Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2016

 Robot Santa

So here we are, with another year and another game rapidly shrinking in our rear-view mirror, fellow LDBCers. And sometimes it seems as if we’re well rid of both, as if they were particularly cruel.

That’s because they were. As in, Robot-Santa-raining-hell-upon-all-below cruel. For starters, we kicked 2016 off by losing one of the patron saints of the game, the late and truly great David Bowie. (And I’m not saying that lightly. The man was one of my creative heroes, and I actually like his duet with Der Bingle quite a bit, lethal as it is year in and year out.) Never mind the others who left us as the year went on. (And I won’t name any more. This thing of ours is about helping us to forget our woes, not enumerate them. Besides, you know them as well as I do.)

The New Year, 2016, turned against us. And then Christmas did, too. Yes, it’s true that we added a healthy helping of new players, passing the 3,800 mark on the Facebook page this year. And it’s also true that a greater percentage of us remained healthy this year than did so in 2015 (the percentage of winners rising from 24 to 28). However, the doom continued to find us in new ways, from new sources.

The This Is Us holiday episode slew a good number of LDBCers whose only sin was to seek out quality network drama. The Real O’Neals, seeing that, felt the need to get in on the action and followed suit. Indie-film darling Wes Anderson decided to do some artful bloodletting while getting handsomely paid for it by the evil H&M. Jennifer Nettles and Idina Menzel suckered their country fans by sneaking The Boy onto the Country Music Awards, accompanied by a little kid whose dancing made for one of the most infuriating ways to lose the game in 2016. Even Crusoe the Celebrity Dachsund took a chunk out of somebody.

Crusoe the Celebrity Dachsund

Crusoe the Celebrity Dachsund

And that’s not to mention the standard villains who betray and slay us on an annual basis. They were all heard from again: Reindeer Games, Pee-wee Herman and Grace JonesAmerican Horror StoryWill Ferrell and his misbegotten SNL Christmas special, and our friends at NPR, who did in scores of the faithful with their bumper music whether the listeners had contributed to their local pledge drives or not. Loyal friends found themselves six feet under before they’d even noticed the first spade of dirt headed their way. Photoshop fiend James Barnett, the man behind the marvelous movie-parody posters with which we announce the coming o’ The Boy, ate it after years of easy wins. (As much as I love the man, however, he was getting a bit cocky, so perhaps it’ll do his attitude some good in the long run.)

A Summer Place

[H/T Mrs. LDBC]

Let’s face it: the holidays are too damn violent. Every year, we vanquish the kid. And every year, it costs us dearly. Yet come late November, we take up the fight anew. It’s sort of like we’re all Westworld hosts, and The Boy is The Man in Black. Only it’s drumsticks instead of a knife and gun. And he’s not nearly as good an actor as Ed Harris. And we’re already well aware of how many times we’ve died, so nobody needs to clue us in.

The Man in Black

The Man in Black

OK, so maybe it’s not like Westworld at all. Maybe it’s more Stranger Things. The Boy is that petal-faced monster from an H.R. Giger scratchpad, and too many of us are Barb.

I don’t know, people. I’ve had a lot of caffeine today. What I do know is that this year brought us some new wrinkles, too—chief among them the “Hoist with His Own Petard” rule, which holds that anyone who intentionally tries to take you out is themselves out, no matter how much they try to claim they’re not playing. Bullies must be bludgeoned, bashed, and bedeviled, and that rule goes a long way toward that end.

Nettles, Menzel, and some thoroughly irritating child

Nettles, Menzel, and some thoroughly irritating child

Personally, it was a good game. Mrs. LDBC and I both won again, mostly because we’re shut-ins and have alienated anyone who ever would have invited us anywhere. On the invitation flip-side, however, I was asked back by the good folks at Good Day Sacramento, who have been kind enough to tolerate my nonsense at least once a season for several seasons running now.

So it wasn’t all bad. It just seemed that way while we were skulking about, living in terror.

A few other things to note: I added a new chart this year to show what percentages of victims were taken down in which week (below). Nothing earth-shattering was revealed, but it’ll be fun to keep an eye on that in the future. The aforementioned Bing and Bowie continued to rule the roost in terms of claiming the most victims. And Harry Simeone was consistent as well. Location-wise, fewer people fell victim at home compared with those who went down in the car, at live events, and in other external locales this year vs. last year.

The takeaway: you people get out of the house too much.

So that’s it, friends. Once again, we close out remembering our First Fallen. This year, it was the unfortunate Mike Misch. (For Mike!) May it be no one at all next year, but we know that’s not going to happen. Still, we’ll kindle the flame of hope come next Black Friday, and start the annual struggle all over again.

A very Happy and Healthy 2017 to all of you, veterans and newcomers alike. As much of a goof as this thing is, you vastly improve and brighten our holiday season with your enthusiasm, your posts, your form-filling, and your LDBC-elfies (below).

And let us all say: puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people. See you in November.

Restaurant Martin, 1906

The Quick and the Dead

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Comes a Time

2016 Losses by Week

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

John Alston – L
I went out like Elvis.

Scarlett Anderson – L

I said “fuck” in front of a customer when it came on.

Bonita (Beth) Applebaum (Grodis) – W

My daughter is a little turd who tried to sabotage my win, so I took one of her Christmas presents back. Teach them young.

Carolynn Campbell – W

Key to winning: stay out of New Jersey.

Matt Carson – L

Boss was walking around the office handing out gifts with music playing on his phone. I’m a freelancer and so did not receive a gift.

Holly Duthie – W

It pays to avoid humans and the places where they gather.

Sebastian Forst – W

I’m 8, and I’m the only one in the family who won!

Michael Jacobs – L

I’m not surprised. 2016 just hasn’t been a good year in any respect.

Polly Law – L

When I realized what was on the audio system, I exclaimed, “I’ve been killed!” rather loudly. Probably not the best idea, as there was an armed police officer in line to get his morning coffee standing nearby. A rather minor kerfuffle ensued.

Andrew McDonald – L

As soon as I got into the car, I heard the damn boy and swore aloud. The driver looked at me funny. I told him I just lost the LDBC. His response: “It’s a nice song; try to enjoy it.”

Lynn Sebrell – W

I drink from the Keg of Glory! Bring me the finest eggnog and fruitcake in all the land!

Molly Shira – L

I managed to refrain from shouting, “Fuck!” in a crowded theater.

Sara Starkowski – W

As a professional elf in retail, Christmas parties, parades, and any place where holiday spirit is required, I never expected to make it! I am beyond amazed at this Christmas miracle. Santa was thrilled. He was taken out early.

Anne Timberlake – L

Country music in the car is my guilty pleasure. This time around the guilty drummed out the pleasure.

George Timms – W

Do you think I can put this on my CV?

