Day -335: There’s Got to Be a Morning After

Mr. LDBC (Michael Peck)
Goodbye, Boy; Hello, Bed Head: Mr. LDBC’s Victory LDBC-Elfie

And there you have it, friends—another Challenge in the books. I’ll keep this uncharacteristically brief except to say that I realized I’m always asking others to bravely post in-the-moment LDBC-elfies when I haven’t done it myself in a while. (Last year was just my hand.) So here’s my characteristically grim countenance, which looks the same in winning and in defeat. Plus a bit of “I’ll just smash my hair down” grooming for good measure. (You’d think I’d look happier, considering I also woke up to a nifty write-up on Boing Boing. But my face has just one setting, expression-wise: Easter Island moai.)

You know the drill, all. Share your victory LDBC-elfies as comments to a post on the Facebook page, tweet it out and tag @LDBChallenge, or post it to Instagram and tag @ldbchallenge.

Don’t forget to fill out the form (bit.ly/LDBCform) so that I’m working with comprehensive stats when I crunch all the numbers and post the wrap-up (halfway through January, at the rate I’ve been going).

And if you can, please send a little something to Americares, which is our chosen charity. A donation is not something anyone has to do, but if you’re so inclined, the money goes to a great organization, and you can donate here.

Oh, and some of you have asked where you might find my books, which I appreciate. You can read about the series here.

Thanks, as always, for helping to keep me sane during the season, people. Happy Holidays to you and yours, and I’ll see you when I post the wrap-up.

For Peter!

A little help, if you can: once again, we’re battling the darkness that is The Boy by trying to shed some light on the situation. So if you’re willing and able to help this year, Americares is who we’re giving to this year.

As I say every year, there’s no obligation. Everybody’s welcome in this Thing of Ours, whether you contribute or not. But if you can, Americares is a great organization.

Please donate here.

Day 26: But First They Must Catch You

Aileen Stickley, Mike Melton, Rhedde Bachs
Land of the Lost: Aileen Stickley, Mike Melton, Rhedde Bachs

“All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you…”

— Richard Adams

There’s a moment in one of my favorite books, Watership Down, that reminds me of the point in the game we’re at now. (And if you’ve never read the novel or seen the 1978 animated movie, I highly recommend both. Just don’t assume that cartoon bunnies are suitable fare for younger kids, however, because the film’s pretty dark, bloody, and violent.)

Bigwig, the toughest fighter among the hero rabbits of the tale, has acquitted himself in battle far better than his opponent, the much larger General Woundwort, expected. And though bloodied and badly wounded, Bigwig uses a break in the fighting to reposition himself for a final face-off. When Woundwort returns to kill him, the general realizes that’s going to be much harder than he’d bargained for and offers to let Bigwig live if he’ll switch sides.

“My Chief Rabbit has told me to defend this run,” Bigwig replies, “and until he says otherwise I shall stay here.”

And oh, does he.

That’s about where we are in this Thing of Ours, friends. We passed the milestone of 500 fallen four days ago, and we’re steadily marching toward 600 today. We’re hurting, we’re tired, and we’re not sure who’s going to make it when so many haven’t.

But we’re here. And that stinkin’ kid better watch his ass, lest we knock him on it to get to the daylight behind him.

Hang tough, people. We’re not far now.

Do it for yourselves.

For those no longer with us.

For Peter.

Look sharp, stay vigilant, and cross that line as one.

But as always, should you fall, fill out the reporting form (https://bit.ly/LDBCform), share an LDBC-elfie by commenting on a Facebook page post, or tweet it out and tag @LDBChallenge.

(And my apologies for the inability to create a new post on the page; I’ve checked every setting, and though you should be able to, you can’t. I blame Zuck.)

We’re almost there, folks.

LDBC-Elfies: A Chronicle of Faces Fallen

  • Marine M.
  • Karl L.
  • Lynn Sebrell
  • Muffy Marracco
  • Larry Hall
  • Zilpha Frank
  • Stacey Tappan
  • David A. Goldfarb
  • Rick Damigella
  • Mike Melton
  • Elizabeth Fox
  • Linda Renzulli
  • Joanne Carey Blanchard
  • Rhedde Bachs
  • Tracy Rhodes
  • Amanda Samuel
  • Kristin Fletcher
  • Robyn R. Huizinga
  • Lindsay Willett
  • Lynn Isaacson
  • Kim W.
  • Cathy Hancharik Wright
  • Casey Riley
  • Reid Hamilton
  • Mallory Mueller
  • Betsy O'Phelan
  • Donald Peter Dulchinos
  • Molly Anderson
  • Emily Harris
  • Tony Vant Leven
  • Jeanette Jamison
  • Heather Mayhugh
  • Aileen Stickley
  • Chad Burger
  • Holly Duthie

A little help, if you can: once again, we’re battling the darkness that is The Boy by trying to shed some light on the situation. So if you’re willing and able to help this year, Americares is who we’re giving to this year.

