Kelly – L
Now I must explain to my son that he is an orphan.
A.D. Puchalski – L
My co-workers were shocked I lasted four days. I cursed them out with the sort of happy fury you expect from the lone non-chef in a cake shop.
Maria Kelly – L
All I wanted was to feel a bit of holiday joy, so I turned on the Finnish holiday music station online.
Kjell King – L
The old lady sitting next to me had somehow figured out how to make TLDB her ringtone. I thought old people were supposed to be shitty with technology.
Ellen Adler – L
I kinda sounded like Nancy Kerrigan after Tonya Harding whacked her.
Rae Loney – L
I panicked and nearly punched the driver in the face.
Wade Lucas – L
The wife was playing with our dog, dressing him up like a shepard, and just started singing.
Megan Moore – W
The first year I’ve won!!! I’m so happy I could cry!!! I love this game. All my friends and family think I’m crazy, but this is such a fun thing for me every year! Thanks so much for all the work you do!
Gil Reavill – L
Never trust your shuffle.
Brian White – L
I went into the leasing office of my apartment complex for service, and he nailed me. Upon hearing his dreaded music, I yelled expletives a crusty, drunken longshoreman shouldn’t hear, let alone a six-year-old girl, who just happened to be present (the girl, not the longshoreman). This is what it sounds like when doves cry.
Brendizzle Slice – L
Yelling, “No!” like Vader when he found out he was Vader.
Esther Summer – L
Who would expect a kosher ice cream emporium to be playing Xmas songs? Yarmulkes and “The Little Drummer Boy” are a bad mix.
Holly Melton – L
You’re a bad man, Charlie Brown!
Anthony Vant Leven – W
Headphones and Weird Al kept me safe.
The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall
| Name | Result |
| (Not Mike), Mike | L |
| A, Barbara | W |
| A, Berto | L |
| A, Regina | L |
| Abel, Ali | L |
| Abel, Dana | L |
| Achauer, Allison | W |
| Aczon, Evan | W |
| Addison, Libby | L |
| Adler, Ellyn | L |
| Agins, Chuck | L |
| Ahern, Sylvia | W |
| Ajdukiewicz, Jeremy | L |
| Albans, Dylan | W |
| Alberti, Lawrence | L |
| Albright, Kristen | L |
| Albulario, Dave | L |
| Allen, Mike | L |
| Allmer, Christina | L |
| Alphabet, Kat | L |
| Alsdorf, Ducky | W |
| Altom, Ashley | L |
| Altreuter, Bill | L |
| Ambyth, Michael | L |
| Amlaw Swift, Lys | L |
| Anastasia, Shandielle | W |
| Anderson, Kevin | L |
| Anderson, Sue | W |
| Andrews, Lisa | L |
| Andrews, Marcus | W |
| Andrews, Shamela | L |
| Angel, Lauryn | L |
| Anthony, Kathy | W |
| Antonelli, Lisa | W |
| Aplin, Carol | L |
| Appel, Kris | L |
| Ardizzone, Marc | L |
| Arellanes, Douglas | L |
| Arick, Susan | W |
| Ariz, Ermer | L |
| Arkenberg, Rebecca | L |
| Armbruster, Tom | L |
| Arnold, Joni | W |
| Aronoff, Janee | L |
| Ashe, A | W |
| Augé, Suzanne | L |
| Austin, Karen | L |
| Avery, Cam | L |
| Ayer, Katy | L |
| B, A | L |
| B, Gloria | L |
| Babineaux, Mera | W |
| Bailie, Beth | L |
| Baiyor, Patricia | L |
| Baker, Beth | L |
| Baker, Jamie | W |
| Bales, Jim | W |
| Banannie, Annie | L |
| Barish, Mike | L |
| Barker, Craig | L |
| Barnett, James | W |
| Barrie, Paul | L |
| Barry, Sally | L |
| Bassi, Laura | L |
| Baszto, Sarah | W |
| Bauer, Renée | L |
| Beachy, Doug | W |
| Beachy, Mike | L |