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Flinn, WesW

Name Result
Jacqui W
Karen L
Mc Peg L
A., Barbara L
A1, Ben L
Abbott, Edward W
Abel, Dana L
Abel, Tricia L
Achauer, Allison L
Acosta, Rachel L
Adair, David L
Adams, Christoph W
Adler, Ellyn W
Admirand, Meghan L
Admirand, Peggy L
Albans, Dylan W
Aldrich Smith, Allison L
Allen-Hall, Olivia L
Allen, MJ W
Allmer, Christina W
Alsdorf, Greggory L
Alston, John L
Althoff, Drew L
Altman, Laurie L
Altreuter, Bill L
Ammerman, Amy W
Amrhein, Justin W
Amrhein, Michele L
Anastasia, Shandielle L
Anderberg, Kat L
Anderson, Chantale L
Anderson, Claire L
Anderson, Emily L
Anderson, JB W
Anderson, Scarlett L
Anderson, Sue L
Andrews, Lisa L
Andrews, Marcus W
Ann, Beth L
Anselmo, Barbara L
Anthony, Kathy L
Aplin, Carol L
Appel, Kris L
Applebaum (Grodis), Bonita (Beth) W
Arden, Liz W
Ardizzone, Marc W
Arnold, Karen L
Ashkenaz, Scott L
Ashley, Robyn L
Atcheson, Catherine L
Austin, Amy L
Austin, Karen L
Ayer, Katy L
B from 317, Charles L
B., Alf L
B., Andrew L
B., J. W
B., Kris W
B., Matt L
B., Morg L
B., Ryan L
Baange, Eugie W
Babcock, Jenna L
Bachs, Rhedde L
Bacon, Sarah W
Baiyor, Patricia L
Baker, Gretchen L
Baker, Heather L
Baker, Jamie W
Balke, David L
Baltes, Scott W
Banks, Stacie L
Barber, Paula W
Barish, Mike W
Barker, Craig L
Barker, Jennifer W
Barnett, James L
Barr, Loel L
Bassett, Kim L
Bassi, Laura L
Batchelor, Rhonda L
Bates, Leslie L
Baucom, Janet L
Bauer, Renee W
Beachy, Doug L
Beachy, Susan W
Beckley, Lisa L
Belland, Julie L
Benedetto, Anna L
Bennett, Angela L
Bentley, Dawn W
Berg, Maren W
Berg, Stephen L
Bergstrom, Sarah W
Berne, Jennifer W
Berrones, Lisa L
Berry-Kagan, Lauren L
Berry, Davis L
Betts, Janet L
Betty, Isaac L
BH, Sooshe L
Bianchi, Emma L
Biando, Becky W
Bichsel, Stefanie W
Biddlecomb, Susan L
Biggins, Nancy L
Bingham, Craig W
Birkemeier, Glenn L
Bishop, Spider L
Black, Alan W
Blackburn, Barak W
Blackburn, Robin W
Blackford, Andrea L
Blackler, Kelly W
Blakeslee, Jennifer L
Blanchard, Jan L
Blankenship, Erin L
Bodie, Jen W
Body, David L
Bogan, Bobbie L
Bogan, Emily W
Boni, Paul W
Bonnet, Gordon W
Borchardt, Jennifer W
Borck, Jeffrey W
Boschee, Lynne L
Bowen, Daryl L
Bowers, Justin L
Boyle, Keri W
Bracebridge, Tory W
Bradburn, Sophie L
Braganza, Desiree W
Braine, Bill L
Bremer, Gloria L
Bremer, Grant L
Brewer, Alexandra L
Bright, Brandi L
Brilliant, Sarah L
Brilz, Erik L
Brittain, Lucretia W
Britten, Bob W
Broner, Jacqueline L
Brook, Steve W
Brooks, Steel L
Brookshaw, Chip L
Brown, Charlie L
Brown, Earl L
Brown, Jessica L
Brown, Lisa L
Brown, Mary Jo L
Brown, Michele L
Browning, Heather L
Brubaker, James L
Brundage, Patrick L
Brunson, Terri L
Bryer, Amy L
Bubier, Jadon W
Bui, Emily L
Bulthuis, Anna L
Bunce, Renshin L
Burgess, Amy L
Burkart, Melissa L
Burkhardt, Amy L
Burnand, Lisa L
Burns, Margo L
Burns, Maura L
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Will L
Byers, Rob L
Byrne, Brian L
C-B, Holly W
C., Brenda L
C., Mary L
C., Nichole L
Cain, Fonda L
Calhoun, Ivan W
Call, Christine L
Campbell, Carolynn W
Campbell, Deb L
Capers, Cindy L
Carbonell, Nancy L
Carpenter, Rebecca L
Carr, Dennis W
Carroll, Katherine L
Carson, Matt L
Carter, Stuart L
Caruso, Sarah W
Carvajal, Alejandra L
Carvalho, Lisa L
Case, Holly L
Caston, Casey L
Cazares, George L
Ceva, Claudia L
Chandler, Trey W
Chavez, Ermando W
ChocolateMilk, Patty L
Christensen, Julie W
Chubon, Cindy W
Church, Lisa L
Churchill-Danis, Jessica L
Cicero, Donna L
Cicero, Morgan L
Cinderflame, Patrick L
Claire, Andrew L
Clark, Jenie L
Clarke, Chelsea L
Clemons, Heather L
Cleveland, Rachel L
Cline, Cindy L
Coffey, Lea Ann L
Cohen, Jay L
Cohen, Joseph L
Cohen, Kate W
Colbert, Janie L
Colbourne, Kymberli L
Colby, A. L
Cole, Casey W
Cole, Emily L
Collesano, Michael L
Colon, Yvette W
Cone, Justina L
Conger-Henry, Jess L
Connelly, Irene W
Connolly, Cyndi L
Conrad, Stephen W
Cook, Amanda W
Cook, Jay W
Cook, Ron L
Cooper, Jason L
Cooper, Robin L
Corden, John W
Cornelio, Karen L
Cornish, Scott L
Covington, Celia L
Craddock, Jo L
Crawford, Mindy W
Creamer, Duncan L
Creech, Cynthia L
Crosby, Tyler L
Crowe, Jessie L
Crowley, Joe W
Cruz, Tina W
Culp, David W
Cummings, Dan W
Cummins, Jean L
Cummins, Kirsten L
Cunningham, Catherine W
Cunningham, Stephanie L
Current, Rebecca W
Curro, Christy L
Curtis, Tammy L
D., Alice L
D., Jason L
Dailing, Paul L
Daley, Liz L
Danforth, Mary L
Daniel, David L
Daniell, Ripp L
Dark, Stephanie L
Dasher, Christina L
Dasher, Joshua L
Davenport, August L
Davis Couling, Angela L
Davis, Jonathan L
Davis, Tina L
DeAngelo, Keri L
Dee, Amy L
Dejesus, Crystal L
DelPonte, Katie W
DeMange, Mary L
DeMattia, Bill L
Deming, Susan L
Denchy, Ruth L
Denehie, Elizabeth W
Dennison, Ian L
Dennison, Reid L
Design, Factory 1 L
DeSimone, Mickie L
Desmarais, Barbara W
Devine, Roger W
Diamond, Joshua W
Dimitri, C. Robert W
DiStefano, Laura L
Dixon, Anne L
Dobbertean, Chris W
Doberstein, Anne L
Dobrinski, Rebecca W
Doering, Susan L
Doherty, Dawn L
Donahue, Penny L
Donovan, Jessica L
Dorsey, Chantelle L
Dost, Andy L
Doty, Amy L
Doty, Charity L
Dougherty, Jennifer W
Douglas, Jeanene L
Douglas, Kim L
Downing, Thom L
Draper, Dave L
Drewry, Elizabeth W
Dumlao, Justin L
Duncan, Stephanie L
Dunn, Barbara L
Durham, Mary Frank L
Durham, Murphy L
Durish, Tiffany L
Duthie, Holly W
E., Roya L
Eckert-Chu, Corrin L
Eddy, Carrilee L
Eddy, Kelly L
Edelstein, Robert L
Edmands, Marsha L
Egleton, Simon W
Elias, Justine L
Ellis, Stephanie L
Elmore, Steve L
Eppich Catlin, Katherine W
Erwin, Don L
Essid, Joe W
Esterman, Sammi L
Evans, Patrick W
Eynouf, Erica W
Fadness, Jessica L
Farrell, Thomas L
Fartman, Arthur L
Fasimpaur, Andi W
Febres, Iris L
Feeney, James L
Fenimore, Suzanne W
Fermenich, Justin L
Fernandez, Julia L
Finkelstein, Andrea W
Finkelstein, Liz L
Finn, Christine W
Finnegan, Sheila L
Finnell, David L
Finnell, Erin L
Fintschenko, Pete L
Fischer, Matt W
Fischer, Molly L
Fitter, Fawn L
Fitze, Hannah L
Fitzgerald, Mark L
Fitzgerald, Scott L
Flanagan, Dolores W
Flanagan, Sam W
Fleming, Lucy W
Fletcher, Kristin L
Fletcher, Ben W
Fletcher, Kari L
Flyn, Colleen L
Flynn, Terri L
Ford, Jeannette L
Forfia, Angela W
Forst, Christina L
Forst, Sebastian W
Forstater, Ann L
Fox, Lizzie W
Foxworthy, Brandee L
Franck, Judith W
Frank, Libby L
Frank, Zilpha W
Frasher, Doug L
Frederick, Alyssa W
Freeman, Pamela L
Fremont, Lynne L
French, Dani L
Friedman, Cheryl L
Friedman, LeeAnn L
Froehlich, Marianne L
Froemming, Kelly L
Frye, Darrell L
Fuller, Lori W
G., Sarah L
G., Susan L
G., Walker L
Gaither, Daigan W
Galinson, Steph L
Gallagher, John W
Galles, Jill L
Galletti, Natalie L
Ganz, Claudia W
Garcia, Chel W
Garcia, Martha W
Garcia, Rudy L
Gardner, Rebecca L
Garrison, Randi L
Gates, Amber L
Gatlin, Cere L
Gelineau, Matt W
Giangrande, Tina L
Gibbs-Ruby, Kristina L
Gilbert, Jennifer W
Gilmore, Mary E L
Gilson, Carly L
Gironella, Ninette L
Goldman – van nostrand, Lisa L
Gonzalez, DJ L
Goodall, Pete W
Goodman, Nate L
Gordon, Jenny W
Gorrie, Wendy W
Grady, Robert W
Gray, Iris L
Green, Megan L
Greene, Emily W
Gregorio, Gina L
Gregory, Tyler L
Greiner, Michael L
Grengs, Dayna L
Grieve, Kelly L
Griffiths, Amanda L
Griggs, Linda L
Grove, Pamela W
Gruchalla, Lorien L
Gudzikowski Jacobs, Laura L
Gunning, Emma W
Gustafson, Donna L
Guterman, Lila L
H., Erin W
Habashy, Renee L
Hadley, Wendy W
Hahn, Madeleine L
Hailey, Meredith L
Haire, Grace W
Hamilton, Reid L
Hanlan, Karen W
Hanses, Ben L
Hanson, April L
Harkin, Loren L
Harkins, Barbara L
Harmon, Heather L
Harris, Matthew W
Harris, Meggie L
Harris, Nancy W
Harrison, Darcy W
Hartman, Genevieve L
Harvey, Larisa L
Hatala, Tara L
Hatch, Rollie L
Hatcher, Cody L
Hauser, Jim L
Hawkins, Dillon L
Hawley, Rob L
Hawn, Matthew W
Hawn, Molly L
Hayes, Holly W
Hays, Bre L
Hayward, Catherine L
Hazel, Anna Samantha L
Hazel, Heather L
Hddn, Jeff L
Headly, Anna W
Heaney, Tim W
Heck, Emily W
Heller, June L
Helms, Alyc L
Henderson, Fiona L
Hendron, Samantha L
Hennessey, Christina L
Henson, Karen W
Henson, Brian W
Henson, Lisa L
Hermanson, Dalea L
Herne, Bree L
Hess, Andrew W
Hess, Janet L
Hess, Jen L
Hesse, Peter L
Hicks, Kenny L
Hight, Brian L
Hill, Christine W
Hindman, Joyce L
Hiott, Jenna L
Hoang, Meredith W
Hochman, Eric W
Hockett, Rachel L
Hockett, Rose Ann W
Hodgson, Julia L
Holcomb, Mike L
Holcombe, M. L
Holler, Steve L
Hollingsworth, Janet L
Hopkins, James L
Hornyak, Jeff L
Horton, Matthew L
Houlihan, Christopher L
Howard, Aaron W
Howlett, Niki L
Hubbard, Nathan W
Hubbard, Shelby L
Huber, Joanna L
Hufford, Amy L
Hughes, Justine W
Hugo, Heather L
Hunter, Joanna L
Hutton, Sheryl L
Hytowitz, Rebecca L
Igoe, Tom W
Ives, Brian L
Ivicek, Victoria W
J., Laura L
Jacob, Renae L
Jacobs, Michael L
Jacobson, Meredith L
Jaitin, Gail L
Jalbert, Alison L
Jaress, JC L
Jenkins, Sarah L
Jeromin, Amanda L
Johnson, Barb L
Johnson, Brian L
Johnson, Daryl L
Johnson, Gary W
Johnson, Kim L
Johnston, Maura W
Jolliffe, Meghan L
Jones, Karen L
Jones, April W
Jones, Brad L
Jones, Tracy W
Jordan, Alison L
Joseph, Jeff L
Judge, Sere-nah W
Juhala, Jeff L
Juncker, Chandra W
K., J. W
Kaatz, David W
Kalinowski, Tricia L
Kamin, Hester L
Kamm, Lisa L
Kaplan, Steve W
Kaplounenko, Igor L
Karst, Laura L
Kashi, Edva L
Kashuba, Ken L
Kealey, EM L
Kelleher, Desiree L
Kelly, Adam L
Kelly, Kevin W
Kenfield, Melissa L
Kenslea, Matt L
Kern, Desiree L
Khan, Kamal L
Kief, Jacob W
Kief, Kristen L
Kief, Tom W
Kilgore, Addie L
King, Brendan L
Kleinhenz, Jennifer L
Klohn, Liz L
Klouse, Jennifer L
KM, Lindsay W
Kohn, Tina L
Kohn, Vicky W
Kook, Christina W
Kopperman, Leah W
Kraiger, Michael L
Kranyak, Margaret L
Kreidler, Scott W
Krohn, Steven W
Kuhn, Julia L
Kunz, Nicole L
Kurth, Rebekah L
L., Carrie W
L., Jason L
L., Katrina L
L., Melina L
Lademann, Christine L
Lake-Corral, Lorien W
Landers-King, Letitia L
Landow, Jeff L
Landow, Meg L
Lane, Keith L
Lane, Mikey W
Lang, Kerry L
Lank, Madeline L
Lannan, Hillary L
Lara, Erin L
Larsen, Laura L
Larson, Natalie L
Lastname, Janet L
Laurie, Brigid L
Lauriston, Robert L
Law, Polly L
Lawson, Emily L
Lawson, Jen W
Laxson, Shawn W
LDBC, Mother L
Lebowsky, Beth L
LeClair, Joe W
Lee, Lori L
Lee, Michal W
Lee, Nicole W
Lee, Roger W
Lefton, Sarah L
Leftwich, James L
Leo, Jennifer W
Lerner, Edith L
Lerner, Mark L
Leslie, Diana L
Leslie, Michael L
Leveridge, Brett L
Levitan, Stacy W
Levy, Susie W
Lewis, Karl L
Lichtenberg, Robyn L
Light, Paula L
Lim, Jeena L
Linder, Gretchen L
Lindsey, Amanda W
Linger, Zed W
Linville, Cindy L
Loechner, Kevin L
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Long, David L
Losey, Michelle L
Loveland, Sheila L
Lucas, Marc L
Lucas, Wade W
Lutz, Ericka W
Lynch, Rebecca L
Lynde, Jerry L
Lyon, Kammy W
Lysne, Lisa L
M., Rachel L
Macaulay, Jillian L
Macedo, Barbra L
Mackay, Kenneth L
MacKenzie, Doug L
MacKinnon, Bryn L
Madesclaire, Marine W
Madzin, Kathleen L
Maguire, Lindsay L
Mailander, Melissa L
Maine, Shanoah L
Majewski, Katherine L
Malmros, Mary L
Maloney, Sean L
Manson, Tycho L
Marco, Natasha L
Marlowe, Monica L
Marracco, Muffy W
Marron, John W
Marsden, Malcolm L
Marsh, Holly W
Marshall, Laura L
Martin, Jessica L
Masek, Shelli W
Massey, Misty L
Matura, Allison L
Maxsween, John L
McCafferty, Mindi L
McCain, Billie W
McCann, Barney W
McClure, Brandi L
McCollum, Christina W
McDaniel, Sam L
McDonald, Stacey L
McDonald, Andrew L
McDonald, Stef L
McDuff, Russ W
McEwen, Clint L
McGillicuddy, Carole L
McGinty, Joe W
McGraw, Deb L
McGregor, Heather W
McGrory, Phoebe W
McIntyre, Chris W
McKeehan, Amy L
McKeon, Kit L
McKiernan, Lori L
McKinley, Nation L
McLaughlin, Patrick W
McMahon, Kassie L
McManus, Carole L
McNeely, Alvin W
McNutt, Carol L
Medina, Jen L
Medina, Trish W
Meister, Just W
Mellinger, Bo L
Melton, Holly L
Melton, Mike L
Melton, Morgan L
Meluch, JP L
Mendelsohn, Julianna L
Merckel, Bob W
Meredith, Elizabeth W
Mertzman, Karen L
Mewha, Darren L
Michals, Rebecca L
Middleton, Drew L
Miera, Tom L
Mignone, Bernadette L
Milbrath, Philip W
Miles, Heather L
Miller, Claire L
Miller, Don L
Miller, Jesse L
Miller, Russ W
Minson, Kate L
Mirenda, Kristen W
Misch, Mike L
Mitchell, Shannon L
Mochari, Loren L
Moers, Christine L
Mokler, Linda L
Moncrief, Megan W
Moore, Julia L
Moore, Marcia L
Moore, Megan L
Morayati, Katherine W
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morris, Kay L
Morris, Todd L
Morrison, Cathy W
Morrow, Melissa L
Morse, Tracy L
Moses, Kim L
Motta, Katie W
Mrowka, Gregg L
Mueller, Heidi L
Mueller, Stacy L
Mufson, Stacey L
Mullen, Kile L
Munn, Christy L
Murdock, Liz W
Murphy, Heather L
Murphy, Lillian L
Murphy, Roy W
Myers-Bagent, Stacey W
Myers, Jessie L
Natalie, John L
Nay, Lyle W
Nedderman, Erika L
Neidhardt, Steve W
Neulist, Nicolle L
Newhouse, Pam L
Newman, Christine W
Newman, Heather W
Newman, Stephanie L
Ng, Panda L
Nisbett, Bob W
Nolan, Mike L
Noon, Frances W
Nordstrom, Elizabeth L
Nordstrom, Ron L
Norris, Caitlin L
Northrop, Stephanie L
Norton, Shana W
Nothnagel, Mike L
November, Sharyn L
O’Donnell, Mary L
O’Hagan, Mickey L
O’Shields, Beth L
ODeen, Paddy L
Olfers, Carey L
Olsen, Kate L
Olson, Julie L
ONeill, Christy W
Orlando, Kristin W
Orozco, Tatiana L
Orr, Amy L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Orzoff, Andrea L
Ostrow, Rachel L
Oswalt, Sandi L
Owens, Ed W
P., Brett L
P., Jill L
P., Michael L
P., Nicole L
Padgett, Ray L
Pal, Len L
Pants, Nancy L
Papalia, Alexis L
Pascual, Chloé L
Patterson, Colleen W
Paximadis, Lori L
Payes, Robert L
Peck, Gayle L
Peck, Larry L
Peck, Maya L
Peck, Michael W
Pellissier, Denise L
Pendleton, Stompee L
Percy, Allie L
Perry, Kelly L
Perry, Lisa L
Perry, Shawnee L
Peters, Toni-Maree L
Peters, Joseph L
Peters, Parker L
Peterson, Nancy W
Pew, Esther L
Pfeiffer, Karl L
Philipp, Elijah W
Phillips, Lauren W
Picardo, Cheyenne L
Pietsch, Janet L
Pinsonault, Diane W
Pirri-Lee, M’elle L
Plaisted, Susie W
Polanski, Rollin W
Poling, Fred L
Polk, Christopher W
Polman, Lynn L
Porter, Brett L
Porter, Melanie W
Pound, Mike L
Parent, Michael L
Prentice, Kim L
Prentice, David L
Printz, Irit W
Proulx, Jesse W
Pryor, Joanne L
PT, Amy L
Purvis, SK L
Quillon, Anna W
Quinn, Dana L
R., Jane W
R., Khajha L
Radding, Reuben L
Radding, Wendy L
Ramina, Matt L
Rea, Laura L
Reardon-Mulhall, Suzanne W
Redman, Emily W
Reed, Tammey L
Reichman, Dana W
Reid, Mary L
Reiss, Randy L
Remigi, Gabriella L
Renfro, Rebecca L
Renn, Max W
Reno, Susan L
Renzulli, Linda L
Reznek, Abby W
Reznek, Karen L
Rice, Jamie L
Richardson, Tehemina L
Richter, Betsy W
Richter, Marc L
Riley, Kathleen L
Rivera, Cynthia L
Roberts, Christy L
Roberts, Laurie L
Robichaux, Julie L
Robinson, Chris W
Rogal, Dawn L
Rogers, Jacinta L
Rollans, Scott W
Ronca, Debra L
Rose, Erykah W
Rose, Alec L
Rose, Mandy W
Ross, Janna L
Roth Smith, Dawn L
Roth, Amy L
Rouse, Gretchen L
Rowland II, Rick L
Rubenking, Kelsey L
Runde, Jenny L
Rusher, Alice L
Russell, Kat L
Ruzich, Christian L
Rykoff, Amanda L
S., Beth L
S., Carolyn L
S., Drew L
S., Flori L
S., Nusia L
S., Samantha L
S., Sarah W
Sacchi, Christine L
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Sakai, Katy L
Sakai, Shuji L
Salvador, Phil L
Samson, Phil L
Samuelson, Jenny L
Samuelson, Michael W
Sandusky, Sarah L
Satre, William L
Savinski, Karen L
Scarlato, Tracy L
Schaefer, Rebecca L
Schaeffer, Julie L
Scheer, Alttara W
Schmeling, Aaron W
Schmeling, Kristin W
Schumacher, Ashton L
Schwarer, Sandy L
Schwartz, Michael L
Schwinke, Theo W
Sciuchetti, Robyn L
Sciullo, Allison L
Scodel, Ruth W
Scott, Ryan L
Seaver, W.A. L
Sebrell, Lynn W
Segall, Margaret W
Settlemire, Jaclyn L
Sexton, Drew W
Seymour, Lindy W
Shanahan, Virginia L
Sharpe, Martha L
Shea, Kelly L
Shengold, Nina L
Shine, Amy W
Shira, Molly L
Shollenberger, Lee Ann L
Short, Jeff L
Shorthill, Amber L
Shupe, Tara L
Sieve, Shawn L
Silva, Melissa L
Silverman, Riley L
Simmer II, David W
Singel, Ellen L
Skinner, Claire L
Skochko, Julia L
Skochko, Sarah L
Sladen, Jane L
Slavin, Mike L
Smith, A. L
Smith, Amy L
Smith, Arthur L
Smith, Ben W
Smith, Cathryn L
Smith, Cathy L
Smith, Emma L
Smith, Lisa L
Smith, Matthew L
Smith, Maurice L
Smith, Randy L
Smith, Tracy L
Smitheman, Rachel L
Smotherman, Katie L
Smrcka, Carolyn W
Snell Nachtsheim, Joyce W
Snyder, Jenn L
Solliday, Jo L
Solovay, Andrew L
Sorenson, Greg L
Spa, Tamara W
Spencer, Joy L
Sprague Frederiksen, Lucy W
Starkowski, Sara W
Stebbins, Kerri Anne L
Stebbins, Matt L
Steinhauer, Art W
Stephens, Nicole W
Stern, Lexi L
Stevens, Andy L
Stewart, Laurel L
Stewart, Mo L
Stewart, Rebekah L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stomberg, Amy W
Stoneburner, Ann W
Strand, Tunafish L
Stringer, John L
Subers, Libby L
Subers, Ruth W
Sullivan, Bob L
Sullivan, Cara L
Sullivan, Jason W
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, Kate W
Sullivan, Rebecca W
Summer, Esther L
Sussman, Anne L
Swakow, Jim L
Swanner, Alex L
Sweeney, Virginia L
Swiecki, Msria W
Taber, Katie W
Tansey, Morgan L
Tappan, Stacey L
Tarabour, Lucy L
Taylor, Julie W
Taylor, Hadley L
Taylor, Jack L
Taylor, Kimberly L
Taylor, Laura L
Taylor, Meredith L
Terpstra, Deb L
Terpstra, Rick L
Tetreault, Brian L
Tevyaw, Christine W
The_Slack, Josh L
Thew, Drea L
Thmp, Thmp L
Thom, Craig W
Thom, Neil L
Thomas, Ben L
Thomas, Billie L
Thomas, Cathy L
Thomas, Leila W
Thompson, Troy W
Thompson, Ashley L
Thompson, Julie L
Thorne, Shannon W
Timberlake, Anne L
Timms, George W
Tingey, Janet L
Trobaugh, Phillip L
Troilo, Jessica L
Trott, Natalie L
Turiel, Josh L
Turmell, Tom L
Turner, Sarah L
Umbaugh, Bruce L
Underhill, Amanda W
Underwood, Madison L
Valizan, Rob L
Van Voorhis, Kathy L
Van Voorhis, Steven L
Vandermark, Bill L
Vanmatre, Jennifer L
Vassar, Matt L
Velez, Julie W
Venuto, Marisa L
Vercillo, Jeremy L
Vermeers, Chris W
Vermut, Absinthia L
Verna, Kathryn L
Vertino, Dave L
Vollman, Gretchen L
W., Kim L
W., Pam L
Wacknov, Stacey W
Wagner, Essie L
Wagner, Karl L
Wagner, Vicki W
Wahl, Ferris L
Walden, Lara L
Walker, Erin L
Walker, Rebekah L
Walz, Lauren L
Wangmo, Shardröl W
Ward, Robin L
Ward, Terence L
Ware, Minda Grace L
Watts, Kelly W
Weagle, Corinne W
Webb, Barbara L
Weber, Kendra L
Weller, Sherry L
Wenk, Sarah L
Wessel Walker, Donna L
Wessel Walker, Mary L
Whipple, L’Rae L
White, Brian L
White, Libby L
Wiedemann, Heidi L
Wiener, Linda W
Wiese, Jodi L
Wilcott, Lynn L
Wilcox, Michele L
Willett, Lindsay W
Williams, Adam W
Williams, Harold L
Williams, Katie L
Williams, Nancy L
Wills, Allie L
Wills, Carroll L
Wilson, Jennifer L
Wilson, Molly L
Winand, Theodore L
Wingfield, Amber L
Winslow, Jack W
Winter, Stacy W
Wishengrad, Paul L
Witt, Michelle L
Wojick, Jane L
Wolf, Diane L
Wolfe, Pierrette L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Wong, Katie L
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Mary L
Woolard, Taylor L
Wright, Alana L
Wright, Diana L
Wright, Sarah L
Wright, Tracey L
Wuollet-Anderson, Lindsey L
Wyble, Megan L
Wyman, Kendall L
X., Joey W
Yaller, Josie L
Yoder, Patrick L
Young, Amanda L
Young, Shelle L
Z., Michael W
Zimmermann, Alix L
Zions, Jason L

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2015

Faceless_Dog_O

Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us.

Walt Kelly, June 1953

Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, fellow LDBCers—the enemy is The Boy. That jerky kid is a lunatic, and it’s all we can do to stay away from him when he gets the way he does.

But the truth is, he is largely faceless and can look like just about anyone. The more disturbing truth is that he often looks like friends, loved ones or—yes—us. It’s all a matter of who cranks up that holiday playlist that’s “totally safe, so don’t worry.” (And how creepy is that little dog ornament above, by the way? Eagle-eyed Mrs. LDBC spotted the poor fella abandoned on a window sill as we were wandering in our ‘hood. We didn’t take him home, of course. We’re not that crazy.)

thin_red_line_woody_harrleson_O

For no matter the confidence that goes into that declaration of “safe,” the surety with which you tune into that alternative college station (I’m looking at you, John Richards), or the bravado that fuels you as you blithely click that viral video, when your number’s up, it’s up. You’re Woody Harrelson, realizing you’ve just pulled the pin from one of your grenades—and you don’t know which one. You’re Wallace Shawn, laughing and laughing at your dizzying intellect—right up until the point where you keel over.

Vizzini-Laugh_O

And just like that? It’s never-send-to-know-for-whom-the-drum-rolls-it-rolls-for-thee time, my friend.

But not for everyone. And not every year.