As I say every year, there’s no obligation. Everybody’s welcome in this Thing of Ours, whether you contribute or not. But if you can, Americares is a great organization.

Please donate here.

Day 14: I’m Sticking with You

Shana Tognazzini
With You by My Side, I Can Do Anything: Shana Tognazzini and Daughter

Shana Tognazzini had a problem. With a capital P, and that rhymes with B, and that stands for Boy.

Shana, like all of us, was devoting nearly all of her waking hours to keeping The Boy at bay, letting the rest of her life lie fallow just to survive. But her four-year-old daughter had a date with the Dread Drummer to practice for her holiday pageant. So what was Shana to do?

Look at that face. What would you do? Are you really gonna tell that face: “Sorry, kid, but you’re on your own and are doomed to humiliate yourself in front of everyone, so please consider it a character-building exercise?”

No.

Hell, no.

She’s a mom. She’s a fighter.

So she took one for the tyke. (Which, yes, technically means the girl’s out, too, but the child doesn’t appear to be too broken up about it.)

For that’s what we do in this Thing of Ours. We stick together. We help our kid get ready for her thing. We don’t say anything as the song’s playing in the store because our pal may not have noticed it. So we wait until we’re safe in the parking lot to ask if they did, and if they give an honest “no,” we fill out the reporting form for ourselves and root them on.

I mean, is there anything more noble than understanding the wound is mortal and waving the survivors on with an empassioned, “Go without me”?

If running this Thing of Ours has taught me anything, friends—and 13 years in, wouldn’t you think I’ve learned something?—it’s that we’re all in it together. (OK, not all of us, but that’s why we have the “Hoist with His Own Petard” rule.)

It’s not a new lesson, of course; I’ve talked about it before.

But these days it’s pretty much the classic Moe TuckerLou Reed duet. You held up a stagecoach in the rain. And I’m doin’ the same.

For I may technically be able to win without you, and you without me, but it’s not nearly as much fun. So stay together. Watch each other’s backs. And do it for Peter.

Again, if you do take a tumble, please fill out the reporting form (https://bit.ly/LDBCform), and post an LDBC-elfie like one of those in the latest batch, below, by commenting on the Facebook page or by tweeting and tagging @LDBChallenge.

Ever vigilant!

LDBC-Elfies: Defeated but Not Forgotten

  • Holly Melton
  • Kendra Hughes
  • Katherine Eppich
  • Jim Ingram
  • Bill Merk
  • Kristen Mirenda
  • Jennifer Sarah Blakeslee
  • Nancy Mello
  • Dorian Selbo
  • Audrey Arby
  • Pete Isaacson
  • SD Wangmo
  • Jane Erwin
  • Vanessa Dawn Jenks
  • Kristi Cavanaugh
  • Kim Drogan Prentice
  • Andrew Solovay
  • Anne Jarek
  • Mecca Palfrey
  • Brittany Jacobs
  • Dillon Hawkins
  • Rosie Hauck
  • Zach Bowyer
  • Shana Tognazzini
  • Chris Frazier Robinson
  • Laura Larsen
  • Shannon Hall
  • Karen Leimback
  • Joey Tracy
  • Sarah Bannister
  • Laura Michelle Butterfield
  • Molly Lenore Fischer
  • Juniper J Jehoshephat
  • Nikki Hedrick
  • Justin Lane
  • Lori Gibson Lee

A little help, if you can: once again, we’re battling the darkness that is The Boy by trying to shed some light on the situation. So if you’re willing and able to help this year, Americares is who we’re giving to this year.

As I say every year, there’s no obligation. Everybody’s welcome in this Thing of Ours, whether you contribute or not. But if you can, Americares is a great organization.

Please donate here.

Day 4: Preppers and Pantsers and Playlists—Oh, My!

Fallen LDBCer Justin Kelly

I need to get something off my chest that’s bothered me for nearly four decades, people. Band Aid‘s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” grew out of good intentions, but what’s with the part where Bono sings, “Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you”? I mean, can’t we help those less fortunate than ourselves without an injection of, “Better you than me”?

Rest assured, there’s no such pettiness in this Thing of Ours. Some of us may inwardly celebrate the downfall of friends and loved ones and laugh at their expense, to be sure, but at least nobody’s singing about it.