| Beachy, Susan | L |
| Beals, Andrew | W |
| Beebe, Cindy | L |
| Beebe, Gillian | L |
| Beers, Marlaina | L |
| Bell, Karen | L |
| Bennett, Angela | L |
| Bentley, Dawn | L |
| Berg, Greg | L |
| Bergquist, Rob | W |
| Bernal, Victoria | W |
| Berndt, Nicci | L |
| Bernstein, Andrew | L |
| Berrones, Lisa | L |
| Berry, David | L |
| Bersano, Robbie | W |
| Bertsche, Katie | W |
| Bianchi, Emma | L |
| Biando, Becky | W |
| Bichsel, Stefanie | W |
| Bickelhauptb, John | L |
| Biddlecomb, Susan | W |
| Bingham, Craig | L |
| Birkemeier, Alan | W |
| Birkemeier, Glenn | L |
| Birkhead, Andrew | L |
| Blackburn, Barak | W |
| Blackburn, Robin | L |
| Blackmore, Kristen | L |
| Blair, Natalie | W |
| Blanchard, Joanne | L |
| Bodie, Jen | L |
| Boedecker, Joelle | L |
| Bogan, Emma | W |
| Bonnet, Gordon | L |
| Booth, Brendon | W |
| Borchardt, Jennifer | L |
| Borck, Jeffrey | W |
| Bot, Sooshe | W |
| Bota, Savanna | L |
| Boy, Jet | L |
| Boyle, Keri | L |
| Bracebridge, Tory | L |
| Bradley, S | L |
| Bradley, Terri | L |
| Braine, Bill | L |
| Bremer, Grant | L |
| Brenner, Erin | L |
| Brewer, Juleah | L |
| Brian Ragan, Julie Galdieri (And) | L |
| Britton, Kim | L |
| Brock, George | L |
| Broner, Jacqueline | L |
| Brooks, Steve | L |
| Brookshaw, Chip | L |
| Brouwer, Tara | W |
| Brown, Ben | W |
| Brown, Jessica | L |
| Brown, Mary Jo | W |
| Brown, Michele | L |
| Brown, Sian | L |
| Brundage, Patrick | L |
| Buchbinder, Brian | L |
| Buchert, Georgia | W |
| Buckley, Jeremy | L |
| Bunn, Ted | L |
| Buonacore, Sarah | W |
| Burbank, Valentina | L |
| Burch, Scooter | L |
| Burchill, Hannah | W |
| Burke-Smith, Kit | L |
| Burlingham, Ann | L |
| Burnand, Lisa | W |
| Burnett, Robin | L |
| Butkiewicz, Christine | L |
| Butler, Neil | L |
| Byrne, Brian | L |
| Calhoun, Ivan | L |
| Camas, Joanne | L |
| Campbell, Carolynn | L |
| Campbell, Deb | L |
| Campbell, Kat | L |
| Campbell, Roger | W |
| Candow, Cheyenne | W |
| Cara, Anam | W |
| Carber, M | W |
| Cardona, Mylynka | L |
| Carey, Jeanette | L |
| Carpenter, Thomas | L |
| Carr, Brenda | L |
| Carr, Kim | L |
| Carrasco, Nona | W |
| Carvalho, Lisa | L |
| Castillo, Angel | L |
| Caston, Casey | L |
| Chamberlain, Alan | L |
| Chandler, Trey | L |
| Chaney, Stephanie | L |
| Chavez, Ermando | L |
| Chilson, Dawn | L |
| Chipman, Chris | W |
| Chirico, Alisa | L |
| Christensen, Julie | L |
| Christensen, Michael | L |
| Christie, Ian | L |
| Churchill-Danis, Jessica | L |
| Cicero, Donna | L |
| Cicero, Morgan | L |
| Clark, Robin | L |
| Clvenger, Carey | W |
| Coe, Scott | L |
| Coffey, Lea Ann | L |
| Cohen, Jay | W |
| Cohen, Joseph | L |
| Cole, Aillene | W |
| Collesano, Michael | W |
| Colligan, Chrissy | W |
| Colligan, Kevin | W |
| Collins, Amy | L |
| Connelly, Irene | L |
| Connolly, Becki | L |
| Connolly, Cyndi | W |
| Conroy, Heidi | L |
| Cooke, Stephen | L |
| Cordero, Linda | L |
| Cox, Anna | L |
| Cradeur, Heather | L |
| Craig, David | L |
| Crane, Susan | L |
| Crawford, Mindy | W |
| Creamer, Duncan | W |
| Crosby, Pam | L |
| Crosby, Tyler | L |
| Culp, Elizabeth | L |
| Cummings, Dan | L |
| Cummins, Kirsten | L |
| Cunningham, Catherine | L |
| Cureton, Melissa | L |
| Curro, Christy | L |
| Curtis, Tammy | L |