In 2015, I won for only the second time in six tries. It was Mrs. LDBC’s fourth victory. And Photoshop wizard James Barnett reports that he’s won every single year. I, for one, believe him. Not because I don’t know him to be an inveterate liar, but because he doesn’t charge me anything for those great posters, and I’d like that to continue. (Anyway, he usually reserves his fibs for the really big whoppers. Like, the ones that bring down dynasties and economies.)

Triumph is possible. This we know. And if it’s not within reach for you in any given year, then you hope that you last long enough to perish with pride, or you pray that you go down with such blinding speed that you’re named First Fallen, as kick-off victim Craig Barker was this time around. (For Craig!)

If none of those things happen? Well, hell—die young and stay pretty, as Ms. Harry melodically advised. Leave behind a beautiful LDBC-elfie. Or, in the case of LDBCer Laura Sigman, a video. (Though if you’re reading this during an active game, do not watch, as this snippet contains LDB and will drop you like Black Flag on a yellow jacket.)

This year, 24 percent of us made it to midnight on the 23rd, which warms my heart on an afternoon when, as I type this, the snow is falling in hand-sized flakes. We ended the game with nearly 3,200 likes on the Facebook page, a pretty-darned-respectable number, says I. Or as respectable as this thing of ours gets. (“Respect” isn’t a word I’m used to having in the room with me, you understand.)

LDB Body Shop

Credit: LDB Body Shop by Laura Scandura Rea

Bing and Bowie reclaimed their throne this year, knocking the Harry Simeone crew down to runner-up status. (Worth noting: if you were to combine the “Peace on Earth” duet with Der Bingle’s solo version, nobody’d come near Killer Crosby.) Will Ferrell, as he does every game, contributed his share of Ferrell Fatalities. But I must admit I was surprised at Grace Jones’s surge. Every time I think a threat has been nullified with knowledge, I discover how wrong I am. Many an unfortunate LDBCer didn’t know to avoid that Pee-wee’s Playhouse clip when it inexplicably went viral. They know now.

It was a year for expecting the unexpected. Libby Frank refused to use any performance-enhancing devices and won, the equivalent of scaling Everest without supplemental oxygen. Laura Scandura Rea executed an inspired strategy of using ear protection at the airport and lost.

Are all our best plans laid to waste? Is it mere fate? Do we really live in such a chaotic universe? I don’t know, folks. I just run the game.

What I do know, however, is that I love running it, and I’m always grateful to both the battle-scarred veterans and the fresh faces who show up every year. I couldn’t find the comment, but someone wrote that the LDBC helps make the season bearable for those who are usually lonely at holiday time. If it helps, I’m happy. And tales such as Thomas Carpenter’s make me even more so.

That said, here are the faces, figures, names, and stories, friends. As always, if you didn’t get a chance to fill out the form, but want to get on the Wall, you still have the opportunity. I’ll check back and toss you latecomers up there from time to time.

A very Happy New Year to you and yours, all, and best wishes for a totally terrific 2016. As always…

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

Bowery_1936

The Quick and the Dead

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

2015 Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

Olivia Allen-Hall – L
I was by the onions when I heard it. In retrospect, not sticking to the apples was a mistake.

Morgan Noel – W

Victory! I will now listen to Neil Peart drum solos on YouTube to celebrate.

Irit Printz – L

I will only add that any reports of a rabbi hanging around the lobby of the Hotel Atlantica, cursing up a storm for no apparent reason on the evening of December 4th are pure rumors and have nothing to do with me at all.

Valerie Sacchetti – L

I was in NY to attend my grandmother’s funeral. Nice parting shot, NaNa.

Brian Tetrault – L

“Music for music people” my @$$, WTMD.

Jennifer Vanmatre – L

My local public radio betrayed me…and after all that pledge money, too. Bastards.

Essie Wagner – L

I was there to buy chocolate for my co-workers who visit me at my desk. Bitter. Dark. Chocolate.

Heidi Wiedemann – L

I yelled out to the young sales clerk, “You killed me!” She looked stunned. And then I said, “Hold on—I need to take a picture.”

Nicole Zezzo – L

I feel that the true meaning of Christmas is to eradicate that smug little drumming fucker.

Esther Summer – L

Why was the LDB in the ladies room? I went there for privacy.

Pauline Sundby – L

Yet more proof that television is bad for you.

Terra Spencer – L

Trust no one.

Paul Schmidt – L

Damn you, Ron Burgundy.

Beth S – L

Otherwise, RJ Julia Booksellers is a very swell place to work and shop.

Jennifer Pontefract – W

I won only because of the thoughtful and vigilant LDBC community.

Mandy Rose – L

Alas, there was no grace from Grace Jones.

Julie Thompson – L

The title of the video was “Looks Can Be Deceiving.” Yes, they sure can.

James Barnett – W

Chump thinks he can come at me? At me?

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
Jacqui W
A., Lisa L
Abbott, Edward L
Achauer, Allison L
Adair, David W
Adams, Christoph W
Adams, Sam W
Adler, Ellyn L
Agins, Chuck W
Ainsworth, Catherine L
Albans, Dylan L
Albright, Kristen L
Alhadeff, Daniel W
Allen-Hall, Olivia L
Allen, Mj W
Allmer, Christina L
Allyn, Heath W
Almjeld, Karin L
Almjeld, Susan L
Amberger, Bob L
Ammerman, Amy L
Anastasia, Shandielle L
Anderson, Jb L
Anderson, Sue L
Andrews, Lisa L
Angier , Cynthia L
Anthony, Kathy W
Arlauckas, Regina L
Arnold, Joni W
Arnold, Richard L
Aronoff, Janee L
Asa, Skye L
Aubrey-Sudilovsky, Alexis L
Austin, Karen W
Avery, Cam W
Ayer, Katy L
B, Kris W
B, M L
B., Isaac L
Baange, Eugie W
Babcock , Jenna L
Bailie, Beth L
Baiyor , Patricia L
Baker, Jamie L
Balsam, Jessica L
Banks, Stacie L
Barker, Craig L
Barker, Jennifer L
Barnett, James W
Barry, Sally L
Batchelor, Rhonda W
Bauer, Renee W
Beachy, Susan L
Beckley, Lisa L
Benedetto, Anna L
Benjamin, Rebecca L
Bennett, Angela L
Bernal, Victoria L
Berry, David L
Bianchi, Emma L
Biando, Becky W
Biddlecomb, Susan W
Bingham, Craig L
Birkemeier, Glenn L
Black, Alan L
Black, Nate L
Blackburn, Barak L
Blackburn, Robin W
Blackler, Kelly L
Blair, Natalie L
Blanchard , Joanne L
Bloom, Melanie L
Blumenau, Ana W
Bodnar, B L
Bogan, Emily W
Bogart, Heather L
Bogert, Adam L
Bonk, Kat L
Booth, Brendon W
Borchardt, Jennifer L
Bowers, Justin L
Boyd, Anne W
Boyle, Bridget L
Boyle, Keri W
Bracebridge, Tory L
Braganza, Desiree W
Braine, Bill L
Brecher, Elisabeth L
Bremer, Grant W
Brinkerhoff, Mark W
Broner, Jacqueline W
Brookshaw, Chip L
Brown, Jessica L
Brown, Mary Jo W
Brown, Michele L
Brundage, Pat L
Brunson, Terri L
Bryson, J.S. L
Bubier, Jason L
Buchbinder, Brian W
Bunce, Renshin W
Burbank, Valentina L
Burch, Scooter L
Burkart, Melissa L
Burkhardt, Amy W
Burns, Maura L
Burns, Terri W
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Christine L
Butler, Will W
Byrne, Brian L
C, Brenda L
C, Ginny L
C, Karen W
Cain, Fonda L
Calhoun, Ivan L
Camp, Dawn L
Campbell, Deb L
Cappiello, Elaine L
Capria, Frank L
Carlson-King, Tracy L
Carpenter, Thomas L
Carroll-Clark, Susan W
Carter, Mary Alice L
Carvalho, Lisa L
Caston, Casey L
Chamness, Janelle L
Chessmar, Mary L
Chilson, Dawn W
Chochol, Caroline W
Church, Lisa W
Churchill-Danis, Jessica L
Cicero, Donna L
Cicero, Morgan L
Clohessy, Deedee L
Cohen, Jay L
Cole, Emily L
Coleman, Tami L
Connolly, Cyndi L
Cook, Kelly L
Cooke, Stephen L
Cooper, Jason L
Cooper, Robin L
Coss, Jeremy L
Cottle, Traci L
Craig, David L
Crane, Susan L
Crawford, Mindy L
Creamer, Duncan L
Crosby, Tyler W
Culp, David L
Cummings, Dan L
Currie, Alyssa L
Curro, Christy L
Curtis, Tammy L
Cyr, Erin W
D, Claudia L
D, Meredith L
Dailing, Paul L
Dammit Dixon, Jennifer L
Dark, Stephanie L
Darling , Mere L
Davis, Al L
Davis, Jonathan L
Davis, Matthew L
Davis, Tina W
Dean, Liz L
Deangelo, Keri L
Decastro-Lobisser, Rena W
De Lis, Tara W
Del Ponte, Katie L
Delano, Tim L
Demange, Mary L
Denchy, Ruth L
Denehie, Elizabeth W
Desimone, Mickie L
Dever, Wendy L
Diamond, Joshua W
Didomizio, Joseph L
Dimitri, C. Robert L
Dinwiddie, Melissa W
Dishman, Chelsea L
Dixon, Tim L
Dobbyn, Francesca W
Dobrinski , Rebecca L
Doherty, Dawn W
Dorsey, Chantelle L
Dost, Andy L
Douglas, Kim W
Draper, Dave W
Dunn, Barbara W
Dupriest , Matt W
Durham, Murphy L
Durish, Tiffany L
Durkin, Kathleen L
Duthie, Holly W
Dyer, Katie L
E-C, Josh & Trixie L
E, Justine L
E, Paul L
Eades, Ellen W
Eastman, Erin W
Eb, Kevin L
Eberle , Kathy L
Eckert-Chu, Corrin L
Eckert, Elspeth L
Eckert, Karin L
Elena, Christina L
Elia, Shannon L
Elizabeth, Queen L
Ellis, Stephanie L
Enge, Jon L
Epstein, Ava W
Erwin, Robin L
Espinosa, Andi L
Esterman, Sammi L
Fabini, Angela L
Farrington, Kelly L
Febres, Iris L
Feeney, James L
Fermenich, Justin W
Fernandez, Julia L
Fine, Adam L
Finkelman, Kailey W
Finkelstein, Elizabeth L
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fintschenko, Pete L
Fischer, Molly L
Fisher, Laura L
Fitter, Fawn L
Fitter, Mara W
Fitzgerald, Mark L
Fitzgerald, Scott W
Fletcher, Ben L
Fletcher, Emily L
Fletcher, Kristin W
Flinn, Wes W
Flynn, Colleen L
Foreman , Tiffany L
Forst, Christina L
Forstater, Ann L
Foster, Deann L
Fox, Abby L
Fox, Elizabeth W
Foxworthy, Brandee W
Frank, Libby W
Frank, Zilpha (Lisa) W
Frazar, Ford L
Freeman, Myron L
Friedman, Leeann L
Friendly, Stirling W
Fritz, Robb L
Frye, Darrell L
Gaither, Daigan W
Ganey, Sara L
Ganz, Claudia W
Garcia, Chel W
Garcia, Rudy L
Gardner , Rebecca L
Gatling , Sara L
Gelfand, Bev W
Giangrande, Tina L
Gironella, Ninette L
Gomez, Amanda L
Grant, Kim W
Greene, Emily L
Greiner, Michael L
Grengs, Dayna L
Gripman, Jen W
Gripman, Stuart W
Grodis, Beth L
Gualtieri, Jessika W
Gunning, Walker L
Guterman, Lila L
H, Amanda L
H, H L
H, Lafawne L
Hahn, Madeleine L
Hailey, Meredith W
Hamblen, Amanda W
Hamblen, Lisa L
Hamilton, Heather L
Hamilton, Reid L
Hannan, Sara L
Hanses, Ben L
Hardy, Susan L
Harkins, Barbara L
Harms, Eric W
Harris, Emily L
Harvey , Larisa L
Hatch, Rollie L
Haught, Megan L
Hawkins, Elizabeth L
Hawley, Rob L
Hawn, Matthew W
Hddn, Jeff L
Heck, Emily L
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Hermanson, Dalea W
Hernandez, Adriana L
Herne, Bree L
Herrington, Betsy L
Herron, Kelly W
Hight, Brian L
Hill , Michael L
Hill, Christine L
Hill, Jeff L
Hilton, Theresa L
Hindman, Joyce W
Hodgens, Evan W
Holland, Kimberly L
Hood, Sara L
Hopkins, James L
Hornyak, Jeff L
Houlihan, Christopher L
Howard, Beth L
Hubbell , Sunni L
Huey, AJ W
Hufford, Amy L
Hugo, Heather L
Hurford, Terry L
Husted, Mariah L
Husted, Rachel L
Hyland, Mary Pat L
Hytowitz, Rebecca L
I, Elizabeth L
Igoe, Tom L
Ives, Brian L
Jackson, Rae L
Jacob, Lou L
Jacob, Renae L
Jacobson, Meredith L
James, Suz L
Jean, Linda L
Jess, Dj W
Johnsen, Craig L
Johnson , Barb L
Johnson, Brian L
Johnson, Lori L
Jones, Kale W
Jones, Karen L
Joyce, Brian L
Judge, Serena L
Juncker, Chandra W
K, Jennifer L
K., Sasha W
Kamm, Lisa L
Kasler, Jo L
Katz, Meimei L
Kelleher, Desiree L
Keller, Julie L
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Kevin L
Kern, Desiree W
Kh, Molly L
Kief, Kristen L
Kilgore, Addie W
Kilyanek, Brooke L
Kirk, Kerri W
Kittredge , John L
Kittredge, Khalil L
Klein, Dee L
Klimek, Amanda W
Knight, Brandie L
Kohn, Tina W
Kohn, Vicky L
Kopperman , Leah W
Kowalski, Nancy L
Kraiger, Michael L
Krohn , Steve W
Kunz, Nicole W
Kushmaul, Crystal W
Lademann, Christine L
Lake-Corral, Lorien L
Lane, Keith W
Lantz, Bryanna L
Lara, Erin L
Larrow, Gina L
Larsen, Laura L
Larson, Natalie L
Lawrence, Marc L
Lawson , Jen W
Lawson, Emily W
Leahy, Mary Ellen L
Leclair, Joe W
Lee, Roger W
Lefton, Sarah W
Lemonhead, Lulu L
Lent, Daniel L
Lent, Kristie W
Leo, Jennifer L
Lerner, Mark L
Leslie, Diana L
Leveridge, Brett L
Levine, Jonathan L
Levitan, Stacy L
Levy, Susie L
Lim, Jeena L
Linder, Gretchen W
Linger, Maria L
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Long, David W
Long, Kelly L
Lopez De Castilal, Mariana W
Loretta, Catherine L
Loter, Jim W
Louthan , Poppy L
Loveland , Sheila W
Lutz, Ericka L
Lyle, Steve L
Lysne, Lisa L
M, Amy L
M, Heather L
M, Katherine L
M, Lisa L
M, Steven L
Macaulay, Jillian L
Macdonald, Peter L
Mackinnon, Bryn W
Madesclaire, Marine W
Madison, Anne L
Madzin , Kathleen L
Magrisso, Steohanie L
Maier, John L
Mailander, Melissa L
Malkin, Sarah W
Maloney , Sean L
Manguchei, Kendyce L
Manson, Tycho L
Marracco, Muffy L
Marsden, Malcolm L
Marshall, Laura L
Martin, Ann L
Martin, Noland L
Massey, Misty L
McCabe, Heather W
McCafferty, Mindi L
McClough, Maggie (Seahare) L
McDonald, Andrew W
McDonald, Stef L
Mcdonald, Stuart L
McDowell, Marie L
McDuff, Russ L
McGough, Tina L
McGrath, Lauren L
McGregor , Heathee L
McGuire, Matt L
McIntosh, Kyle L
McKeon, Katherine W
McLane, Heather L
McManus, Carole L
McMaster, Amy W
McNiel , Pj L
McNutt, Carol L
Meckler, Amelia L
Meister, Just L
Melton, Holly L
Melzer Coveyou, Kam L
Michals, Rebecca L
Michetti Somers , Dina W
Miera, Tom L
Mignone, Bernadette W
Miller, Barb L
Miller, Don L
Miller, Russ W
Mochari, Loren W
Moers, Christine L
Moncrief, Megan L
Monica , Julia L
Montelongo, Roxanne L
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morrey, Erin L
Morris, Whitney L
Morrison, Cathy L
Mullen, Kile W
Mullins, Morwyn L
Murphy, Eric L
Murphy, Heather L
Murphy, Lillian L
Murphy, Michael L
Murphy, Roy L
Myers, Stacey L
Nadeau, Robin W
Nahem, Ivan L
Neilclan, Starry W
Nelson, Laurie L
Nelson, Terri L
Nesser, Dennis L
Neulist, Nicolle L
Newman, Stephanie L
Nickerson, Catherine L
Nies, Kim L
Nixon, Jen L
Noel , Morgan W
Nolan, Mike W
Nordstrom, Elizabeth L
Nordstrom, Ron L
Noseworthy, Tery L
November, Sharyn W
Nuelle, Jon L
O, Rachel W
O’Hagan , Mickey L
Ogan, Marty W
Olfers, Carey L
Olguin, Patrick L
Olson, Julie L
Olson, Nick L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Osada, Fumiko L
Ostrowski, Darlene L
Owens, David W
Oxner, Todd L
P, Ray W
P., Tom L
Papalia, Alexis W
Pappas, Mish L
Patchett, Kate L
Patterson, Colleen L
Pax, Lori W
Peck, Michael W
Peel, John L
Pellissier, Denise L
Perry, Lisa L
Peter, Shockheaded L
Peters , Toni-Maree L
Peterson, Nancy L
Pew, Esther L
Podemski, Edwina W
Poling, Fred L
Polk, Christopher W
Pontefract , Jennifer W
Porter, Brett L
Prentice, David L
Prentice, Kim L
Preston, Kathy L
Printz, Irit L
Puchalski, Anna W
Purvis, Sk W
Quinn , Dana L
Radding, Reuben W
Rakkasah, Heather W
Ramina, Matt L
Rand, Rachel L
Range, Jen5253 L
Rasche, Carolyn L
Raucci, Samantha L
Rea, Laura L
Reichman, Dana W
Reid, Mary L
Renzulli, Linda L
Revvington, Revenant W
Reznek, Abby L
Reznek, Karen L
Rice, Jamie L
Richter, Marc L
Roberts, Laurie L
Robichaux , Julie W
Robichaux, Tim L
Rogal, Dawn L
Rosado, Mercedees L
Rose, Alec L
Rose, Kaitlin L
Rose, Mandy L
Rosen, Peg L
Rosenthal, Pony W
Roth Smith, Dawn L
Roth, Amy W
Rowland, Rick L
Ruggiero, Megan W
Rullo, Nancy W
Rush, Randy L
Russell, Kat L
Ruzich, Christian L
Ryer, Kelly L
S, Allison L
S, Beth L
S, N W
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sacchi, Christine L
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Salerno, James W
Salvador, Phil L
Samis, Michelle W
Samuelson, Jenny W
Samuelson, Michael W
Sandusky Ferrier, Sarah L
Scandura, Terri L
Scarlato, Tracy L
Sch, Candace L
Schaeffer, Julie L
Scheer, Alttara L
Scheer, Isabelle L
Schmeling, Aaron L
Schmeling, Kristin W
Schmidt, Paul L
Schmitt, Jennifer L
Schober, Saffron L
Schoenholz, Elon L
Schwarer, Sandy W
Schwinke, Theo W
Sciullo, Allison W
Screen, Derek L
Sebrell, Lynn L
Segall, Margaret L
Settlemire, Jaclyn L
Shanahan, Ginger W
Sharpe, Martha L
Shengold, Nina L
Sheppard, Jacob L
Sheridan, Clare W
Shollenberger, Lee Ann L
Siepka , Peggy W
Siepka, Peggy L
Sigman, Laura L
Sinclair, Shauna W
Skinner, Claire L
Skochko, Julia L
Smith, Ben W
Smith, Cathryn L
Smith, Cathy L
Smith, Lianne W
Snell Nachtsheim, Joyce L
Snord, Cranston L
Snyder, Jenn L
Solliday, Joanne W
Sorenson, Greg L
Southwell, Mag W
Spelsberg, Coral L
Spencer, Terra L
Sperry, Arthur L
Spragg, Russell L
Spring, Nomy L
Stacy, Nancy L
Stern, Lexi L
Stevens, Andy L
Stewart, Jonathan L
Stewart, Rebekah L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stiffler, Dee L
Stine, Shannon L
Stoneburner, Ann L
Strickland-Lozada, Nancy L
Subers, Libby L
Sullivan , Diane L
Sullivan, Cara W
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, Rebecca L
Sullvan, Peg L
Summer, Esther L
Sundby, Pauline L
Sweeney, Ginia L
Swiecki, Maria W
T., Anne L
Tabor, Deb L
Taitano, Julie L
Tarabour, Lucy W
Tarbox, Maggie L
Taylor, Jack L
Tepper, Michele L
Tetreault, Brian L
Thacher, Meg L
Thom , Neil W
Thomas, Cathy L
Thomas, Leila W
Thompson, Julie L
Timmons, Becky L
Timms, George W
Tingey, Janet L
Tognazzini, Shana W
Turiel, Josh W
Tyler, Dee L
Underhill, Amanda W
Vandermark, Bill L
Vanmatre, Jennifer L
Viehmann, Martha L
Voltz, Stephen L
Von Ahn, Lisa L
W, Megan L
W, Miss L
Wacknov, Stacey L
Wagner, Essie L
Wagner, Vicki L
Wallace, Meghan L
Ward, Robin L
Ware, Minda Grace L
Watson, Bekah L
Webb, Barbara L
Weller, Chris W
Weller, Sherry L
Wenk, Conor L
Wenk, Sarah L
Wessel Walker, Donna L
Wessel Walker, Mary L
White, Brian W
White, Libby L
White, Lindsay Maguire L
White, Sara L
Whittle, Kate L
Whitton, Audra L
Wiedemann, Heidi L
Wiese, Jodi L
Wilcott, Lynn L
Willett, Lindsay L
Williams, Harold L
Williams, Katie L
Williams, Nancy L
Willis, Danielle L
Wills, Allie L
Wills, Carroll W
Wilson, Jennifer W
Wilson, Molly L
Winger, Melissa L
Wingfield, Amber L
Winter, Stacy L
Wishengrad, Paul L
Wissink, Alanya W
Witt, Michelle L
Wolfe, Alexandra L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Woman , Onemean W
Wood, Cameo W
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Mary L
Woodward, Timothy W
Wright, Diana L
Wright, Patrick L
Wright, Sarah W
Wyatt, Julie L
Wyman, Kendall L
X, Joey W
Yarbrough, Susan L
Zezzo, Nicole L
Zoccola, Dianne L