On the contrary, many of us do our best to shield ourselves and others (OK, maybe it’s mostly ourselves) from The Boy’s reptilian kiss, employing various strategies involving when to visit stores, wearing earbuds, and calling ahead to see if restaurants are playing holiday music. Those people are called preppers, while those who throw caution to the wind and trust their fate to luck are pantsers (as in: flying by the seat of their pants). And no, I can’t take credit for that since I borrowed those terms from the author side of my life after LDBCer Lori Sly asked if we called those groups anything.

Thus, it’s the preppers you can thank for a slew of safe, LDB-free playlists created for your anxiety-free enjoyment this holiday season. Now, I do want to stress that I haven’t checked these over to make sure there isn’t any stray Boy venom hidden inside of any of them. So do your due diligence and check them yourself to make sure someone hasn’t inadvertently left some LDB in there or isn’t actively trying to Nickroll you. (I love that term, invented by Elayne Wylie, for those who apply the principles of Rickrolling to our annual tradition. And no, it wouldn’t count thanks to our “Hoist with His Own Petard” rule, but you have no way of knowing whether the creator did it on purpose or not. So check.)

One other thing to watch out for, as BE Eliza so presciently warned, is to make sure you have the auto-suggest feature (as it’s called on Spotify, though it may be termed something else on other services) turned off so that it doesn’t start playing random holiday tunes without warning once the playlist is done. Two people that I know of have gotten stung that way thus far.

With all of that said, here are the lists, organized in no particular order by contributor name, and we thank all those who put these together:

Prepper, pantser. The Boy is happy to harvest you whatever your approach. And as proof of that, we present the gallery below, which is a visual roundup of those who’ve been taken from us too soon. (And it’s but a sample; more than 100 have reported in as slain only four days in.)

And that’s it for this gray Monday. Continue to be ever-vigilant, and be kind to one another. But should you take a fall, please fill out the reporting form (https://bit.ly/LDBCform) so that you’re duly memorialized at the end of the game, and feel free to contribute your own LDBC-elfie by adding it to a comment on the Facebook page or by tweeting and tagging @LDBChallenge.

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

For Peter! (Or, as Anne Sussman suggested, for Pete’s sake!)

LDBC-Elfies: Defeated but Not Forgotten

  • Erin Hatfield
  • Chris C.
  • Karen Austin
  • Anne Sussman
  • Lynne Rossi Horiuchi
  • Mike Trapp
  • Susan S. Smith
  • Iris Gray
  • Laura Taylor
  • Samantha Diamond
  • Simon Dibley
  • Carolyn Loeffler
  • Dorothy Alger
  • Caitlin Phaiah
  • Rebecca Renfro
  • Andrew P. Donnelly
  • Ellen Bloom
  • Noel Tang
  • Justin Kelly
  • Keely Sanderson

A little help, if you can: once again, we’re battling the darkness that is The Boy by trying to shed some light on the situation. So if you’re willing and able to help this year, Americares is who we’re giving to this year.

As I say every year, there’s no obligation. Everybody’s welcome in this Thing of Ours, whether you contribute or not. But if you can, Americares is a great organization.

Please donate here.

Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2015

Faceless_Dog_O

Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us.

Walt Kelly, June 1953

Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, fellow LDBCers—the enemy is The Boy. That jerky kid is a lunatic, and it’s all we can do to stay away from him when he gets the way he does.

But the truth is, he is largely faceless and can look like just about anyone. The more disturbing truth is that he often looks like friends, loved ones or—yes—us. It’s all a matter of who cranks up that holiday playlist that’s “totally safe, so don’t worry.” (And how creepy is that little dog ornament above, by the way? Eagle-eyed Mrs. LDBC spotted the poor fella abandoned on a window sill as we were wandering in our ‘hood. We didn’t take him home, of course. We’re not that crazy.)

thin_red_line_woody_harrleson_O

For no matter the confidence that goes into that declaration of “safe,” the surety with which you tune into that alternative college station (I’m looking at you, John Richards), or the bravado that fuels you as you blithely click that viral video, when your number’s up, it’s up. You’re Woody Harrelson, realizing you’ve just pulled the pin from one of your grenades—and you don’t know which one. You’re Wallace Shawn, laughing and laughing at your dizzying intellect—right up until the point where you keel over.

Vizzini-Laugh_O

And just like that? It’s never-send-to-know-for-whom-the-drum-rolls-it-rolls-for-thee time, my friend.

But not for everyone. And not every year.

In 2015, I won for only the second time in six tries. It was Mrs. LDBC’s fourth victory. And Photoshop wizard James Barnett reports that he’s won every single year. I, for one, believe him. Not because I don’t know him to be an inveterate liar, but because he doesn’t charge me anything for those great posters, and I’d like that to continue. (Anyway, he usually reserves his fibs for the really big whoppers. Like, the ones that bring down dynasties and economies.)