| D’Angelo, Ella | L |
| Daley, Matt | L |
| Damewood, Amy | W |
| Damigella, Rick | L |
| Daniel, David | W |
| Daniels, Rebecca | L |
| Dark, Stephanie | L |
| Dashnaw, Rob | W |
| Davis, Jonathan | W |
| Davis, Tina | L |
| Dea, Joe | L |
| Dean, Liz | L |
| Deangelo, Keri | L |
| Deangelo, Michael | L |
| Decastro-Lobisser, Rena | W |
| Dees, Jenny | L |
| Delange, Lisa | L |
| Denchy, Ruth | L |
| Denehie, Elizabeth | L |
| Denoncourt, Kellie | L |
| Derrick, Carolynn | W |
| Desimone, M | L |
| Devereux, Season | L |
| Devine, Roger | W |
| Diamond, Joshua | L |
| Dillon, Sara | L |
| Ditullio, Amy | L |
| Dixon, Anne | L |
| Dixon, Joan | L |
| Dixon, Stephen | W |
| Dobbie, Catherine | L |
| Dobbyn, Francesca | L |
| Doberstein, Steve | L |
| Dobrinski, Rebecca | L |
| Donahue, Penny | L |
| Dost, Andy | W |
| Doty, Amy | W |
| Dougherty, Jenn | W |
| Douglas, Kim | L |
| Dunn, Barbara | L |
| Duthie, Holly | W |
| Dworkin, Peter | L |
| Dyer, Brandi | W |
| Eades, Ellen | L |
| Eastman-Kurtz, Molly | W |
| Eckert-Chu, Cori | W |
| Eckert, Elspeth | W |
| Eddy, Carrilee | L |
| Edelstein, Rob | L |
| Edington, Jillian | L |
| Ellis, Stephanie | L |
| Elterman, Shane | W |
| Epstein, Ava | L |
| Erwin, Robin | L |
| Espinosa, Andelee | W |
| Essid, Joe | L |
| Esterman, Sammi | W |
| Etessam, Yas | W |
| Everson, Bart | L |
| F, R | L |
| Fabiani, Angela | L |
| Falk, Harris | L |
| Fan, Esther | L |
| Farrell, Thomas | L |
| Farrington, Kelly | W |
| Fayerman, Jessica | L |
| Fears, Ashley | L |
| Felion, Jennifer | L |
| Ferrier, Sarah | L |
| Finkelstein, Liz | L |
| Finnegan, Sheila | L |
| Fintschenko, Pete | W |
| Fiore, Tony | W |
| Fischer, Molly | L |
| Fisher, Laura | L |
| Fisher, Stella | W |
| Fitter, Fawn | L |
| Flanagan, Dolores | W |
| Fletcher, Ben | L |
| Fletcher, Kari | L |
| Fletcher, Kristin | L |
| Flickinger, Megan | L |
| Flinn, Amanda | L |
| Flinn, Wes | L |
| Flynn, Colleen | L |
| Foreman, Tiffany | L |
| Forfia, Angela | L |
| Forst, Christina | L |
| Fox, Elizabeth | L |
| Francis, Kerri | W |
| Franck, Judith | W |
| Frank, Libby | L |
| Frank, Zilpha | L |
| Franzman, Amanda | L |
| Freeland, Heather | L |
| Freeman, Katie | L |
| Freeman, Pamela | W |
| Friedman, Cheryl | W |
| Friedman, Steve | L |
| Fristensky, Kathryn | L |
| Froemming, Kelly | L |
| Frye, Darrell | L |
| G-B, Lex | L |
| G, Robert | L |
| Gagnon, Joyce | L |
| Gainer, Renee | L |
| Gaither, Daigan | W |
| Galbos, Robyn | L |
| Galinson, Stephanie | L |
| Galles, Jill | L |
| Gallo, Charles | W |
| Galvan, Amy | W |
| Ganey, Sara | L |
| Gannon, Peggy | L |
| Ganz, Claudia | L |
| Garcia, Chel | W |
| Gardner, Rebecca | W |
| Gates, Karen | L |
| Gatlin, Cere | L |
| Giangrande, Tina | L |
| Gibbons, Honora | L |
| Gingrich, Alex | L |
| Gironella, Ninette | L |
| Glaser, Maureen | L |
| Glover, Linda | L |
| Go, Steve | W |
| Goetsch, Stephanie | L |
| Goldstein, Laurie | W |
| Gonzalez, Dj | W |
| Goodall, Pete | L |
| Goodwin, Kate | L |
| Gordon, Josh | W |
| Gordon, Roberta | L |
| Gorman, Steve | L |
| Goth, Silver | L |
| Gotthelf, Jenna | W |
| Grady, Robert | L |
| Grant, Kim | L |
| Graves, Jessica | L |
| Gray, Scott | L |
| Greco, Marissa | L |
| Green, Megan | L |
| Greene, Emily | L |
| Grieve, Kelly | L |