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2014

Fallen drummer by Reuben Radding

Fallen drummer by Reuben Radding

Go, tell the Spartans, stranger passing by

That here, obedient to their laws, we lie.

Simonides of Ceos

And with that, just one of many translations of the poem to mark the heroics of men who each had more bravery in his pinky toe than I have in the entirety of my corpus, we celebrate the yearly toppling of The Boy, fellow LDBCers. We, the fallen, cheer the triumph of our winners while battling to contain the Giger-esque chest-burster of jealousy. And I face down a seasonal terror second only to that of the little rat-a-tat bastard himself: basic math.

The 2014 LDBC brought us a 46 percent increase in Facebook likes (from 1,830 to 2,675). More fearless holiday warriors willing to challenge the rhythmic darkness. And a few more skillful ones, apparently, since our reported win rate improved from 25 percent last year to 29 percent this year. Or maybe there are more shut-ins. Or more liars, perhaps. Still, a reported win’s a reported win, and I, for one, believe them, as I am a giving kind of guy.

One other statistical difference you’ll note is that this year marks the first time that the deadly duo of Bing and Bowie haven’t taken first place in the body count. That’s because I, being ever observant, realized after five years of doing this that people were reporting losses via the solo Bing version and not the combo, so I broke them out separately. Thus, live performances are now the King of Chaos and Harry Simeone reigns as Baron Blood.

Other firsts? This year marked the debut of the First Fallen, the lead-off loser who inspires the seasonal battle cry with his or her awful misfortune. For 2014, that dubious honor went to long-time LDBCer Susan Campbell Beachy, who bought it on day one with a grace comparable to that of Wile E. Coyote wrestling gravity. (She went paws-up at Michael’s Crafts while searching for a holiday garland for her bannister. For Susan!)

All gloom aside, let’s not forget that we end, as we do every year, with the inevitable victory delivered by our old friend the Gregorian calendar. (The second hand saves us when it passes the twelve in the first moments of December 24th, as it dependably does every year, after all.)

And this time around, we celebrate another groundbreaking gift, the arrival of the first LDBC twins (and first LDBC babies of any kind, as far as we know). Wee ones Bea and Tess showed up on December 9th and helped save their mom, LDBCer CJ, with the forced isolation of a nine-day hospital stay. And as Mom pointed out, they both have a lifetime LDBC winning streak going. (Please join us in welcoming the kids to the fray and congratulating the happy parents on their creation of life in the defiance of so much woe. Whoa.)

LDBC twins Bea and Tess

Credit: 2014 LDBC twins Bea and Tess by CJ

And if the circle-of-life thing isn’t quite enough joy for you, if you need more positivity to cram into your cheek pouches for later use, we also treat you to this, a note left for Santa by LDBCer Keri Rae Boyle‘s grateful third-grader. Personally, I rejoice in the knowledge that I’m not the only one out there who needs a few do-overs, even if my standard is set by a member of the post-Berenstain Bears crowd.

Santa Note

Credit: Santa note and note writer by Keri Rae Boyle

With that, we bring you the yearly NASA-level graphs and analysis, plus an LDBC-elfie gallery that’s full to bursting with pathos but is also leavened with a few pinches of win. And, of course, the sad and stirring narrative highlights and the ever-lovin’ LDBC Wall, your reward for filling out the reporting form. (And if you didn’t fill it out, but want to get on the Wall, you can still do so. I’ll check it now and then and add you laggards.)

As I say every year, this thing of ours helps get us through the holidays, and we couldn’t do it without you. So from all us slain Spartans to those still shuffling out the jitterbug o’ victory, a very Happy New Year, and best wishes for a wonderful 2015.

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

The Quick and the Dead

Win-Loss Pie Chart

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

2014 Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

Jack Taylor – L

I will never buy anything retail again.

Irene Connelly – L

When I encountered The Boy, as we all must, he was wrapped in a handmade artisanal flag, carrying an organic, slow-food lunch encased in recyclable BPA-free plastic in one hand and a locally handcrafted gluten-free ale in another. This is not what I call sustainability.

Marcus Andrews – W

Being an out of touch, mass-media-shunning, shopaphobic curmudgeon finally paid off this year.

Robert Helfen – L

Just had to buy those stupid wall anchors, right?

Mary Humphreys – L

“Oh shit,” said my mother.

Jamie Baker – W

After five years, I have vanquished the Boy and his power. I HAVE TASTED VICTORY AND IT IS DELICIOUS. (If that doesn’t warrant caps-lock abuse, I ask you, what does?)

Chris Smith – L

I was blind-sided like Willem Dafoe in Platoon.

Ted Bunn – L

I suppose we could have left the room, like members of a secret society when the society’s name is mentioned, but good manners got the better of us.

Cori Eckert-Chu – W

Slacker was axed on the final day, but he can report his own tale of woe while I dance the victory Happy Dance around him. Things like this are good for our marriage.

Elizabeth Fox – L

Buying head cheese for my mom at a German deli. Oh, well. She liked the head cheese.

Steve Friedman – L

I ducked briefly into Au Bon Pain to check out les soupes du jour, and tout d’un coup I realized that le voix du Bing mort was croonant cette chanson maudite on the background-music service. Merde, merde, merde.

Kate Hagel – L

My stupid kids love the polka music.

Cate Husted – L

Stupid Anne Murray. Stupid garden gnome.

Adam Kelly – L

Now I must explain to my son that he is an orphan.

A.D. Puchalski – L

My co-workers were shocked I lasted four days. I cursed them out with the sort of happy fury you expect from the lone non-chef in a cake shop.

Maria Kelly – L

All I wanted was to feel a bit of holiday joy, so I turned on the Finnish holiday music station online.

Kjell King – L

The old lady sitting next to me had somehow figured out how to make TLDB her ringtone. I thought old people were supposed to be shitty with technology.

Ellen Adler – L

I kinda sounded like Nancy Kerrigan after Tonya Harding whacked her.

Rae Loney – L

I panicked and nearly punched the driver in the face.

Wade Lucas – L

The wife was playing with our dog, dressing him up like a shepard, and just started singing.

Megan Moore – W

The first year I’ve won!!! I’m so happy I could cry!!! I love this game. All my friends and family think I’m crazy, but this is such a fun thing for me every year! Thanks so much for all the work you do!

Gil Reavill – L

Never trust your shuffle.

Brian White – L

I went into the leasing office of my apartment complex for service, and he nailed me. Upon hearing his dreaded music, I yelled expletives a crusty, drunken longshoreman shouldn’t hear, let alone a six-year-old girl, who just happened to be present (the girl, not the longshoreman). This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

Brendizzle Slice – L

Yelling, “No!” like Vader when he found out he was Vader.

Esther Summer – L

Who would expect a kosher ice cream emporium to be playing Xmas songs? Yarmulkes and “The Little Drummer Boy” are a bad mix.

Holly Melton – L

You’re a bad man, Charlie Brown!

Anthony Vant Leven – W

Headphones and Weird Al kept me safe.