Triumph is possible. This we know. And if it’s not within reach for you in any given year, then you hope that you last long enough to perish with pride, or you pray that you go down with such blinding speed that you’re named First Fallen, as kick-off victim Craig Barker was this time around. (For Craig!)

If none of those things happen? Well, hell—die young and stay pretty, as Ms. Harry melodically advised. Leave behind a beautiful LDBC-elfie. Or, in the case of LDBCer Laura Sigman, a video. (Though if you’re reading this during an active game, do not watch, as this snippet contains LDB and will drop you like Black Flag on a yellow jacket.)

This year, 24 percent of us made it to midnight on the 23rd, which warms my heart on an afternoon when, as I type this, the snow is falling in hand-sized flakes. We ended the game with nearly 3,200 likes on the Facebook page, a pretty-darned-respectable number, says I. Or as respectable as this thing of ours gets. (“Respect” isn’t a word I’m used to having in the room with me, you understand.)

LDB Body Shop

Credit: LDB Body Shop by Laura Scandura Rea

Bing and Bowie reclaimed their throne this year, knocking the Harry Simeone crew down to runner-up status. (Worth noting: if you were to combine the “Peace on Earth” duet with Der Bingle’s solo version, nobody’d come near Killer Crosby.) Will Ferrell, as he does every game, contributed his share of Ferrell Fatalities. But I must admit I was surprised at Grace Jones’s surge. Every time I think a threat has been nullified with knowledge, I discover how wrong I am. Many an unfortunate LDBCer didn’t know to avoid that Pee-wee’s Playhouse clip when it inexplicably went viral. They know now.

It was a year for expecting the unexpected. Libby Frank refused to use any performance-enhancing devices and won, the equivalent of scaling Everest without supplemental oxygen. Laura Scandura Rea executed an inspired strategy of using ear protection at the airport and lost.

Are all our best plans laid to waste? Is it mere fate? Do we really live in such a chaotic universe? I don’t know, folks. I just run the game.

What I do know, however, is that I love running it, and I’m always grateful to both the battle-scarred veterans and the fresh faces who show up every year. I couldn’t find the comment, but someone wrote that the LDBC helps make the season bearable for those who are usually lonely at holiday time. If it helps, I’m happy. And tales such as Thomas Carpenter’s make me even more so.

That said, here are the faces, figures, names, and stories, friends. As always, if you didn’t get a chance to fill out the form, but want to get on the Wall, you still have the opportunity. I’ll check back and toss you latecomers up there from time to time.

A very Happy New Year to you and yours, all, and best wishes for a totally terrific 2016. As always…

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

Bowery_1936

The Quick and the Dead

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

2015 Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

Olivia Allen-Hall – L
I was by the onions when I heard it. In retrospect, not sticking to the apples was a mistake.

Morgan Noel – W

Victory! I will now listen to Neil Peart drum solos on YouTube to celebrate.

Irit Printz – L

I will only add that any reports of a rabbi hanging around the lobby of the Hotel Atlantica, cursing up a storm for no apparent reason on the evening of December 4th are pure rumors and have nothing to do with me at all.

Valerie Sacchetti – L

I was in NY to attend my grandmother’s funeral. Nice parting shot, NaNa.

Brian Tetrault – L

“Music for music people” my @$$, WTMD.

Jennifer Vanmatre – L

My local public radio betrayed me…and after all that pledge money, too. Bastards.

Essie Wagner – L

I was there to buy chocolate for my co-workers who visit me at my desk. Bitter. Dark. Chocolate.

Heidi Wiedemann – L

I yelled out to the young sales clerk, “You killed me!” She looked stunned. And then I said, “Hold on—I need to take a picture.”

Nicole Zezzo – L

I feel that the true meaning of Christmas is to eradicate that smug little drumming fucker.

Esther Summer – L

Why was the LDB in the ladies room? I went there for privacy.

Pauline Sundby – L

Yet more proof that television is bad for you.

Terra Spencer – L

Trust no one.

Paul Schmidt – L

Damn you, Ron Burgundy.

Beth S – L

Otherwise, RJ Julia Booksellers is a very swell place to work and shop.

Jennifer Pontefract – W

I won only because of the thoughtful and vigilant LDBC community.

Mandy Rose – L

Alas, there was no grace from Grace Jones.

Julie Thompson – L

The title of the video was “Looks Can Be Deceiving.” Yes, they sure can.

James Barnett – W

Chump thinks he can come at me? At me?