| Griffin, Karen | L |
| Gripman, Jen | L |
| Gripman, Stuart | L |
| Grocholski, Suzanne | L |
| Gualtieri, Jessika | L |
| Guthrie, Caroline | W |
| H, Anna | L |
| H, B | L |
| Hagel, Kate | L |
| Hahn, Madeleine | L |
| Hale, Jamie | L |
| Hamilton, Reid | L |
| Hanoka, Rachel | L |
| Hanses, Ben | L |
| Hanson, Colleen | W |
| Hardy, Susan | W |
| Hare, Sea | W |
| Harkins, Barbara | W |
| Harlin, Lafawne | L |
| Harris, Rebecca | W |
| Harrison, Shannon | L |
| Hart, Kristi | L |
| Hartford, Bev | L |
| Harvey, Larisa | W |
| Harvey, Sarah | W |
| Hatala, Tara | L |
| Hatch, Rollie | W |
| Haught, Megan | W |
| Hawkins, Eileen | L |
| Hawley, Rob | W |
| Hawley, Rob | W |
| Hawn, Matthew | W |
| Hayward, Cat | L |
| Head, Blender | W |
| Healy, Leona | L |
| Hearn, Rachel | W |
| Heck, Emily | W |
| Heidel, Amy | L |
| Helfen, Robert | L |
| Heller, Amos | L |
| Hendricks, Nettie | W |
| Hendrickson, Kathy | L |
| Henecke, Art | L |
| Herne, Bree | W |
| Herrington, Betsy | L |
| Herron, Kelly | L |
| Herron, Nancy | L |
| Hewitt, Aimee | L |
| Hight, Brian | L |
| Hill, Christine | L |
| Hilligoss, Amy | L |
| Hogan, Jenna | L |
| Holiday-O’Hara, Sybil | W |
| Hollister, Andrew | L |
| Holly, Miz | L |
| Holmes, Leslie | L |
| Hopkins, James | L |
| Hornyak, Jeff | W |
| Houlihan, Christopher | W |
| Howard, Aaron | W |
| Howell, Becca | L |
| Humphreys, Mary | L |
| Hunt, Melinda | L |
| Hurford, Terry | L |
| Husmann, Robyn | L |
| Husted, Cate | L |
| Husted, Rachel | L |
| Hutchinson, J | L |
| Hyland, Mary Pat | L |
| Hytowitz, Rebecca | L |
| Identifier, Unique | L |
| Isaacs, Charles | W |
| Isaacson, Peter | L |
| Ives, Brian | L |
| J, Amanda | L |
| Jackson, Barbara | L |
| Jackson, Ben | L |
| Jackson, Rae | L |
| Jacob, Lou | L |
| Jacob, Renae | L |
| Jacobson, Meredith | W |
| Jaitin, Gail | L |
| Jalbert, Alison | L |
| James, Suz | L |
| Janson, N | L |
| Jaress, Jc | W |
| Jarett, Jennifer | W |
| Jarrahzadeh, Jacky | L |
| Jenkins, Sarah | L |
| Jess, Dave | W |
| Johnson, Barbara | L |
| Johnson, Brian | W |
| Johnson, Peggy | L |
| Jones, Erin | L |
| Jones, Ray | L |
| Joseph, Jeff | L |
| Ju, Rena | W |
| Juhala, Jeff | W |
| Juhala, Laura | L |
| Juhala, Sabine | L |
| Juilfs, Deanne | L |
| Julie, Tegan | W |
| Juncker, Chandra | W |
| Kakos, Kristen | L |
| Kalinowski, Tricia | L |
| Kamin, Mir | W |
| Kamm, Lisa | L |
| Kaplan, Billy | L |
| Karish, Chuck | W |
| Kashuba, Ken | L |
| Kasler, Jo | L |
| Kelley, Carl | W |
| Kelly, Adam | L |
| Kelly, Courtney | L |
| Kelly, Jenny | W |
| Kelly, Kevin | L |
| Kelly, Maria | L |
| Kenfield, Micsh | L |
| Kennedy, Amanda | L |
| Kennedy, Mattie | W |
| Key, Sarah | W |
| Kh, Molly | L |
| Kief, Kristen | L |
| Kief, Kristen | L |
| Kilgore, Addie | W |
| Killian, William | L |
| Kincaid, Jaime | W |
| King, Kjell | L |
| Kirby, Jenn | L |
| Kitterman, Jim | L |
| Kittredge, John | L |
| Klein, Ed | L |
| Kohn, Tina | L |
| Kohn, Vicky | W |
| Kopperman, Leah | W |
| Kostalek, Jennifer | L |
| Kraiger, Michael | L |
| Kranyak, Margaret | L |
| Kunz, Nicole | L |
| L Parker, Carrie | L |
| Labaire, Jessica | W |
| Lachnit, Carroll | L |
| Lademann, Christine | L |
| Lane, Keith | L |
| Lang, Eleanor | W |
| Lara, Erin | L |
| Larrow, Gina | W |