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
(Not Mike), Mike L
A, Barbara W
A, Berto L
A, Regina L
Abel, Ali L
Abel, Dana L
Achauer, Allison W
Aczon, Evan W
Addison, Libby L
Adler, Ellyn L
Agins, Chuck L
Ahern, Sylvia W
Ajdukiewicz, Jeremy L
Albans, Dylan W
Alberti, Lawrence L
Albright, Kristen L
Albulario, Dave L
Allen, Mike L
Allmer, Christina L
Alphabet, Kat L
Alsdorf, Ducky W
Altom, Ashley L
Altreuter, Bill L
Ambyth, Michael L
Amlaw Swift, Lys L
Anastasia, Shandielle W
Anderson, Kevin L
Anderson, Sue W
Andrews, Lisa L
Andrews, Marcus W
Andrews, Shamela L
Angel, Lauryn L
Anthony, Kathy W
Antonelli, Lisa W
Aplin, Carol L
Appel, Kris L
Ardizzone, Marc L
Arellanes, Douglas L
Arick, Susan W
Ariz, Ermer L
Arkenberg, Rebecca L
Armbruster, Tom L
Arnold, Joni W
Aronoff, Janee L
Ashe, A W
Augé, Suzanne L
Austin, Karen L
Avery, Cam L
Ayer, Katy L
B, A L
B, Gloria L
Babineaux, Mera W
Bailie, Beth L
Baiyor, Patricia L
Baker, Beth L
Baker, Jamie W
Bales, Jim W
Banannie, Annie L
Barish, Mike L
Barker, Craig L
Barnett, James W
Barrie, Paul L
Barry, Sally L
Bassi, Laura L
Baszto, Sarah W
Bauer, Renée L
Beachy, Doug W
Beachy, Mike L
Beachy, Susan L
Beals, Andrew W
Beebe, Cindy L
Beebe, Gillian L
Beers, Marlaina L
Bell, Karen L
Bennett, Angela L
Bentley, Dawn L
Berg, Greg L
Bergquist, Rob W
Bernal, Victoria W
Berndt, Nicci L
Bernstein, Andrew L
Berrones, Lisa L
Berry, David L
Bersano, Robbie W
Bertsche, Katie W
Bianchi, Emma L
Biando, Becky W
Bichsel, Stefanie W
Bickelhauptb, John L
Biddlecomb, Susan W
Bingham, Craig L
Birkemeier, Alan W
Birkemeier, Glenn L
Birkhead, Andrew L
Blackburn, Barak W
Blackburn, Robin L
Blackmore, Kristen L
Blair, Natalie W
Blanchard, Joanne L
Bodie, Jen L
Boedecker, Joelle L
Bogan, Emma W
Bonnet, Gordon L
Booth, Brendon W
Borchardt, Jennifer L
Borck, Jeffrey W
Bot, Sooshe W
Bota, Savanna L
Boy, Jet L
Boyle, Keri L
Bracebridge, Tory L
Bradley, S L
Bradley, Terri L
Braine, Bill L
Bremer, Grant L
Brenner, Erin L
Brewer, Juleah L
Brian Ragan, Julie Galdieri (And) L
Britton, Kim L
Brock, George L
Broner, Jacqueline L
Brooks, Steve L
Brookshaw, Chip L
Brouwer, Tara W
Brown, Ben W
Brown, Jessica L
Brown, Mary Jo W
Brown, Michele L
Brown, Sian L
Brundage, Patrick L
Buchbinder, Brian L
Buchert, Georgia W
Buckley, Jeremy L
Bunn, Ted L
Buonacore, Sarah W
Burbank, Valentina L
Burch, Scooter L
Burchill, Hannah W
Burke-Smith, Kit L
Burlingham, Ann L
Burnand, Lisa W
Burnett, Robin L
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Neil L
Byrne, Brian L
Calhoun, Ivan L
Camas, Joanne L
Campbell, Carolynn L
Campbell, Deb L
Campbell, Kat L
Campbell, Roger W
Candow, Cheyenne W
Cara, Anam W
Carber, M W
Cardona, Mylynka L
Carey, Jeanette L
Carpenter, Thomas L
Carr, Brenda L
Carr, Kim L
Carrasco, Nona W
Carvalho, Lisa L
Castillo, Angel L
Caston, Casey L
Chamberlain, Alan L
Chandler, Trey L
Chaney, Stephanie L
Chavez, Ermando L
Chilson, Dawn L
Chipman, Chris W
Chirico, Alisa L
Christensen, Julie L
Christensen, Michael L
Christie, Ian L
Churchill-Danis, Jessica L
Cicero, Donna L
Cicero, Morgan L
Clark, Robin L
Clvenger, Carey W
Coe, Scott L
Coffey, Lea Ann L
Cohen, Jay W
Cohen, Joseph L
Cole, Aillene W
Collesano, Michael W
Colligan, Chrissy W
Colligan, Kevin W
Collins, Amy L
Connelly, Irene L
Connolly, Becki L
Connolly, Cyndi W
Conroy, Heidi L
Cooke, Stephen L
Cordero, Linda L
Cox, Anna L
Cradeur, Heather L
Craig, David L
Crane, Susan L
Crawford, Mindy W
Creamer, Duncan W
Crosby, Pam L
Crosby, Tyler L
Culp, Elizabeth L
Cummings, Dan L
Cummins, Kirsten L
Cunningham, Catherine L
Cureton, Melissa L
Curro, Christy L
Curtis, Tammy L
D’Angelo, Ella L
Daley, Matt L
Damewood, Amy W
Damigella, Rick L
Daniel, David W
Daniels, Rebecca L
Dark, Stephanie L
Dashnaw, Rob W
Davis, Jonathan W
Davis, Tina L
Dea, Joe L
Dean, Liz L
Deangelo, Keri L
Deangelo, Michael L
Decastro-Lobisser, Rena W
Dees, Jenny L
Delange, Lisa L
Denchy, Ruth L
Denehie, Elizabeth L
Denoncourt, Kellie L
Derrick, Carolynn W
Desimone, M L
Devereux, Season L
Devine, Roger W
Diamond, Joshua L
Dillon, Sara L
Ditullio, Amy L
Dixon, Anne L
Dixon, Joan L
Dixon, Stephen W
Dobbie, Catherine L
Dobbyn, Francesca L
Doberstein, Steve L
Dobrinski, Rebecca L
Donahue, Penny L
Dost, Andy W
Doty, Amy W
Dougherty, Jenn W
Douglas, Kim L
Dunn, Barbara L
Duthie, Holly W
Dworkin, Peter L
Dyer, Brandi W
Eades, Ellen L
Eastman-Kurtz, Molly W
Eckert-Chu, Cori W
Eckert, Elspeth W
Eddy, Carrilee L
Edelstein, Rob L
Edington, Jillian L
Ellis, Stephanie L
Elterman, Shane W
Epstein, Ava L
Erwin, Robin L
Espinosa, Andelee W
Essid, Joe L
Esterman, Sammi W
Etessam, Yas W
Everson, Bart L
F, R L
Fabiani, Angela L
Falk, Harris L
Fan, Esther L
Farrell, Thomas L
Farrington, Kelly W
Fayerman, Jessica L
Fears, Ashley L
Felion, Jennifer L
Ferrier, Sarah L
Finkelstein, Liz L
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fintschenko, Pete W
Fiore, Tony W
Fischer, Molly L
Fisher, Laura L
Fisher, Stella W
Fitter, Fawn L
Flanagan, Dolores W
Fletcher, Ben L
Fletcher, Kari L
Fletcher, Kristin L
Flickinger, Megan L
Flinn, Amanda L
Flinn, Wes L
Flynn, Colleen L
Foreman, Tiffany L
Forfia, Angela L
Forst, Christina L
Fox, Elizabeth L
Francis, Kerri W
Franck, Judith W
Frank, Libby L
Frank, Zilpha L
Franzman, Amanda L
Freeland, Heather L
Freeman, Katie L
Freeman, Pamela W
Friedman, Cheryl W
Friedman, Steve L
Fristensky, Kathryn L
Froemming, Kelly L
Frye, Darrell L
G-B, Lex L
G, Robert L
Gagnon, Joyce L
Gainer, Renee L
Gaither, Daigan W
Galbos, Robyn L
Galinson, Stephanie L
Galles, Jill L
Gallo, Charles W
Galvan, Amy W
Ganey, Sara L
Gannon, Peggy L
Ganz, Claudia L
Garcia, Chel W
Gardner, Rebecca W
Gates, Karen L
Gatlin, Cere L
Giangrande, Tina L
Gibbons, Honora L
Gingrich, Alex L
Gironella, Ninette L
Glaser, Maureen L
Glover, Linda L
Go, Steve W
Goetsch, Stephanie L
Goldstein, Laurie W
Gonzalez, Dj W
Goodall, Pete L
Goodwin, Kate L
Gordon, Josh W
Gordon, Roberta L
Gorman, Steve L
Goth, Silver L
Gotthelf, Jenna W
Grady, Robert L
Grant, Kim L
Graves, Jessica L
Gray, Scott L
Greco, Marissa L
Green, Megan L
Greene, Emily L
Grieve, Kelly L
Griffin, Karen L
Gripman, Jen L
Gripman, Stuart L
Grocholski, Suzanne L
Gualtieri, Jessika L
Guthrie, Caroline W
H, Anna L
H, B L
Hagel, Kate L
Hahn, Madeleine L
Hale, Jamie L
Hamilton, Reid L
Hanoka, Rachel L
Hanses, Ben L
Hanson, Colleen W
Hardy, Susan W
Hare, Sea W
Harkins, Barbara W
Harlin, Lafawne L
Harris, Rebecca W
Harrison, Shannon L
Hart, Kristi L
Hartford, Bev L
Harvey, Larisa W
Harvey, Sarah W
Hatala, Tara L
Hatch, Rollie W
Haught, Megan W
Hawkins, Eileen L
Hawley, Rob W
Hawley, Rob W
Hawn, Matthew W
Hayward, Cat L
Head, Blender W
Healy, Leona L
Hearn, Rachel W
Heck, Emily W
Heidel, Amy L
Helfen, Robert L
Heller, Amos L
Hendricks, Nettie W
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Henecke, Art L
Herne, Bree W
Herrington, Betsy L
Herron, Kelly L
Herron, Nancy L
Hewitt, Aimee L
Hight, Brian L
Hill, Christine L
Hilligoss, Amy L
Hogan, Jenna L
Holiday-O’Hara, Sybil W
Hollister, Andrew L
Holly, Miz L
Holmes, Leslie L
Hopkins, James L
Hornyak, Jeff W
Houlihan, Christopher W
Howard, Aaron W
Howell, Becca L
Humphreys, Mary L
Hunt, Melinda L
Hurford, Terry L
Husmann, Robyn L
Husted, Cate L
Husted, Rachel L
Hutchinson, J L
Hyland, Mary Pat L
Hytowitz, Rebecca L
Identifier, Unique L
Isaacs, Charles W
Isaacson, Peter L
Ives, Brian L
J, Amanda L
Jackson, Barbara L
Jackson, Ben L
Jackson, Rae L
Jacob, Lou L
Jacob, Renae L
Jacobson, Meredith W
Jaitin, Gail L
Jalbert, Alison L
James, Suz L
Janson, N L
Jaress, Jc W
Jarett, Jennifer W
Jarrahzadeh, Jacky L
Jenkins, Sarah L
Jess, Dave W
Johnson, Barbara L
Johnson, Brian W
Johnson, Peggy L
Jones, Erin L
Jones, Ray L
Joseph, Jeff L
Ju, Rena W
Juhala, Jeff W
Juhala, Laura L
Juhala, Sabine L
Juilfs, Deanne L
Julie, Tegan W
Juncker, Chandra W
Kakos, Kristen L
Kalinowski, Tricia L
Kamin, Mir W
Kamm, Lisa L
Kaplan, Billy L
Karish, Chuck W
Kashuba, Ken L
Kasler, Jo L
Kelley, Carl W
Kelly, Adam L
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Jenny W
Kelly, Kevin L
Kelly, Maria L
Kenfield, Micsh L
Kennedy, Amanda L
Kennedy, Mattie W
Key, Sarah W
Kh, Molly L
Kief, Kristen L
Kief, Kristen L
Kilgore, Addie W
Killian, William L
Kincaid, Jaime W
King, Kjell L
Kirby, Jenn L
Kitterman, Jim L
Kittredge, John L
Klein, Ed L
Kohn, Tina L
Kohn, Vicky W
Kopperman, Leah W
Kostalek, Jennifer L
Kraiger, Michael L
Kranyak, Margaret L
Kunz, Nicole L
L Parker, Carrie L
Labaire, Jessica W
Lachnit, Carroll L
Lademann, Christine L
Lane, Keith L
Lang, Eleanor W
Lara, Erin L
Larrow, Gina W
Larsen, Laura L
Lawrence, Jamie W
Lea, Brady L
Leclair, Joe W
Lee, Amanda L
Lee, Anna Nicole W
Lefton, Sarah L
Leo, Jennifer L
Lerner, Mark W
Leslie, Diana L
Leslie, Krissi L
Leveridge, Brett W
Leveridge, Shelley L
Levine, Jonathan W
Lewis, Charles L
Liao, Jena L
Lieber, Val W
Lim, Jeena L
Linder, Gretchen W
Linger, Maria W
Lint, Rj L
Linville, Cindy W
Lipner, Mia L
Lisowski, Stefan W
Loechner, Kevin W
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Loney, Rae L
Long, David L
Losey, Michelle L
Loveland, Sheila L
Lovinggood, Adam L
Lucas, Wade L
Lundsten, Betsy L
Lutz, Ericka W
Lyle, Pam L
Lysne, Lisa L
M, Anita W
M, Jo L
M, Mike L
M., Carole L
Macdonald, Angus W
Macedo, Barbra L
Mackenzie, Doug W
Mackey, Jen L
Mackinnon, Bryn W
Macpherson, Kimberli L
Madesclaire, Marine L
Madison, Anne L
Madzin, Kathleen L
Maguire, Hattie L
Mahar, Julia L
Mailander, Melissa W
Maine, Shanoah L
Malcolm, Imogene W
Malmros, Mary W
Maloney, Sean L
Manson, Tycho L
Marracco, Muffy L
Marshall, Laura W
Martin, Noland L
Martin, Zac L
Maruca, Joseph L
Marykuca, Brent W
Masek, Shelli L
Massey, Misty L
Mayes, Donald W
Mcadoo, Jenn L
Mcalexander, Leslie L
Mccabe, Heather W
Mccartney, Tracey L
Mccormick, Meg L
Mccowan, Claudia L
Mccreery, Cee W
Mccullagh, Angie L
Mccutchen, Devin L
Mcdonald, Andrew W
Mcdonald, Stef L
Mcduff, Robin L
Mcduff, Russ W
Mcelroy, Jill L
Mcgarry, Kate W
Mcgarry, Mike L
Mcgillicuddy, Carole L
Mcginty, Joe L
Mcgough, Tina W
Mcgown, Shannon L
Mcgrath, Lauren L
Mcgregor, Heather L
Mcguire, Matt L
Mcintyre, Chris W
Mckeon, Kit L
Mcknight, Nikki L
Mcneely, Alvin L
Mcnutt, Carol W
Meacham, Ali L
Meckler, Amelia L
Medina, Jen L
Medina, Trish L
Meister, E. L
Melton, Holly L
Melzer, Kam W
Mendoza, Jeffrey L
Mewha, Darren L
Meyers, Lisa L
Micha, Alyssa L
Michals, Rebecca L
Miera, Tom W
Mignone, Bernadette L
Miles, Heatherly L
Miller, Don W
Miller, Ken L
Miller, Meg L
Mitchell, Daphne W
Mochari, Loren W
Moers, Christine L
Mokler, Linda L
Monaco, Michael L
Moon, Naila L
Moore, Matt L
Moore, Megan W
Morayati, Katherine W
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morrison, Cathy L
Morse, Tracy L
Mrowka, Gregg L
Mueller, Heidi L
Mueller, Stacy W
Mulhall, Suzanne L
Mullen, Kile L
Munn, Christy W
Murphy, Eric L
Murphy, Roy L
Murray, Mark L
Myers, Lex W
Myers, Stacey L
Nadeau, Robin L
Nahem, Ivan L
Nelson Melle, Vivian L
Nelson, Terri L
Nesser, Dennis L
Neufeld, Jonathan L
Newman, Stephanie L
Nisbett, Bob W
Noel, Morgan L
Nolan, Mike L
Nordstrom, Elizabeth W
Nordstrom, Ron W
Northend, Desiree L
Nugent, Sharon W
O’Cone, Trisha L
Ohlinger, Allison L
Olfers, Carey W
Olsavsky, Kevin L
Olson, Julie L
Olson, Nick L
Orr, Amy L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Osbor, Jacob L
Oswalt, Sandi L
Owens, Carrie L
Owens, Ed L
Oxner, Todd W
P, M L
Pack, Dan L
Padgett, Ray L
Pam, Qqtpie L
Papalia, Alexis L
Parker, Linda L
Parker, Nomi Joy L
Partridge, Jennifer W
Patchett, Kate L
Patterson, Colleen W
Paximadis, Lori L
Peck, Denise L
Peck, Larry L
Peck, Michael L
Pedersen, Susie L
Perry, Lisa L
Perry, Shawnee W
Peters, Toni-Maree L
Peterson, Ryan W
Petrillo, Sophia W
Phillips, Julie W
Pietsch, Janet L
Pinkerton, Kelkie L
Poling, Fred L
Pollock, Alicia W
Pontefract, Jennifer L
Porter, Brett W
Porter, Lyn L
Powell, Milena W
Prentice, Kim L
Printz, Irit L
Profound, Bozo L
Puchalski, A.D. L
Purvis, Shonda L
Quik, Jack W
R, Nancy L
Radding, Reuben L
Ragan, Greg W
Rainey, Jerome W
Rakkasah, Heather L
Rand, Rachel L
Randle, Nadine W
Rankin, Kevin L
Ratcliff, Alan L
Rea, Laura L
Reavill, Gil L
Reed, Tammey L
Reichman, Dana L
Reid, Mary L
Reiss, Randy L
Renae, Stevie L
Renzulli, Linda L
Reynolds, Amanda L
Reznek, Karen W
Rhoades, Michele L
Rice, Shelley L
Richards, Shawna W
Richter, Marc L
Ridenour, Gregory W
Rigney, Dan L
Roberts, Laurie L
Robichaux, Julie L
Rocco, Cathleen, A Queen Among Women W
Rogal, Dawn L
Rogers, Deanna L
Rollans, Scott L
Rondou, Kelly W
Rose, Alec L
Rose, Johanna Maria W
Rose, Mandy L
Rosen, Peg L
Rosenstock, Amy W
Rosenthal, Elizabeth L
Ross, Andrew W
Roth, Amy W
Rotundo, Rebecca L
Ruggiero, Megan W
Rullo, Nancy W
Russell, Kat L
Ruzich, Christian W
Ryer, Kelly L
S, H L
S, Lisa L
Sabbath, Mickey L
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sacchi, Christine W
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Safford, Kevin L
Salvador, Phil W
Samson, Phil L
Samuelson, Jenny L
Samuelson, Michael W
Santa, Sally W
Sarno, Donna L
Scandura, Terri L
Scarlato, Tracy L
Schatz, Roy W
Scheer, Alttara W
Scheer, Isabelle L
Scheffler, Ryan W
Schissel, Beth W
Schmitt, Jennifer L
Schnitzer, Mark L
Schnur, Susan L
Schubauer, Heather L
Schutzer, Flori L
Schwarer, Sandy L
Schwinke, Theo W
Sciullo, Allison L
Scott, Chris W
Seamone, Jeannie L
Sears, Cathy L
Sebrell, Lynn L
Segall, Margaret L
Senner, Lissa L
Seta, Chris L
Shaw, Kirsten L
Shengold, Nina & Maya L
Sheridan, Clare L
Sherlock, James L
Shilaos, Chloe W
Shine, Amy W
Shivers, Samantha L
Short, Jeff W
Short, Jennifer L
Shorthill, Amber L
Sigman, Laura L
Silva, Melissa L
Siple, Eileen L
Sisk, Ashli L
Skinner, Claire W
Skud, Beth W
Slice, Brendizzle L
Smart, Emily L
Smart, Pamela W
Smith, Barb W
Smith, Chris L
Smith, Cindi W
Smith, Dawn L
Smith, Jackson L
Smith, Marcy L
Smith, Matthew L
Smith, Paul L
Smith, Tracy L
Smith, Tracy L
Smitheman, Matt W
Smitko, Paula L
Smy, Jamie L
Snell Nachtsheim, Joyce L
Solan, Hilary W
Solliday, Joanne L
Soper, Ken L
Sorenson, Greg L
Spagg Boggg, Oskar W
Sparks, Diane L
Spencer, Joy L
Spencer, Terra L
Sperry, Arthur W
Sprawls, Jr L
Stacy, Jamie Lynne L
Stark, Kathryn W
Starkowski, Sara W
Stevens, Andy L
Stewart, Jonathan L
Stewart, Mollie L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stiller-Anderson, Chantale L
Stine, Shannon W
Stone-Baltz, Sandra W
Stoneburner, Ann Marie L
Story, Jenny W
Strange, Jinx W
Sudilovsky, Alexis L
Sullivan, David L
Sullivan, Diane L
Sullivan, Jason L
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, Peg L
Sullivan, Rebecca L
Summer, Esther L
Sundberg, Nick L
Sussman, Anne L
Svetlik, Julie W
Swartzell, Steven L
Swedberg, Heidi L
Sweeney, Ginia W
Swiecki, Hannah L
Swiecki, Maria W
Szobota, Nicholas L
T, Alex L
Talley, Jennifer W
Tate, Tim L
Tatrin, M W
Taylor, Hadley W
Taylor, Jack L
Taylor, Julianna L
Taylor, Price L
Teague, Amy L
Teeters, Carol L
Temple, Ruth W
Terry, Gaynelle W
Terzoli, Debbie Jo L
Tetreault, Brian L
Tevyaw, Christine W
Thomas, Cathy L
Thomas, Leila L
Thompson, Julie L
Timms, George W
Tingey, Janet W
Trobaugh, Phillip L
Tropea, Danielle L
Turiel, Josh L
Tyson, Edith W
U, Bruce L
Ulman, Brandon W
Underhill, Amanda W
Underwood, Madison L
V, Alejandra L
Van Noordennen, Pieter L
Vandenbroek, Angela W
Vandercar, Lisa L
Vanmatre, Jennifer L
Vant Leven, Anthony W
Velten, Lorri L
Verneuille, Janet L
Vernon, Joanna L
Vertino, Dave W
Visnov, Michael L
Vogel, Elise W
Volschenk, Donné L
Von Ahn, Lisa L
Von Esenwein, Silke L
Vonasch, Andy W
Voss, Michael L
W, J L
Wacknov, Stacey W
Wagner, Betsy L
Wagner, Essie L
Wahl, Ferris L
Wahl, Luke W
Walker, Erik L
Wallace, Meg L
Ward, Robin L
Ward, Terence L
Ware, Minda Grace L
Watts, Kelly W
Webb, Barbara L
Wegenka-Moretti, Melissa L
Weller, Chris W
Weller, Sherry W
Wellhausen, Rachel L
Wenk, Sarah W
Wertz, Christine L
Wessel Walker, Donna W
Wessel Walker, Mary L
Whitaker, Melissa W
White, Brian L
White, Libby L
Whitehead, Doug L
Whitney, Max L
Whitton, Audra W
Wiedemann, Heidi L
Wilber, Dave W
Wilcott, Lynn L
Wilcox, Janey L
Williams, Katie L
Williams, Michelle W
Willis, Danielle L
Wilson Hall, Bridget W
Wilson, Molly L
Winger, Melissa L
Wingfield, Amber L
Wingo, Bronwyn L
Winter, Stacy W
Winters, Ashley L
Wirth, Diane W
Wise, Newton W
Wojick, Jane W
Wolfe, Alex L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Wood, Shane W
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Mary L
Wright, Diana W
Wuellner, Jane L
X, Joey L
Yarrow, Paul W
Yee, Ken L
Yoder, Patrick L
Young, Amanda L
Zevin, Richie L
Zezzo, Nicole L

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2013

Not Marie, Though
Not Marie, though. (Credit: Susan Campbell Beachy)

The wish begins with such a beautiful sentiment, as wishes often do. The author is well-nigh selfless with paper, toner, and whatever labor was required to affix the holiday message to one of the subway-entrance signs for New York’s Times Square station. Suzi, Lou Lou, and Laura should have a Merry Christmas.