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
Jacqui W
A., Lisa L
Abbott, Edward L
Achauer, Allison L
Adair, David W
Adams, Christoph W
Adams, Sam W
Adler, Ellyn L
Agins, Chuck W
Ainsworth, Catherine L
Albans, Dylan L
Albright, Kristen L
Alhadeff, Daniel W
Allen-Hall, Olivia L
Allen, Mj W
Allmer, Christina L
Allyn, Heath W
Almjeld, Karin L
Almjeld, Susan L
Amberger, Bob L
Ammerman, Amy L
Anastasia, Shandielle L
Anderson, Jb L
Anderson, Sue L
Andrews, Lisa L
Angier , Cynthia L
Anthony, Kathy W
Arlauckas, Regina L
Arnold, Joni W
Arnold, Richard L
Aronoff, Janee L
Asa, Skye L
Aubrey-Sudilovsky, Alexis L
Austin, Karen W
Avery, Cam W
Ayer, Katy L
B, Kris W
B, M L
B., Isaac L
Baange, Eugie W
Babcock , Jenna L
Bailie, Beth L
Baiyor , Patricia L
Baker, Jamie L
Balsam, Jessica L
Banks, Stacie L
Barker, Craig L
Barker, Jennifer L
Barnett, James W
Barry, Sally L
Batchelor, Rhonda W
Bauer, Renee W
Beachy, Susan L
Beckley, Lisa L
Benedetto, Anna L
Benjamin, Rebecca L
Bennett, Angela L
Bernal, Victoria L
Berry, David L
Bianchi, Emma L
Biando, Becky W
Biddlecomb, Susan W
Bingham, Craig L
Birkemeier, Glenn L
Black, Alan L
Black, Nate L
Blackburn, Barak L
Blackburn, Robin W
Blackler, Kelly L
Blair, Natalie L
Blanchard , Joanne L
Bloom, Melanie L
Blumenau, Ana W
Bodnar, B L
Bogan, Emily W
Bogart, Heather L
Bogert, Adam L
Bonk, Kat L
Booth, Brendon W
Borchardt, Jennifer L
Bowers, Justin L
Boyd, Anne W
Boyle, Bridget L
Boyle, Keri W
Bracebridge, Tory L
Braganza, Desiree W
Braine, Bill L
Brecher, Elisabeth L
Bremer, Grant W
Brinkerhoff, Mark W
Broner, Jacqueline W
Brookshaw, Chip L
Brown, Jessica L
Brown, Mary Jo W
Brown, Michele L
Brundage, Pat L
Brunson, Terri L
Bryson, J.S. L
Bubier, Jason L
Buchbinder, Brian W
Bunce, Renshin W
Burbank, Valentina L
Burch, Scooter L
Burkart, Melissa L
Burkhardt, Amy W
Burns, Maura L
Burns, Terri W
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Christine L
Butler, Will W
Byrne, Brian L
C, Brenda L
C, Ginny L
C, Karen W
Cain, Fonda L
Calhoun, Ivan L
Camp, Dawn L
Campbell, Deb L
Cappiello, Elaine L
Capria, Frank L
Carlson-King, Tracy L
Carpenter, Thomas L
Carroll-Clark, Susan W
Carter, Mary Alice L
Carvalho, Lisa L
Caston, Casey L
Chamness, Janelle L
Chessmar, Mary L
Chilson, Dawn W
Chochol, Caroline W
Church, Lisa W
Churchill-Danis, Jessica L
Cicero, Donna L
Cicero, Morgan L
Clohessy, Deedee L
Cohen, Jay L
Cole, Emily L
Coleman, Tami L
Connolly, Cyndi L
Cook, Kelly L
Cooke, Stephen L
Cooper, Jason L
Cooper, Robin L
Coss, Jeremy L
Cottle, Traci L
Craig, David L
Crane, Susan L
Crawford, Mindy L
Creamer, Duncan L
Crosby, Tyler W
Culp, David L
Cummings, Dan L
Currie, Alyssa L
Curro, Christy L
Curtis, Tammy L
Cyr, Erin W
D, Claudia L
D, Meredith L
Dailing, Paul L
Dammit Dixon, Jennifer L
Dark, Stephanie L
Darling , Mere L
Davis, Al L
Davis, Jonathan L
Davis, Matthew L
Davis, Tina W
Dean, Liz L
Deangelo, Keri L
Decastro-Lobisser, Rena W
De Lis, Tara W
Del Ponte, Katie L
Delano, Tim L
Demange, Mary L
Denchy, Ruth L
Denehie, Elizabeth W
Desimone, Mickie L
Dever, Wendy L
Diamond, Joshua W
Didomizio, Joseph L
Dimitri, C. Robert L
Dinwiddie, Melissa W
Dishman, Chelsea L
Dixon, Tim L
Dobbyn, Francesca W
Dobrinski , Rebecca L