| Larsen, Laura | L |
| Lawrence, Jamie | W |
| Lea, Brady | L |
| Leclair, Joe | W |
| Lee, Amanda | L |
| Lee, Anna Nicole | W |
| Lefton, Sarah | L |
| Leo, Jennifer | L |
| Lerner, Mark | W |
| Leslie, Diana | L |
| Leslie, Krissi | L |
| Leveridge, Brett | W |
| Leveridge, Shelley | L |
| Levine, Jonathan | W |
| Lewis, Charles | L |
| Liao, Jena | L |
| Lieber, Val | W |
| Lim, Jeena | L |
| Linder, Gretchen | W |
| Linger, Maria | W |
| Lint, Rj | L |
| Linville, Cindy | W |
| Lipner, Mia | L |
| Lisowski, Stefan | W |
| Loechner, Kevin | W |
| Loeffler, Carolyn | L |
| Loney, Rae | L |
| Long, David | L |
| Losey, Michelle | L |
| Loveland, Sheila | L |
| Lovinggood, Adam | L |
| Lucas, Wade | L |
| Lundsten, Betsy | L |
| Lutz, Ericka | W |
| Lyle, Pam | L |
| Lysne, Lisa | L |
| M, Anita | W |
| M, Jo | L |
| M, Mike | L |
| M., Carole | L |
| Macdonald, Angus | W |
| Macedo, Barbra | L |
| Mackenzie, Doug | W |
| Mackey, Jen | L |
| Mackinnon, Bryn | W |
| Macpherson, Kimberli | L |
| Madesclaire, Marine | L |
| Madison, Anne | L |
| Madzin, Kathleen | L |
| Maguire, Hattie | L |
| Mahar, Julia | L |
| Mailander, Melissa | W |
| Maine, Shanoah | L |
| Malcolm, Imogene | W |
| Malmros, Mary | W |
| Maloney, Sean | L |
| Manson, Tycho | L |
| Marracco, Muffy | L |
| Marshall, Laura | W |
| Martin, Noland | L |
| Martin, Zac | L |
| Maruca, Joseph | L |
| Marykuca, Brent | W |
| Masek, Shelli | L |
| Massey, Misty | L |
| Mayes, Donald | W |
| Mcadoo, Jenn | L |
| Mcalexander, Leslie | L |
| Mccabe, Heather | W |
| Mccartney, Tracey | L |
| Mccormick, Meg | L |
| Mccowan, Claudia | L |
| Mccreery, Cee | W |
| Mccullagh, Angie | L |
| Mccutchen, Devin | L |
| Mcdonald, Andrew | W |
| Mcdonald, Stef | L |
| Mcduff, Robin | L |
| Mcduff, Russ | W |
| Mcelroy, Jill | L |
| Mcgarry, Kate | W |
| Mcgarry, Mike | L |
| Mcgillicuddy, Carole | L |
| Mcginty, Joe | L |
| Mcgough, Tina | W |
| Mcgown, Shannon | L |
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| Mcgregor, Heather | L |
| Mcguire, Matt | L |
| Mcintyre, Chris | W |
| Mckeon, Kit | L |
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| Mcneely, Alvin | L |
| Mcnutt, Carol | W |
| Meacham, Ali | L |
| Meckler, Amelia | L |
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| Meister, E. | L |
| Melton, Holly | L |
| Melzer, Kam | W |
| Mendoza, Jeffrey | L |
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| Meyers, Lisa | L |
| Micha, Alyssa | L |
| Michals, Rebecca | L |
| Miera, Tom | W |
| Mignone, Bernadette | L |
| Miles, Heatherly | L |
| Miller, Don | W |
| Miller, Ken | L |
| Miller, Meg | L |
| Mitchell, Daphne | W |
| Mochari, Loren | W |
| Moers, Christine | L |
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| Monaco, Michael | L |
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| Moore, Matt | L |
| Moore, Megan | W |
| Morayati, Katherine | W |
| Morigeau, Christopher | L |
| Morrison, Cathy | L |
| Morse, Tracy | L |
| Mrowka, Gregg | L |
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| Mueller, Stacy | W |
| Mulhall, Suzanne | L |
| Mullen, Kile | L |
| Munn, Christy | W |
| Murphy, Eric | L |
| Murphy, Roy | L |
| Murray, Mark | L |
| Myers, Lex | W |
| Myers, Stacey | L |
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| Nahem, Ivan | L |