Not Marie, though.

There’s even an exclamation point to mark that dark desire with vitriolic enthusiasm.

Poor Marie, as LDBCer Susan Campbell Beachy, who took that photo once and then went back a second time to make sure she had the best shot she could get, said.

Poor Marie.

In this thing of ours, this mad dash toward daylight with the beat of the bullying Boy badgering us from behind, we are either survivors, or we are Marie. And with the nearly 700 of you dear, dear people who reported in, it looks like 75 percent of us fell in the latter camp this year. (I take it to be a representative sample and extrapolate because, hey—what do you want from me?)

Hundreds of Maries with tragic tales to tell. And a quarter of us with tired smiles of victory.

We did have our high points, to be sure. I won for the first time in four years, while Mrs. LDBC racked up her third-straight “W.” (She says she’s telling the truth. And I, for one, believe her.) We picked up a link from the CBS News site and appeared on the weekend edition of Good Day Sacramento not once, not twice, but three times. (The third one wasn’t posted. I think I may have had something in my teeth.)

And we grew from a high of 1,180 last year to a high of 1,830 on the Facebook page this year. To which I lift a glass of Pappy (yes, I was lucky enough to stumble onto some before it became all the rage), salute you with a hearty “huzzah!” and give to you these results. As always, if you see any mistakes, please comment or send feedback to let us know. And if you don’t see your name here on The Wall, it’s not too late to fill out the form. I won’t change the stats (I’m not that ambitious), but I’ll be happy to add you.

As I say every year, LDBCers, beneath this wiseass facade lurks a wiseass interior with coursing blood pumped by a wiseass heart. But deep within the core, I’m a sentimental fool. And the fact that so many of you show up and take this ridiculous-though-sacred game into your lives, don headphones, and terrorize your children just because I created a Facebook page and a blog never fails to make our holiday.

We mean that sincerely, me and the missus, and we hope you keep coming back and bringing friends and loved ones to share in the joy, stress, and terror. We’ll see you in November.

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

Even you, Marie.

The Quick and the Dead

2013 LDBC Winners and Losers

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

LDBC Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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Hannah Mellicker Bradford’s sister at the moment of her demise

LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

Emily Artruc – L

My first year participating in LDBC, dashed by my own mother.

Susan Beachy – L

Libraries suck.

Deb Campbell – L

Taken down while waiting for my annual mammogram. ‘Cause I was already having such a great day.

Sue Carkner – L

Last Christmas, my brother, developmentally delayed and very ill, found out that I did not have copies of many of the Christmas songs he loved. He insisted—insisted—on giving me copies of his entire collection. Hundreds of songs, many of them horrible. We laughed for hours, as he kept scrolling through his music files on the computer and finding more. He’d triumphantly announce each new addition to my collection. The more I complained, the more he was spurred on to find every last sentimental piece of schmaltz lurking in the dusty corners of his collection.

A few months later, he died, and this is our first Christmas without him. Every song I complained about when he added it to the collection is my new favourite, because it reminds me of him. He didn’t have much, but he had his music, and he just couldn’t resist sharing it with me.

It took less than 24 hours for my brother’s Christmas mix to slay me with the Johnny Cash version of “The Little Drummer Boy.” He would have laughed himself stupid to see my reaction to being taken out of the LDB Challenge in my own home. I can hear his laughter in my head right now. I lost the Challenge, but it was totally worth it.

David Christian – L

A two year streak ended by NPR! I want my pledge money back.

Nora Debenedetto – L

Pa rum pum pum fail.

Molly H – L

I yelled, “Crap!” in a room of 150 under-10s.

Holly Melton – L

I heard it while going through a box of vintage postcards, one of my favorite pastimes. I was gazing at a colorized postcard from the early 1900s. On the front was a girl in a sailor dress in front of a huge pink hydrangea bush. On the back someone had hand-written one sentence: “Isn’t this great?” No, unknown now-dead person. No, it isn’t. I just heard “The Little Drummer Boy.”

Evelyn Peck (Mother LDBC) – L

My son forced me to do this even though I was not registered in this contest!!!!!!!

Linda Renzulli – L

Here I was being an angel of mercy, flying from Idaho to San Francisco to babysit my grandchildren because my son-in-law has just had his fifth heart attack in a year. Here comes Grandma to the rescue, and I get taken out by that rotten little bastard. Fuck it—I need a drink.

Deb Roby – L

From that point forward, the night was cursed. The sprinkles turned to hard rain as I walk to my car. My team was embarrassed in its basketball game. I had both indigestion and insomnia.

Laura Sigman – L

I got taken out while buying meatballs. I am a vegetarian. I got what I deserved.

Eileen Siple – L

I’ve been encouraging my daughter to find a job—and then, on the way to a job interview, the song comes on the radio. That’s what I get for encouraging my daughter to grow up and become a productive member of society.

Julia Skochko – L

Even eggnog rice pudding and zesty Cuban flatbread taste like ashes in one’s mouth after such a horror. [Full version here.]

Jack Taylor – L

I almost drove into a freeway abutment. That song is as dangerous to drivers as texting.

George Timms – L

Everything is fucking terrible and Christmas is ruined.

Pieter Van Noordennen – L

Like so many New York gubernatorial candidates, I, too, was a victim of social media.

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
Aczon, Evan W
Adams, Christoph W
Addison, Libby W
Ahern, Sylvia W
Ajdukiewicz, Jeremy W
Albans, Dylan L
Allmer, Christina W
Alsdorf, Greggory L
Ammerman, Amy W
Anastasia, Shandielle L
Anderson, Susan L
Andrews, Shamela W
Angier, Cynthia L
Antonelli, Lisa L
Archer, John L
Arick, Susan L
Arkenberg, Rebecca L
Arlauckas, Regina L
Artruc, Emily L
Artruc, Tessa L
Austin, Karen L
Ayer, Katy L
B, Kristen L
Baker, Jamie L
Barish, Mike L
Barker, Craig L
Barnes, Gypsy L
Barnes, Jennifer L
Barnett, James W
Barry, Sally W
Bartels, Mary W
Bassi, Laura L
Bauer, Renee W
Beachy, Susan L
Beals, Andrew L
Beebe, Gillian L
Bergtraum, Lisa L
Bernal, Victoria L
Berndt, Nicci L
Bertsche, Katie L
Biando, Becky L
Birkhead, Andrew L
Blanchard, Jan L
Bloss, Amy L
Boardman-Burnette, Lisa L
Bonnet, Gordon L
Booth, Brendon L
Borck, Jeffrey W
Boschee, Lynne L
Boyle, Keri L
Brabec, Kellie L
Braganza, Desiree W
Braine, Bill L
Bremer, Grant W
Brewer, Lauren W
Brilz, Erik L
Brodsky, Pamela W
Broner, Jacqueline L
Brown, Charles L
Brown, Mary Jo W
Brown, Loulie L
Brown, Ben L
Burbank, Valentina L
Burchill, Hannah L
Burek, Julie L
Bures, Debra W
Burman, Kim W
Burnand, Lisa L
Burns, Margo L
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Neil W
Butler, Geoff L
Byrne, Brian L
C, Christy L
Cademan, Captain L
Campbell, Deb L
Campbell, Carolynn L
Campbell, Kat W
Capers, Cindy L
Cardenas, Mary W
Carkner, Sue L
Carroll, Lacey L
Carter, Mary Alice L
Cartoon, Cathy L
Cascio, Jessica W
Caston, Casey L
Cazares, George L
Cedergreen, Ellen L
Chamberlain, Jill L
Chandler, Trey L
Chilson, Dawn W
Christensen, Julie W
Christian, David L
Cicero, Morgan L
Cicero, Donna L
Clark, M L
Clevenger, Carey L
Cochran, Gloria L
Cockrell, Joe L
Cohen, Jay L
Connelly, Irene L
Connolly, Cyndi W
Conway, Nancy L
Cooper, Carrie L
Cooper, Karen W
Copass, Michael L
Coppock, Annie L
Cortez, A.J. W
Counts-Tabor, Deb L
Cox, Anna W
Craig, David W
Crane, Susan L
Crawford, Mindy L
Cretin9, Smokey L
Crosby, Tyler L
Crowe, Jessie W
Crowley, Joseph L
Cummins, Jean L
Cummins, Kirsten L
Cunningham, Stephanie L
Curtis, Tammy W
Damigella, Rick L
Damigella, Lisa W
Danforth, Mary Beth W
Dark, Stephanie L
Dashnaw, Rob L
Davis, Tonya L
Davis, Jonathan L
De Lis, Tara W
Deangelo, Keri L
Debenedetto, Nora L
Decastro-Lobisser, Rena W
Decastro-Lobisser, Rena W
Delange, Lisa L
Delgado, Jennifer L
Denchy, Ruth Ann L
Devine, Roger W
Diamond, Joshua W
Didomizio, Joseph W
Dixon, Jen L
Dixon, Matt L
Dobrinski, Rebecca L
Dominguez, Laura L
Dost, Andy L
Doty, Amy W
Douglas, Kim L
Dowd, James L
Downing, Angela L
Doyle, Eamon W
Drake, Megan L
Durish, Tiffany L
Durso, Elizabeth L
Dushane, Melissa L
Duthie, Holly L
Eckert-Chu, Corrin W
Edwards, Tanya W
Egleton, Simon W
Ellis, Stephanie L
England, Laura L
Epperson, Corey W
Esenwein, Silke L
Espinosa, Andi L
F, Dustin L
F., Shannon L
Falk, Harris L
Farrell, Thomas L
Farrelly, Steve L
Farrington, Kelly W
Fayerman, Jessica W
Feehan, Holly L
Feeney, James L
Fermenich, Justin L
Finkelstein, Elizabeth W
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fiore, Tony L
Fischer, Molly L
Fisher, Stella L
Fisher, Kerry L
Fitter, Fawn W
Flickinger, Megan W
Flinn, Amanda W
Fox, Lizzie L
Franck, Judith W
Frank, Zilpha L
Frank, Libby W
Franz, Amanda L
Freeland, Heather L
Friedman, Leeann L
Friedman, Steve L
Friedman, Jon L
Friedman, Cheryl L
Froemming, Kelly L
G, Cathy L
Gaither, Daigan W
Galbos, Robyn W
Galles, Jill W
Ganey, Sara L
Gannon, Aaron L
Ganz, Claudia L
Gary, Lee L
Gates, Karen L
Geeky, Mister W
Geier, Ted L
Giaimo, Daniel L
Giangrande, Tina L
Ginsberg, Mike W
Goin, Renee L
Goldfarb, David L
Gomolchak, Matt L
Gooch, Steve L
Goodman, Nate L
Gott, Adam W
Grady, Robert W
Grassdottir, Evalena W
Green, Megan L
Gregg, Holly W
Grieve, Kelly L
Griffin, Karen L
Griffiths, Amanda W
Gripman, Jen L
Gripman, Stuart W
Gualtieri, Jessika L
Guthrie, Caroline L
Guzman, Diana L
H, Molly L
H, Lisa L
H, C L
Hadis, Mattski L
Hagel, Kate L
Haglund, Cat L
Hailey, Meredith L
Hallstrom, Kyle L
Hamill, Justin L
Han, Esta W
Hanft, Lila L
Hansen, Will L
Hardy, Susan L
Harrell, James L
Harvey, Larisa L
Haskiell, Joleen L
Hatch, Rollie L
Hauman, Brandy W
Hauser, Jim L
Hawn, Matthew W
Hddn, Jeff L
Hearn, Rachel W
Heineman, James L
Heineman, Lisa W
Helfen, Rob L
Heller, Amos W
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Herrington, Betsy L
Hight, Brian L
Hill, Michael L
Hilligoss, Amy L
Hockett, Rachel L
Hoke, Donna L
Holmes, Leslie And Ben W
Houlihan, Christopher L
Howell, Nancy L
Hubbard, Nathan L
Humphreys, Mary L
Hunewell, Chris L
Hunt, Melinda L
Huntley, Kristen W
Husted, Cate L
Hyland, Mary Pat L
Inman, Mike W
Jackson, Devan L
Jacobson, Meredith W
Janes, Joel L
Jarett, Jennifer W
Jarvis, Jim L
Jeromin, Amanda W
Jess, Dave W
Jimenez, Abbie L
Jo, Debbie L
Johnson, Brian L
Johnson, Barb W
Jones, Matt W
Jones, Karen W
Judge, Serena L
Juhala, Jeff L
Juncker, Chandra W
Kahwaty, Ethan L
Kahwaty, Cole L
Kahwaty, Sabrina L
Kakos, Kristen W
Kalinowski, Tricia L
Kasler, Jo L
Katzman, Jessica L
Kellogg, Krisandra W
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Kevin L
Kemp, Adam L
Kenfield, Micah L
Kief, Kristen L
Kief, Tom L
Kilgore, Addie W
Killian, Raenna W
Killingsworth, Marcia W
Kincaid, Jaime W
King, Kjell L
Kittin, Prairie L
Kittrell, Amanda L
Klaene, Chris L
Klym, Dave L
Kraiger, Michael L
Kranyak, Margaret L
Kukulski, Scott L
Kunz, Nicole L
Lachnit, Carroll L
Lange, Amanda L
Larrow, Gina W
Lawrence, Jamie W
Leavitt, Allen L
Leclair, Joe W
Lefton, Sarah W
Leo, Jennifer W
Lerner, Mark L
Leschen, Caryn L
Levine, J. W
Liao, Jena L
Linder, Gretchen L
Lindsey, Kimberly W
Lindsey, Dave W
Linger, Maria L
Lisa, Lisa L
Lockley, Erin L
Loechner, Kevin W
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Loh, Shirley L
Long, Michael L
Long, Michael L
Luczy, Rebecca L
Lutz, Ericka W
Lyle, Steve W
Lynch-Kohn, Vicky W
Lysne, Lisa L
M, Lisa L
M, Jenn L
M, Julia L
Macdonald, Angus L
Macedo, Barbra L
Macellaio, Matt L
Mackinnon, Bryn W
Maddox, Lauren L
Madison, Anne L
Mae, Jenny L
Mahoney, Joe W
Maier, John L
Manson, Tycho L
Maratas, Vicki L
Marracco, Muffy L
Martin, Adrienne L
Maruca, Joseph L
Masek, Shelli L
Maus, Tara L
Mayo, Josephine L
Mc, Charly W
Mcclough, Seahare W
Mccracken, Rebecca L
Mccraw, Bethany L
Mcdowell-King, Stacy L
Mcgrath, Lauren W
Mcguire, Matt L
Mchen, Sean L
Mcintyre, Chris L
Mckay, Carol L
Mcmanus, Carole L
Mcnutt, Carol W
Medina, Patricia L
Meister, Erin L
Melle, Vivialadocious L
Melton, Holly L
Merk, Lara L
Mewha, Darren L
Michals, Rebecca L
Miera, Tom L
Miller, Don And Marcia W
Miller, Barb W
Milner, Andrew L
Mirenda, Kristen L
Missandrea, Bumper L
Moers, Christine L
Moilanen, Kristin L
Moore, Fernanda L
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morrison, Amy L
Morrison, Cathy L
Morrow, Melissa L
Murphy, Roy W
N, Melissa L
N, Melanie L
N, Lori L
Nadeau, Robin L
Nailen, William L
Nameche, Michael L
Nelson, Terri L
Nelson, Danielle L
Neufeld, Jonathan L
Nickerson, Catherine L
Noel, Morgan L
Nolan, Mike L
Nordstrom, Elizabeth L
Northend, Desiree W
O., Chad L
O’Brien, Nancy W
O’Connor, Sean L
Oehlmann, Peggy L
Olson, Julie L
Oman, Ilisa L
Orr, Amy L
Ostrow, Rachel W
Oswalt, Sandi W
Patchett, Brian L
Patton, Sheryl L
Peck, Denise L
Peck, Mom L
Peck, Larry W
Peck, Michael W
Pedersen, Susie Perry W
Pelletier, Sharon L
Penn, Mary L
Pentasuglia, Merribeth L
Peters, Toni-Maree L
Petit, Marianne L
Petrillo, Sophia L
Phelps, Tracy L
Phillips, Paul L
Pohl, Julianne L
Pojman, Amy L
Poling, Fred L
Polk, Christopher L
Porter, Brett L
Prentice, Kim L
Prentice, David L
Purvis, Shonda L
R, Debbie L
R, Alyssa L
Radding, Reuben W
Radke, M.J.J. L
Rainey, Jerome L
Rakkasah, Heather W
Range, Jennifer L
Ray, J. W
Reardon-Mulhall, Suzanne W
Reed, Tammey W
Reichman, Dana W
Reiss, Randy L
Renfro, Rebecca L
Rensel, Terry W
Renzulli, Linda L
Retzlaff, Denise L
Reynolds, Amanda L
Reznek, Karen W
Ringue, Edward L
Rivera, Susie L
Roberts, Laurie L
Robichaux, Julie W
Robinson, Nancy L
Robinson, Michelle L
Roby, Deb L
Rogal, Dawn L
Rogers-Walker, Deanna L
Rollans, Scott L
Rose, Johanna Maria W
Rose, Mandy L
Rosen, Peg L
Rosen, Lee L
Rosenthal, Pony L
Ross, Andrew L
Ross, Dale W
Ross, Sherri W
Roth, Amy L
Ruggiero, Megan W
Runde, Jenny L
Russell, Kat L
Ruzich, Christian L
S, D.B. L
S, Stephanie L
S, Heath L
Sabbath, Mickey W
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Sales, Hillarie L
Salvador, Phil L
Samaras, Isabel L
Samson, Phil L
Samuelson, Jenny W
Samuelson, Michael W
Savitz, Scott L
Sawalich, Bill L
Sawalich, Shelley L
Sawyer, Megan W
Scarlato, Tracy L
Scheer, Alttara W
Schoenholz, Elon W
Schubauer, Heather L
Schultz, Shirley L
Schwartz, Joseph W
Schwinke, Theo L
Sciullo, Allison L
Scott, Chris L
Seamone, Jeannie L
Seaver, W.A. L
Sebrell, Cheryl L
Segall, Margaret L
Senner, Lissa L
Shap, Pattern L
Shapp, Pattern L
Shea, Kelly L
Shengold, Nina L
Sheppard, Jacob L
Sheridan, Clare L
Shollenberger, Lee Ann L
Short, Jeff W
Shortridge, Nina L
Shrader, Andrew L
Shupe, Tara L
Sigman, Laura L
Silas, Barbara L
Sinclair, Shauna L
Siple, Eileen L
Sisk, Ashli W
Skochko, Julia L
Slice, Brendizzle L
Smith, Jana L
Smith, Shannon L
Smith, Dan W
Smith, Matthew W
Smith, Cindi L
Smith, Tracy L
Smy, Phil L
Smyth, Ann L
Snap, Ginger W
Snell Nachtsheim, Joyce L
Snyder, Bill L
Solliday, Joanne W
Somers, D L
Sorenson, Greg L
Speights, Elizabeth W
Spreen, Tom L
Spring, Nomy W
Stern, Lexi L
Stevens, Andy L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stiffler, Dee L
Strange, Jinx W
Stroud, Stormy L
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, David L
Sullivan, Rebecca L
Sullivan, Jason W
Summer, Esther W
Summer, Esther W
Sussman, Anne L
Swartzell, Steve W
Sweeney, Ginia L
Swift, Lys L
Talley, Jennifer L
Tatrin, M W
Taylor, Jack L
Taylor, Hadley L
Tepper, Michele L
Tetreault, Brian L
Thighs, Miss American L
Thomas, C.D. L
Thompson, Julie L
Timms, George L
Townsend, Jet L
Tracy, Jen L
Turiel, Josh W
Twomey, Patrick L
Underhill, Amanda W
Underwood, Madison L
Upton, Donna L
Van Dyne-Evans, Jessica L
Van Noordennen, Pieter L
Vanmatre, Jennifer L
Vanoss, Ilyssa L
Velez, Julie L
Vertino, Dave L
Vetter, Katie L
Vitale, Joe L
Volschenk, Donné L
Voss, Michael W
Wade, Sonja L
Wahl, Ferris L
Walls, Mathew L
Ward, J Robin L
Ward, Terence L
Ward, Daniel L
Webb, Barbara L
Weber, Kendra W
Wenk, Sarah L
Wenk, Conor W
Wenk, Conor W
Werlein, Christine L
Wertz, Christine L
Wessel Walker, Donna L
White, Libby L
White, Audrey L
White, Brian L
Whitton, Audra L
Wiedemann, Heidi L
Wilhoit, Pam W
Willett, Lindsay L
Williams, Raymond L
Wilson, Molly L
Wilson, Jason L
Winter, Stacy L
Wise, Newton L
Wojick, Jane W
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Wood, Cameo L
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Zach L
Woods, Mary L
Wright, Sarah L
Wright, Patrick W
Wright, Diana W
Wuellner, Jane L
Wyeth, Allison L
Wyght, Deborah W
X, Joey L
Young, Tamara L
Zevin, Richie L
Zezzo, Nicole L
Zions, Jason W
Zoccola, Dianne L