Doherty, Dawn W
Dorsey, Chantelle L
Dost, Andy L
Douglas, Kim W
Draper, Dave W
Dunn, Barbara W
Dupriest , Matt W
Durham, Murphy L
Durish, Tiffany L
Durkin, Kathleen L
Duthie, Holly W
Dyer, Katie L
E-C, Josh & Trixie L
E, Justine L
E, Paul L
Eades, Ellen W
Eastman, Erin W
Eb, Kevin L
Eberle , Kathy L
Eckert-Chu, Corrin L
Eckert, Elspeth L
Eckert, Karin L
Elena, Christina L
Elia, Shannon L
Elizabeth, Queen L
Ellis, Stephanie L
Enge, Jon L
Epstein, Ava W
Erwin, Robin L
Espinosa, Andi L
Esterman, Sammi L
Fabini, Angela L
Farrington, Kelly L
Febres, Iris L
Feeney, James L
Fermenich, Justin W
Fernandez, Julia L
Fine, Adam L
Finkelman, Kailey W
Finkelstein, Elizabeth L
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fintschenko, Pete L
Fischer, Molly L
Fisher, Laura L
Fitter, Fawn L
Fitter, Mara W
Fitzgerald, Mark L
Fitzgerald, Scott W
Fletcher, Ben L
Fletcher, Emily L
Fletcher, Kristin W
Flinn, Wes W
Flynn, Colleen L
Foreman , Tiffany L
Forst, Christina L
Forstater, Ann L
Foster, Deann L
Fox, Abby L
Fox, Elizabeth W
Foxworthy, Brandee W
Frank, Libby W
Frank, Zilpha (Lisa) W
Frazar, Ford L
Freeman, Myron L
Friedman, Leeann L
Friendly, Stirling W
Fritz, Robb L
Frye, Darrell L
Gaither, Daigan W
Ganey, Sara L
Ganz, Claudia W
Garcia, Chel W
Garcia, Rudy L
Gardner , Rebecca L
Gatling , Sara L
Gelfand, Bev W
Giangrande, Tina L
Gironella, Ninette L
Gomez, Amanda L
Grant, Kim W
Greene, Emily L
Greiner, Michael L
Grengs, Dayna L
Gripman, Jen W
Gripman, Stuart W
Grodis, Beth L
Gualtieri, Jessika W
Gunning, Walker L
Guterman, Lila L
H, Amanda L
H, H L
H, Lafawne L
Hahn, Madeleine L
Hailey, Meredith W
Hamblen, Amanda W
Hamblen, Lisa L
Hamilton, Heather L
Hamilton, Reid L
Hannan, Sara L
Hanses, Ben L
Hardy, Susan L
Harkins, Barbara L
Harms, Eric W
Harris, Emily L
Harvey , Larisa L
Hatch, Rollie L
Haught, Megan L
Hawkins, Elizabeth L
Hawley, Rob L
Hawn, Matthew W
Hddn, Jeff L
Heck, Emily L
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Hermanson, Dalea W
Hernandez, Adriana L
Herne, Bree L
Herrington, Betsy L
Herron, Kelly W
Hight, Brian L
Hill , Michael L
Hill, Christine L
Hill, Jeff L
Hilton, Theresa L
Hindman, Joyce W
Hodgens, Evan W
Holland, Kimberly L
Hood, Sara L
Hopkins, James L
Hornyak, Jeff L
Houlihan, Christopher L
Howard, Beth L
Hubbell , Sunni L
Huey, AJ W
Hufford, Amy L
Hugo, Heather L
Hurford, Terry L
Husted, Mariah L
Husted, Rachel L
Hyland, Mary Pat L
Hytowitz, Rebecca L
I, Elizabeth L
Igoe, Tom L
Ives, Brian L
Jackson, Rae L
Jacob, Lou L
Jacob, Renae L
Jacobson, Meredith L
James, Suz L
Jean, Linda L
Jess, Dj W
Johnsen, Craig L
Johnson , Barb L
Johnson, Brian L
Johnson, Lori L
Jones, Kale W
Jones, Karen L
Joyce, Brian L
Judge, Serena L
Juncker, Chandra W
K, Jennifer L
K., Sasha W
Kamm, Lisa L
Kasler, Jo L
Katz, Meimei L
Kelleher, Desiree L
Keller, Julie L
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Kevin L
Kern, Desiree W
Kh, Molly L
Kief, Kristen L
Kilgore, Addie W
Kilyanek, Brooke L
Kirk, Kerri W
Kittredge , John L
Kittredge, Khalil L
Klein, Dee L
Klimek, Amanda W
Knight, Brandie L
Kohn, Tina W
Kohn, Vicky L
Kopperman , Leah W
Kowalski, Nancy L
Kraiger, Michael L
Krohn , Steve W
Kunz, Nicole W
Kushmaul, Crystal W
Lademann, Christine L