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| Nelson, Terri | L |
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| Neufeld, Jonathan | L |
| Newman, Stephanie | L |
| Nisbett, Bob | W |
| Noel, Morgan | L |
| Nolan, Mike | L |
| Nordstrom, Elizabeth | W |
| Nordstrom, Ron | W |
| Northend, Desiree | L |
| Nugent, Sharon | W |
| O’Cone, Trisha | L |
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| Olfers, Carey | W |
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| Pam, Qqtpie | L |
| Papalia, Alexis | L |
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| Parker, Nomi Joy | L |
| Partridge, Jennifer | W |
| Patchett, Kate | L |
| Patterson, Colleen | W |
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| Peck, Denise | L |
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| Peters, Toni-Maree | L |
| Peterson, Ryan | W |
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| Samuelson, Michael | W |
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| Sprawls, Jr | L |
| Stacy, Jamie Lynne | L |
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| Tetreault, Brian | L |
| Tevyaw, Christine | W |
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| Tingey, Janet | W |
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| Tropea, Danielle | L |
| Turiel, Josh | L |
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| Vandercar, Lisa | L |
| Vanmatre, Jennifer | L |
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| Velten, Lorri | L |
| Verneuille, Janet | L |
| Vernon, Joanna | L |
| Vertino, Dave | W |
| Visnov, Michael | L |
| Vogel, Elise | W |
| Volschenk, Donné | L |
| Von Ahn, Lisa | L |
| Von Esenwein, Silke | L |
| Vonasch, Andy | W |
| Voss, Michael | L |
| W, J | L |
| Wacknov, Stacey | W |
| Wagner, Betsy | L |
| Wagner, Essie | L |
| Wahl, Ferris | L |
| Wahl, Luke | W |
| Walker, Erik | L |
| Wallace, Meg | L |
| Ward, Robin | L |
| Ward, Terence | L |
| Ware, Minda Grace | L |
| Watts, Kelly | W |
| Webb, Barbara | L |
| Wegenka-Moretti, Melissa | L |
| Weller, Chris | W |
| Weller, Sherry | W |
| Wellhausen, Rachel | L |
| Wenk, Sarah | W |
| Wertz, Christine | L |
| Wessel Walker, Donna | W |
| Wessel Walker, Mary | L |
| Whitaker, Melissa | W |
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| White, Libby | L |
| Whitehead, Doug | L |
| Whitney, Max | L |
| Whitton, Audra | W |
| Wiedemann, Heidi | L |
| Wilber, Dave | W |
| Wilcott, Lynn | L |
| Wilcox, Janey | L |
| Williams, Katie | L |
| Williams, Michelle | W |
| Willis, Danielle | L |
| Wilson Hall, Bridget | W |
| Wilson, Molly | L |
| Winger, Melissa | L |
| Wingfield, Amber | L |
| Wingo, Bronwyn | L |
| Winter, Stacy | W |
| Winters, Ashley | L |
| Wirth, Diane | W |
| Wise, Newton | W |
| Wojick, Jane | W |
| Wolfe, Alex | L |
| Wolfisch Cole, Terry | L |
| Wood, Shane | W |
| Woodruff, Katie | L |
| Woods, Mary | L |
| Wright, Diana | W |
| Wuellner, Jane | L |
| X, Joey | L |
| Yarrow, Paul | W |
| Yee, Ken | L |
| Yoder, Patrick | L |
| Young, Amanda | L |
| Zevin, Richie | L |
| Zezzo, Nicole | L |
Little Drummer Boy Challenge 
yo where do winners report in? I WON!
Hie thee to the reporting form, Chris: http://bit.ly/LDBCform
Too many snakes. GOMD!!!!