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2012

Brody the Rescue Pug
Tail of woe: Brody the cuddly-but-casualty-causing rescue puh-rum-pum-pum-pug. (Credit: Jonathan Davis)

2012 was a year of gravity-defying growth, LDBCers, beginning the season with about 570 of you and ending it with an astounding 1180 (before some of you apparently tired of my babbling—no, I don’t understand it, either—and unliked the page). We had the altruistic (Kristen Huntley and Jonathan Davis sacrificed themselves for the cute little pooch above, which came out of a 3-D printer, or had a microchip embedded in him, or something). We had the villains (Christine Butkiewicz didn’t mince marital words about who was to blame for her demise—it was her hubby). And we had the manipulators (Darren Mewha asked a group of charity carolers for a set list before he allowed them to proceed). We also nabbed new press mentions from the wonderful folks at CNET and the Chicago Sun-Times “Our Town” blog.

But most of all, we flourished or perished together, comforting and kicking, bolstering and berating, crowing and cursing (and oh, was there a lot of cursing—you people are never happier than when you’re lobbing f-bombs, and I join you in your enthusiastic embrace). So here again (and late again, which is becoming a beloved tradition), are the results. If you see that I got it wrong, please comment or send feedback to let us know. And if you’re not on The Wall, it’s not too late to fill out the form.

It’s also not too late to laugh yourself silly at Mrs. LDBC’s killer rundown of “12 Days of Christmas Songs Worse than LDB.”, our LDBCer Dispatches, or even last year’s post-game wrap-up.

This thing wouldn’t work if it weren’t for you, LDBCers. The fact that you show up and populate the page with your wonderful and hilarious comments and reports makes the holiday for us, and we deeply appreciate it. So until the 2013 edition, thank you from the bottom of our grown-three-sizes hearts.

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

The Quick and the Dead

2012 LDBC Winners and Losers

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

LDBC Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

Kristen Huntley – L

My husband (Jonathan Davis – L) and I were walking our dogs when an adorable pug without a collar or tags joined our pack. [See photo above—Ed.] He was a total doll — we tried to knock on doors in the neighborhood, but no one knew who he belonged to. We packed him up in the car and took him to our vet’s office to see if he had a microchip. While we were waiting, Bing & Bowie came onto the radio. Vet’s office got very concerned when we both started shouting, “Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty!”

The good news is: little Brody was reunited with his people, who were visiting from Washington, DC.

Rollie Hatch – L

I immediately left the store without buying anything.

Barb Johnson – L

Grrrrrr.

Irene Connelly – L

The produce section of a Safeway in Bethesda, Maryland. Bob Seger. It was hideous. … Two wins in a row, and now this. I never did like Bethesda that much. At all, really.

Valerie Sacchetti – L

I was eating my favorite breakfast sandwich. It tastes like magic, so I was bitter, but okay.

Jacqueline Broner – L

RICHARD F—–G MARX.

Ana Cardio – L

All I wanted was a lousy snack before dinner, and instead, I got taken out. I shake my fist at you, LDB!

Sarah Horncastle – L

I console myself with the fact that at least I didn’t fall in a Wal-Mart. That really was my biggest fear!

Gretchen Linder – L

I now hate Rockefeller Center and the giant tree.

James Barnett – W

OONTS OONTS OONTS OONTS. [This is the sound of Mr. Barnett moonwalking to victory.—Ed.]

MaryJo Brown – W

I chose to pick a fight with my spouse, take a pill and go to bed rather than risk losing the LDBC in the homestretch last night!

Harris Falk – W

Not even the headless ghost of Walt Disney could take me out.

Adam Gott – W

Finally, I can stop looking like such an a–hole—wearing headphones in every store and making the clerks talk over them!!!

Mark Murray – W

I can come out of my spider hole now.

Terry Wolfisch Cole – W

[T]his year, I survived two holiday parties, numerous shopping excursions, and one Holiday on Ice special featuring Brian Boitano. See you in 2013!

Joey X – L

I hate that little f–ker.

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
Denise L
Abbott, Ned L
Abel, Susan L
Abel, Susan Hay L
Abel, Jeremy W
Abramowski, Keith L
Adair, David L
Addison, Libby L
Adrienne, Michael L
Ahern, Nancy L
Albright, Kristen Strong L
Allen, Michael J. W
Althoff, Andrew L
Anastasia Harshbarger, Shandielle W
Anderson, Susan L L
Andrews, Shamela L
Andrews, Shamela L
Andrews, Lisa W
Andrews, Marcus L
Anselmo, Barbara W
Antonelli, Lisa Joanne L
Arnold, Jonathan L
Arnold, Richard L
Arnold, Brian W
Ascencio, Monique I. L
Austin, Karen D. L
Averill, Christian L
Badger, Honey L
Baker, Elizabeth L
Baker, Beth McMahon L
Baker, Jamie L
Banasek, Megan L
Barnett, James W
Barrett, Liz L
Barta, Steve L
Bartram, Michele L
Bassett, Kim L
Bassi, Laurie L
Bauer, Renee (Mrs. LDBC) W
Beachy, Mike L
Beachy, Susan L
Beebe, Gillian L
Bennett, Angela L
Bentley, Dawn L
Berg, Steve L
Bernal, Victoria Poppy L
Berndt, Nicci W
Bersano, Robbie L
Bertsche, Katie W
Betty, Isaac L
Biando, Becky L
Bichsel-Ingold, Stefanie W
Birkemeier, Glenn L
Blackburn, Barak L
Blair, Natily Ginger Snap L
Blanchard, Joanne L
Blanchard, Amy L
Blanchard, Amy Shamel L
Blatt, Jesse L
Blom, Ashley L
Bluestein, Carly L
Bluestein, Lisa L
Bodie, Jennifer L
Bogardus, Marsha Leigh L
Boni, Paul L
Borchardt, Jennifer W
Boschee, Lynne Adams L
Bot, Sooshe W
Boyle, Bridget Joyce L
Bradley, Sumner L
Braine, Bill L
Brand, Amanda W
Brekke, Carolie L
Breland, Jennifer Multiverse L
Bremer, Grant L
Bristol, Kaylei L
Brock, Glenny L
Brody, Larry L
Broner, Jacqueline L
Brooks, Steve W
Brown, Ben L
Brown, Loulie L
Brown, Steven Ray L
Brown, MaryJo W
Buck, Clay L
Burchill, Hannah W
bures, debra W
Burnand, Lisa L
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Neil W
Byers, Brooke L
C., Christy L
Caldwell, Mandee L
Campbell, Deb L
Campbell, Carolynn W
Candow, Cheyenne W
Caporossi, Suzanne L
Cardio, Ana L
Carey, Jeanette W
Carkner, Sue L
Carr, Mary Alice L
Carrier, Heidi W
Carrier, Jeff L
Casey, Peggy Stentz L
Caston, Casey L
Chadwick, Jonathan L
Chandler, Trey W
Chilson, Dawn L
Christensen, Julie L
Christensen, Julie L
Christian, David W
Cicero, Morgan L
Cicero, Donna Hutchison L
Coffaro, Paul L
Cohen, Jay L
Cohen, Barbara L
Cole, Emily L
Collesano, Michael L
Collier, Lauren L
Connelly, Irene L
Cooley, Martha L
Copass, Mike L
Corbell, Miranda Hill L
Corless, Allie L
Cornish, Scott L
Counts-Tabor, Deb L
Crane, Susan W
Crawford, Mindy Gulden L
Creamer-White, Jennifer L
Crosby, Tyler L
Crowley, Andrew L
Cummins, Kirsten W
Cunningham, Stephanie Yamashita L
Curtis, Tammy L
Daboo, Kim W
Danforth, Mary Beth L
danna, sherryann L
Dark, Stephanie Fishkin L
Dauphin, Marianne L
Davis, Jonathan L
Davis, Laurie W
Davis, Matthew W
Davis, Tina W
Davis Pitt, Beth W
de la Smy, Jamie L
DeBenedetto, Nora Martinez L
DeLange, Lisa L
Delarosa, Matthew L
Deming, Susan L
Denchy, Ruth Ann L
Devine, Sharon L
DiDomizio, Joseph W
Diehl, Lisa Levin-Gerbick L
Dixon, Jennifer L
Dixon, Stephen L
Doron, Alison L
Doron, Meredith L
Doron, Sue McDonald L
Dost, Andy L
Dougherty, Jennifer W
Douglas, Kim L
Dowell, Jenn L
Downing, Angela Reiner L
Dozetos, Barbara W
Dragonsfyr, Stephanie W
Draper, Dave W
Dumont, Gabrielle L
DuPriest, Matt L
Durish, Tiffany Crumb L
DuShane, Melissa Crosson L
Duthie, Holly L
Dye, Jessie L
Eastin, Patty L
Eckert-Chu, Corrin L
Edington, Jillian L
Edwards, Gavin W
Edwards, Tanya L
Ellis, Michelle L
Erwin, Robin L
Espinosa, Andelee L
Falk, Harris W
Feehan, Holly Olson L
Ferguson, Erika Nelson L
Ferguson, Pat L
Ferioli, Peter L
Ficcio, Donna Territo L
Fichtelberg, Aaron L
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fintschenko, Pete L
fiore, tony L
Fiore, Anthony L
Fischer, Molly Lenore L
Fisher, Stella L
Fitzgerald-Aylward, Heather L
Fleckenstein, Katie L
Fleetwood, Katie L
Fletcher, Kristin L
Forfia, Angela L
Fox, Elizabeth L
Francesca, Francesca O L
Frank, Libby L
Frank, Judith Symonds W
Frank, Janice Butler L
Friedman, Cheryl L
Friedman, LeeAnn L
Friedman, Steve L
Friedman-Boyce, Inez L
Fry, Michael L
Fusco, John L
G, J L
Gaither, Daigan L
Galdieri, Julie W
Galinson, Stephanie L
Galles, Aaron L
Galles, Jill L
Ganey, Sara Nuelle L
Gannon, Aaron L
Garrett, Michael L
Gatesy, Matthew L
Gentzler, Jennifer Weller W
Gerstbrein, Eric L
Gertrude, Bella L
Giangrande, Tina W
Gibson, Ben W
Godwin, Bryan L
Goff, Cathy O’Beirne L
Goguen, Etienne W
Goin, Renee Leonard L
Goldfarb, David A. L
Goldman, Nathan W
Goldman-Van Nostrand, Lisa L
González, DJ L
Gooch, SC L
Goodman, Nate L
Gorman, Steve L
Gott, Adam W
GR, Jessica W
Graeler, Ryan L
Grassdottir, Evalena W
Griffith, Kerrin W
Griffiths, Amanda L
Griner, Joe L
Gripman, Ben W
Gripman, Jen W
Gripman, Stuart W
Gualtieri, Jessika L
Guthrie, Caroline W
Gypsies, Goddess Of W
Gz, Ma L
Hagel, Kate Curran L
Hallstrom, Kyle L
Hankins, Jana Knable L
Hanses, Ben L
Harkey, Sharon W
Harrison, Patricia Moley L
Hatch, Rollie L
Hatton, Karl W
Hauser, Jim L
Hawn, Matthew L
Hddn, Jeff L
Heaney, Tim L
Hegedus, Eric W
Heller, Amos L
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Henry, Christopher W
Hernandez, Dave L
Herrington, Betsy L
Hill, Christine L
Hobaica, Joe L
Hobby, Zoe E L
Hoke, Donna W
Holcomb, Mike W
Holly, Miz L
Holmes, Leslie W
Hooper, Matt 0
Hoover, Melissa L
horncastle, sarah L
Hornyak, Jeff W
Hotchkiss, Liz W
Houlihan, Christopher L
Huber, Joanna L
Humphreys, Mary W
Hunt, Melinda W
huntley, kristen L
Husted, Cate L
Hyland, Mary Pat L
Igoe, Tom L
Ingmundson, Kris L
Irwin, Grace L
Jackson, Jonathan L
Jacobson, Meredith W
Jamma, Samma W
Jarett, Jennifer W
Jenkins, Leanne L
Jenkins, Melinda L
Jess, Dave L
Johnson, Barb L
Johnson-Fong, Jennifer L
Johnston, Maura L
Jones, Karen L
Jones, Erin L
Jones, Karen L
Joseph, Jeff W
Joyner, Regina W
Juncker, Chandra Bellamy L
Kakos, Kristen W
Kamm, Lisa L
Kasler‎, Jo חנה L
Kavanaugh, Barb Bayers L
Kellogg, Krisandra L
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Kevin W
Kenyon, Cody L
KH, Molly W
Kief, Kristen W
Kincaid, Jaime W
King, Meggin L
Kirby, Jenn L
Kirklin, Steven W
Kittrell, Amanda L
Knapp, Hannah L
Knowles, Julie Hutchinson L
Kohl, Erica L
Kraiger, Michael L
Krueger, Caroline W
Kunz, Nicole W
Kyla, Cox L
La Rue, Karen L
LacQuaye, Jennifer W
Lai, Annette L
Langdell, James W
Lange, Amanda W
Larrow, Gina W
Larson, Melina L
Laurent, Rebekah L
Lawrence, Deena L
LAWRENCE, JAMIE W
LDBC, Mama L
LeClair, Joe W
Lee, Soojung W
Lefton, Sarah L
Lent, Kristie Drury L
Leo, Jennifer L
Lerner, Mark W
Lewis, Suzanne L
Liao, Jena L
Linder, Gretchen L
Loechner, Kevin L
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Long, Michael L
Lopez, Gabe W
Loveland, Sheila W
Luckey, Dan L
Lutz, Ericka L
Lynch, Eli C. L
Lynch-Kohn, Vicky L
Lysne, Lisa L
Lysne, Lisa L
MacDuffee, Catherine W
Macellaio, Matt L
MacKinnon, Bryn L
Madara, Harry E W
Maier, John W
Manley, Marianna Delinck L
Manley, Kirk Clayton L
Manson, Tycho L
Marie, Stephanie W
Marracco, Muffy L
Marshall, Heidi Hebron L
Marykuca, Brent L
Maslar, Allison Fitzpatrick L
Matheson, Edith L
Maxwell, Jennifer L
Mayes, Candi L
Mayes, Donald L
Mayo, Josephine L
McClough, Seahare L
McConnell, Charlotte W
McCullagh, Angie L
McCullagh, Jim L
McCullough, Mike L
McDaris, John L
McDonald, Andrew W
McElreath, Tim L
McHugh, Christine L
McIntyre, Chris L
McKnight, Nikki L
McManus, Carole Newton L
McNutt, Carol Thomson L
McUne, Jennifer W
Meacham, Alyshondra Stay L
Medvick, Alan L
Meister, E. L
Mellicker, Reya L
Melton, Holly W
Meredith, Nudo L
Meredith, Elizabeth W
Metzner, Joerg L
Mewha, Darren W
Miera, Tom L
Mignone, Bernadette W
Miler, Ralph L
Miller, Don L
Milligan, Jennifer L
Mirenda, Kristen L
Miss-Andrea, Bumper L
Monaco, Michael L
Montanari, Mike L
Moore, Megan L
Moore, Fernanda W
Morayati, Katherine L
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morris, Todd L
Morrison, Amy L
Morrison, Cathy L
Morrison, Maria L
Morrison, Twila L
Morse, Tracy W
Morton, Amy L
Mulhall, Suzanne W
Murphy, Roy L
Murphy, Megan L
Murray, Mark W
Murray, Sandra W
Nachtsheim, Joyce Snell L
Nadig, Lori Boero L
Nak, Liz L
Neifeld, Emily L
Neilclan, Starry W
Nelson, Bradley L
Newlands, Samantha W
Nick Walahala, Sallucci L
Noel, Morgan L
Nolan, Mike L
Nordstrom, Elizabeth W
Northend, Desiree L
Noseworthy, Tery W
November, Sharyn W
Nugent, Sharon L
Oakes, Mary Kay Metzger L
Ochoa, Cassie Jo L
Oh’Snarky, Katy W
Olbrecht, Michael L
Olsen-Jacobsen, Gretchen L
Olson, Julie L
Orr, Amy L
osborne, jacob W
Owens, David W
Padgett, Ray L
Palsson, Carrie Badorek L
Paws, Santa L
Peck, Denise L
Peck, Larry W
Peck, Michael (Mr. LDBC) L
Peters, Toni L
Petit, Marianne R. L
Pfeiffer, Karl L
Plummer, Noel W
Poling, Fred W
Poling, Isabel 0
Poling, Reuben W
Polzin, Kim L
Porter, Brett G L
Portnoi, Dimitri W
Potter, Jeff L
Prebble, Hollt L
Prentice, Kim Drogan L
Prentice, Dave L
Preston, Kathy W
Printz, Irit L
Rackham, Tracy L
Radding, Reuben L
Rafferty, Tess L
Ragan, Greg W
Randall, Stephanie W
Range, Jennifer L
Reardon, Dave L
Record, Drew W
Reed, Tammey L
Reichman, Dana L
Reiss, Randy L
Renfro, Rebecca L
Renzulli, Linda L
Reznek, Karen L
Rice, Shelley Rochel L
Richard, Noah L
Rickert, Crista Harris L
Roberts, Brett W
Roberts, Laurie Wong L
Robichaux, Julie L
Robicheaux, Julie L
Robinson, Michelle L
Ronca, Debbie L
Rose, Mandy L
Rose, Michelle W
Rosen, Peg L
Rosenblum, Sarah W
Rosenthal, Pony L
Ross, Andrew W
Rossean, Kami L
Roth, Amy L
Rowe, Rachel L
Ruggiero, Megan W
Runde, Jenny W
Russell, Kate Slater L
Russo, Dann L
Ruzich, Christian L
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sacrebleu, Kate L
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Safford, Kevin L
Salvador, Phil L
Sanchez-Murphy, Heather L
Sanford, Alaine L
Santistevan Elin, Donna L
Sawalich, Shelley Friesz L
Sawin, Anna L
Sawin, Anna L
Schaefer, Dan L
Scheer, Alttara W
Schnapper, Kathy L
Schulz, Wendy L
Schwartz, Sarah L
Sciullo, Allison Cubbage L
Sears, Christina L
Seaver, W.A. W
Segall, Margaret W
Senner, Lissa Robertson L
Severson, Kim L
Shea, Kelly L
Sheppard, Lisa L
Sheridan, Maria Cox L
Sherwood, Linda L
Shollenberger, Lee Ann L
Short, Jennifer L
Sigman, Laura L
Simmons, Shari Kelm L
Siple, Eileen W
sisk, ashli W
Skaught, Bradley W
Skinner, Claire W
Skinner, Margaret L
Skochko, Julia L
Sladen, Jane W
Slice, Brendizzle L
Smart, Pamela L
Smith, Lianne L
Smith, Karen L
Smith, Matthew L
Smith, Chris L
Smith, Jeanette L
Smith, Shelley L
Smith, Shannon W
Smotherman, Shelby W
Smyth, Neal L
Soeder, Molly L
Sohl, Judy Wickwire L
Solliday, Joanne L
Solomon, Joshua L
Sorenson, Greg L
Sorokoff, Carrie L
Sparks, Diane L
Speights, Lizzy W
Spreen, Tom W
Spring, Nomy W
Stadelmaier, Carol Eggert L
Staicer, Carmen L
Stamatiades, Flora ‘Lola’ L
Steffen, Chris L
Stephen, Alison Welsh L
Stern, Lexi L
Stevens, Andy L
Stevens, Doug L
Stewart, Dan L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stone-Baltz, Sandra Dvorsky L
Strack, Sandra L
Sullivan, Diane L
Sullivan, Jim L
Summer, Esther L
Sussman, Anne L
Svensson, Anders L
Swedberg and the SukeyJump Band, Heidi L
Sweeney, Ginia L
T, Megan W
Talley, Jennifer L
Tatrin, Mikhail L
Taylor, Hadley L
Taylor, Jason L
Taylor, Jack Emery L
Taylor, Lori Bryngelson L
Taylor, Matt L
Teeter, Don L
Teeters, Carol Reynolds L
Tepper, Michele L
Tetreault, Brian L
Thomas, Cathy D L
Thompson, Julie Ogden L
Thompson, Dylan W
Thompson, Erik Zelda L
Thurman, Thomas L
Thurman, Carri W
Timms, George L
Turchette, Alicia Kloesel L
Turowsky, Andi L
Tuyn, Andrea L
Underhill, Amanda L
Underhill, Amanda L
van Noordennen, Pieter L
Van Oss, Ilyssa L
VanMatre, Jennifer L
Varela, Ashley L
Velten, Lorri L
Vertino, Dave L
Visnov, Michael L
Von Ahn, Lisa L
Von Brilzovich, Erich Bruno L
Voss, Danae L
W, Honora W
Wagner, Essie L
Wahl, Ferris L
Walsh, John L
Walsh, Krista L
Ward, Terence P L
Ward, J. Robin L
Watson, Michael L
Weber, Kendra L
Wegenka-Moretti, Melissa W
Weinert, Sara L
Wenk, Sarah L
Wertz, Christine L
Wessel Walker, Mary W
Westbrook, Mel L
Whalen, Connor W
Whalen, Quinn W
White, Libby L
White, Beth L
White, Dave L
White, Dave L
Whitesides, Zee W
Whitright II, Terry W
Whitton, Audra L
Wiener, Adam L
Wilcox, Kirstin L
Wilcox, Michele W
Williams, Raymond L
Williams, Susan L
Wilson, Molly Logan L
Winslow, Lisa Davies L
Wise, Newton L
Wolbach, Erika L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry W
Wood, Dana L
Works, Laura L
Wright, Diana W
Wyght, Deborah W
Wyland, Susan L
X, Joey L
Yarbrough, Susan H L
Yoder, Patrick L
Yukich, Rachel L
Zellmer, Kirsten L
Zoccola, Dianne L
Zutterling, Amy L