Lake-Corral, Lorien L
Lane, Keith W
Lantz, Bryanna L
Lara, Erin L
Larrow, Gina L
Larsen, Laura L
Larson, Natalie L
Lawrence, Marc L
Lawson , Jen W
Lawson, Emily W
Leahy, Mary Ellen L
Leclair, Joe W
Lee, Roger W
Lefton, Sarah W
Lemonhead, Lulu L
Lent, Daniel L
Lent, Kristie W
Leo, Jennifer L
Lerner, Mark L
Leslie, Diana L
Leveridge, Brett L
Levine, Jonathan L
Levitan, Stacy L
Levy, Susie L
Lim, Jeena L
Linder, Gretchen W
Linger, Maria L
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Long, David W
Long, Kelly L
Lopez De Castilal, Mariana W
Loretta, Catherine L
Loter, Jim W
Louthan , Poppy L
Loveland , Sheila W
Lutz, Ericka L
Lyle, Steve L
Lysne, Lisa L
M, Amy L
M, Heather L
M, Katherine L
M, Lisa L
M, Steven L
Macaulay, Jillian L
Macdonald, Peter L
Mackinnon, Bryn W
Madesclaire, Marine W
Madison, Anne L
Madzin , Kathleen L
Magrisso, Steohanie L
Maier, John L
Mailander, Melissa L
Malkin, Sarah W
Maloney , Sean L
Manguchei, Kendyce L
Manson, Tycho L
Marracco, Muffy L
Marsden, Malcolm L
Marshall, Laura L
Martin, Ann L
Martin, Noland L
Massey, Misty L
McCabe, Heather W
McCafferty, Mindi L
McClough, Maggie (Seahare) L
McDonald, Andrew W
McDonald, Stef L
Mcdonald, Stuart L
McDowell, Marie L
McDuff, Russ L
McGough, Tina L
McGrath, Lauren L
McGregor , Heathee L
McGuire, Matt L
McIntosh, Kyle L
McKeon, Katherine W
McLane, Heather L
McManus, Carole L
McMaster, Amy W
McNiel , Pj L
McNutt, Carol L
Meckler, Amelia L
Meister, Just L
Melton, Holly L
Melzer Coveyou, Kam L
Michals, Rebecca L
Michetti Somers , Dina W
Miera, Tom L
Mignone, Bernadette W
Miller, Barb L
Miller, Don L
Miller, Russ W
Mochari, Loren W
Moers, Christine L
Moncrief, Megan L
Monica , Julia L
Montelongo, Roxanne L
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morrey, Erin L
Morris, Whitney L
Morrison, Cathy L
Mullen, Kile W
Mullins, Morwyn L
Murphy, Eric L
Murphy, Heather L
Murphy, Lillian L
Murphy, Michael L
Murphy, Roy L
Myers, Stacey L
Nadeau, Robin W
Nahem, Ivan L
Neilclan, Starry W
Nelson, Laurie L
Nelson, Terri L
Nesser, Dennis L
Neulist, Nicolle L
Newman, Stephanie L
Nickerson, Catherine L
Nies, Kim L
Nixon, Jen L
Noel , Morgan W
Nolan, Mike W
Nordstrom, Elizabeth L
Nordstrom, Ron L
Noseworthy, Tery L
November, Sharyn W
Nuelle, Jon L
O, Rachel W
O’Hagan , Mickey L
Ogan, Marty W
Olfers, Carey L
Olguin, Patrick L
Olson, Julie L
Olson, Nick L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Osada, Fumiko L
Ostrowski, Darlene L
Owens, David W
Oxner, Todd L
P, Ray W
P., Tom L
Papalia, Alexis W
Pappas, Mish L
Patchett, Kate L
Patterson, Colleen L
Pax, Lori W
Peck, Michael W
Peel, John L
Pellissier, Denise L
Perry, Lisa L
Peter, Shockheaded L
Peters , Toni-Maree L
Peterson, Nancy L
Pew, Esther L
Podemski, Edwina W
Poling, Fred L
Polk, Christopher W
Pontefract , Jennifer W
Porter, Brett L
Prentice, David L
Prentice, Kim L
Preston, Kathy L
Printz, Irit L
Puchalski, Anna W
Purvis, Sk W
Quinn , Dana L
Radding, Reuben W
Rakkasah, Heather W
Ramina, Matt L
Rand, Rachel L
Range, Jen5253 L
Rasche, Carolyn L
Raucci, Samantha L
Rea, Laura L
Reichman, Dana W
Reid, Mary L
Renzulli, Linda L
Revvington, Revenant W
Reznek, Abby L
Reznek, Karen L
Rice, Jamie L
Richter, Marc L
Roberts, Laurie L