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2011

‘Twas a mighty eventful Challenge this year, LDBCers. We started with 98 of you and ended with 577 (578 until some intolerant soul un-liked the page—can you imagine?). We had mentions in The Village Voice and The Onion AV Club, and your humble LDBC Master was interviewed (and voluntarily knocked out of the game) on WNYC’s Soundcheck. We lived, laughed, and loved together—though never in person and never explicitly, so there’s nothing that would hold up in court. And we won or lost based on skill, strategy, and plain-old dumb luck (mostly the latter), supporting and mocking one another in equal measure. And now, after all my procrastination has run its course, we see the results.

I’ll let the numbers speak for themselves. As you’ll note, the win-loss columns don’t add up to 577, and that’s because not everyone reported back with a result. No matter, though; you work with the data you have and the stories behind the figures.

And what stories there were. Gretchen Linder was taken down by Charlotte Church and someone named Joe Clantz, who “gleefully” ran over to point out that it was playing at the office Christmas party. (Sorry, Joe—you’re not an LDBCer, and you’re a heartless fink, to boot, so no bolded font for you.) Libby Frank is married to a man who shrugged her loss off, saying merely, “You realize it’s not actually a real thing, right?” Likewise, Jen Gager has chosen to spend her life with a lout who laughed at her misfortune. Tanya Edwards was struck down while buying ingredients for mojito Jello shots … and I’ll never let her forget it, though I doubt she will anyway. John McPartlin blamed his young daughter for making him go to Boston Market instead of Chipotle, and he was in good company since many an LDBCer was killed off through the actions and choices of unthinking loved ones.

The numbers tell the story of who prevailed and who succumbed, though they don’t convey how people such as Richard Arnold and Chris Smith cursed in front of strangers and acquaintances when they heard the fatal notes. (It’s left to me to do that, so I just did.) They tell the story of who killed off the most LDBCers (the Killer Bs of Bing, Bowie, Bob Seger and Justin Bieber) and the most perilous spots to be (retail stores, followed by home-sweet-home and restaurants). And they tell us … well, I guess that’s pretty much all they have to say.

And this is pretty much all I have to say, too: When you think about it, we’re all winners. Except for, of course, those of us who didn’t actually win. But so we beat on, year after year, and that’ll do it for this one. Thanks, as always, for playing, and we’ll see you in November.

Oh, and this: Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

The Quick and the Dead

LDBC Winners and Losers

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

LDBC Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Those Honored, Those Remembered

Name Result
Aaron Gannon L
Aileen Stickley L
Alan Becker L
Alison Ashe L
Alison Ʊ Doron L
Alttara Scheer W
Alyson Sadofsky L
Amanda Kittrell L
Amanda Lange L
Amelia Saurus L
Amy Elizabeth W
Amy Pojman L
Amy Roth W
Ana Tatsumi L
Anand ShutDown R W
Anders Svensson L
Andrew Crowley L
Andrew Dost L
Andrew Shrader L
Andy Johnson L
Andy Stevens L
Angela Fabiani L
Ania Ziemirska W
Anna Carideo L
Anne Sussman L
Anthony Fiore L
Aron Willey L
Ashli Sisk L
Audra Whitton L
Barb Johnson L
Becky Lyons Borgia L
Beth McMahon Baker L
Beth White L
Bob Britten L
Bonnie Adamski Lewis L
Brent Marykuca L
Bruce Malone W
Bryn MacKinnon L
Bumper Miss-Andrea L
Carol Aplin L
Carol Eggert Stadelmaier L
Carol Getz Abolafia L
Caroline Loy L
Carolyn Loeffler L
Carolynn Cambpell L
Caryn Havlik L
Catherine Wells Husted L
Cathy Morrison L
Chandra Asar L
Chandra Bellamy Juncker L
Charlie Brown L
Charlie Martin L
Chris Masling L
Chris McIntyre L
Chris Smith L
Chris Weller L
Christine Griffard Licata L
Christine Moore Desnoyer L
Christine Strouse Treadwell L
Christine Wertz L
Christopher Burns L
Christopher Houlihan W
Claire E. Skinner W
Claire Milto L
Claudia Stone L
Cody Kenyon L
Da’Nara Shupe W
Dan Stewart L
Daniel Aaron Weir L
David Briggs Cudworth L
David Grainger W
David McLary L
David Moore L
David Simmer II W
Debbie Ronca L
Debra Lean Campbell L
Desiree Northend L
Diana Gilliland Wright L
Donna Hoke W
Donna Hutchison Cicero L
Doug Whitehead L
Ed Ahrenhoerster L
Elijah Philipp L
Elizabeth Baker L
Elsa Ingpen L
Emily Cole L
Eric Hildebrand L
Erica Chase-Salerno W
Erica Yu L
Ericka Lutz L
Essie Wagner L
Esther Summer L
Evalena Grassdottir L
Gabe Lopez L
Gabrielle Bollaert L
Geoff Morrison L
George Timms L
Gretchen Linder L
Hadley Taylor W
Hannah Burchill L
Harry Henderson L
Holly Duthie L
Holly Melton L
Irene Connelly W
Irit Printz L
Isaac Betty L
J.r. Sprawls L
Jacqueline Broner W
James Allen L
James Barnett L
Jamie Baker L
Jamie Rahdar L
Jana Steiger Hoffman L
Jane Wojick L
Janey Wilcox W
Jay Cohen L
Jed Levin L
Jeff Carrier L
Jeff Hddn L
Jeff Joseph L
Jen Gager L
Jen Gripman L
Jen Rew L
Jena Liao L
Jenn Dougherty L
Jennifer Bodie L
Jennifer Borchardt L
Jennifer HunnyBadjer Creamer-White L
Jennifer Leo L
Jennifer Prather L
Jennifer VanMatre L
Jenny Runde L
Jessica Troilo L
Jill Brandt Fitzpatrick L
Jill Cimorelli L
Jill Galles L
Jill Naylor Chamberlain L
Jim Hauser L
Jo חנה Kasler L
Joanne Carey Blanchard L
Joanne Solliday L
Joe Berletic L
Joe Hobaica L
Joe LeClair L
John McPartlin L
John Walsh L
Jonathan A Neufeld L
Joseph Lillo L
Josh Kaput W
Joyce Snell Nachsheim W
Julia Skochko L
Julie Robichaux L
Kailyn Kent L
Karen D. Austin L
Karen Griffin L
Karen Jones L
Kat Keeley L
Kat Slater Russell L
Kate Curran Hagel L
Kate Rayland House L
Kate Schroeder L
Katherine Morayati L
Katherine Turman W
Kathy Schnapper L
Keith Abramowski L
Kevin Colligan L
Kevin Kelly L
Kevin Loechner L
Kevin Safford L
Kim Drogan Prentice L
Kimberley Grant L
Kirsten Cummins L
Kristen Kakos L
Kristen Kief L
Kristin Fletcher L
Laura Sigman L
Laura Ward W
Lauran Burrell L
Laurie Bassi L
Laurie Kutoroff L
Lee Rosen L
Lee Warren L
Leigh M. Johnson L
Lexi Stern L
Lianne Smith L
Libby Frank L
Libby Hall W
Libby White L
Lily Burana L
Linda Foley Renzulli L
Lisa DeLange L
Lisa Kamm W
Lisa Lysne L
Lisa Ng W
Lisa Taylor Andrews L
Lisa Von Ahn L
Lori Newton L
Luke Wahl L
Luna Tik L
Lynette Hoke Meslinsky L
Lys Amlaw Swift L
Maggie Keiley L
Mame McCutchin L
Mandy Rose W
Margaret Borger L
Marianne Dauphin L
Marianne R. Petit L
Marissa Hoover L
Mark Lerner L
Martha Bader L
Mary Evelyn Humphreys W
Mary Gregorio L
Mary Kay Metzger Oakes L
Mary-Ann Roach L
MaryJo Hobaica Brown W
Matt Eyman L
Matt Rogers L
Matthew Davis L
Matthew Horton L
Matthew Savard L
Matthew Smith L
Maura Lynch L
Maureen McDonald Ramsay L
Megan Moncrief W
Megan Ruggiero L
Melody King Siracusa W
Meredith Nudo W
Michael Collesano L
Michael Kraiger L
Michael W Cummins L
Michele Rhoades L
Michele Tepper L
Michelle Rose W
Mike Holcomb L
Milon Nagi L
Molly Ker Hawn L
Morgan Noel L
Muckrel Carey L
Nadya Soto L
Nancy Ahern L
Nancy Duggan L
Nathan Goldman L
Neal Smyth L
Neil Butler L
Nick Distler L
Nikki McKnight L
Noah Richard L
Nora Martinez DeBenedetto L
Pamela Dye L
Pamela Smart L
Pat Ferguson L
Patricia D’Ambroso L
Paul W. Smith L
Paul Yarrow L
Peg Rosen L
Penny Little Hawk L
Peter Dworkin L
Phil Salvador L
Pieter Van Noordennen W
Randy Reiss W
Rebecca Renfro L
Renée Bauer W
Restless Photography L
Reuben Poling L
Richard Arnold L
Robert Dunn L
Robert Wolf L
Robin Hernandez L
Roger Oliver L
Ronit Bezalel W
Rush Brady L
Sag Ittandy L
Sandra Stone-Baltz L
Sara Smith Sangermano L
Sara Wright L
Sarah E. H. Wolfe L
Sarah Hargus Ferguson L
Sarah Horncastle L
Sarah Michelle Key L
Sarah Springer L
Sarah Wenk L
Scott Cornish L
Scott Heller L
Scott Sandstrom L
Sean Curry W
Shamela Andrews W
Shannon Smith L
Sooshe Bhat W
Starry Neilclan L
Stefanie Bichsel-Ingold W
Steph Tember L
Stephanie Fishkin Dark L
Stephen Berg L
Sue McDonald Doron L
Susan Campbell Beachy L
Susan Deming L
Susan Drucker Ericson W
Susie Milner L
Susie Perry Pedersen L
Suzanne Caporossi L
Suzanne Reardon-Mulhall L
T J JoAnne Phister L
Tanya Edwards L
Tara Brouwer W
Tara Shupe L
Terence Patrick Ward W
Terry Wolfisch Cole L
Thalia Considine W
Tiffany Provencher W
Tiffany Woods L
Tim Heaney L
Tina Giangrande L
Tom Spreen L
Tommy Carter L
Trey Chandler L
Twila Morris L
Tycho Manson L
Valerie Moloney L
Vaness Castro Resweber L
Victoria Poppe Bernal L
W.A. Seaver W
Whalen Connor L
William Altreuter L
Zach Whitesides L