Robichaux , Julie W
Robichaux, Tim L
Rogal, Dawn L
Rosado, Mercedees L
Rose, Alec L
Rose, Kaitlin L
Rose, Mandy L
Rosen, Peg L
Rosenthal, Pony W
Roth Smith, Dawn L
Roth, Amy W
Rowland, Rick L
Ruggiero, Megan W
Rullo, Nancy W
Rush, Randy L
Russell, Kat L
Ruzich, Christian L
Ryer, Kelly L
S, Allison L
S, Beth L
S, N W
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sacchi, Christine L
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Salerno, James W
Salvador, Phil L
Samis, Michelle W
Samuelson, Jenny W
Samuelson, Michael W
Sandusky Ferrier, Sarah L
Scandura, Terri L
Scarlato, Tracy L
Sch, Candace L
Schaeffer, Julie L
Scheer, Alttara L
Scheer, Isabelle L
Schmeling, Aaron L
Schmeling, Kristin W
Schmidt, Paul L
Schmitt, Jennifer L
Schober, Saffron L
Schoenholz, Elon L
Schwarer, Sandy W
Schwinke, Theo W
Sciullo, Allison W
Screen, Derek L
Sebrell, Lynn L
Segall, Margaret L
Settlemire, Jaclyn L
Shanahan, Ginger W
Sharpe, Martha L
Shengold, Nina L
Sheppard, Jacob L
Sheridan, Clare W
Shollenberger, Lee Ann L
Siepka , Peggy W
Siepka, Peggy L
Sigman, Laura L
Sinclair, Shauna W
Skinner, Claire L
Skochko, Julia L
Smith, Ben W
Smith, Cathryn L
Smith, Cathy L
Smith, Lianne W
Snell Nachtsheim, Joyce L
Snord, Cranston L
Snyder, Jenn L
Solliday, Joanne W
Sorenson, Greg L
Southwell, Mag W
Spelsberg, Coral L
Spencer, Terra L
Sperry, Arthur L
Spragg, Russell L
Spring, Nomy L
Stacy, Nancy L
Stern, Lexi L
Stevens, Andy L
Stewart, Jonathan L
Stewart, Rebekah L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stiffler, Dee L
Stine, Shannon L
Stoneburner, Ann L
Strickland-Lozada, Nancy L
Subers, Libby L
Sullivan , Diane L
Sullivan, Cara W
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, Rebecca L
Sullvan, Peg L
Summer, Esther L
Sundby, Pauline L
Sweeney, Ginia L
Swiecki, Maria W
T., Anne L
Tabor, Deb L
Taitano, Julie L
Tarabour, Lucy W
Tarbox, Maggie L
Taylor, Jack L
Tepper, Michele L
Tetreault, Brian L
Thacher, Meg L
Thom , Neil W
Thomas, Cathy L
Thomas, Leila W
Thompson, Julie L
Timmons, Becky L
Timms, George W
Tingey, Janet L
Tognazzini, Shana W
Turiel, Josh W
Tyler, Dee L
Underhill, Amanda W
Vandermark, Bill L
Vanmatre, Jennifer L
Viehmann, Martha L
Voltz, Stephen L
Von Ahn, Lisa L
W, Megan L
W, Miss L
Wacknov, Stacey L
Wagner, Essie L
Wagner, Vicki L
Wallace, Meghan L
Ward, Robin L
Ware, Minda Grace L
Watson, Bekah L
Webb, Barbara L
Weller, Chris W
Weller, Sherry L
Wenk, Conor L
Wenk, Sarah L
Wessel Walker, Donna L
Wessel Walker, Mary L
White, Brian W
White, Libby L
White, Lindsay Maguire L
White, Sara L
Whittle, Kate L
Whitton, Audra L
Wiedemann, Heidi L
Wiese, Jodi L
Wilcott, Lynn L
Willett, Lindsay L
Williams, Harold L
Williams, Katie L
Williams, Nancy L
Willis, Danielle L
Wills, Allie L
Wills, Carroll W
Wilson, Jennifer W
Wilson, Molly L
Winger, Melissa L
Wingfield, Amber L
Winter, Stacy L
Wishengrad, Paul L
Wissink, Alanya W
Witt, Michelle L
Wolfe, Alexandra L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Woman , Onemean W
Wood, Cameo W
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Mary L
Woodward, Timothy W
Wright, Diana L
Wright, Patrick L
Wright, Sarah W
Wyatt, Julie L
Wyman, Kendall L
X, Joey W
Yarbrough, Susan L
Zezzo, Nicole L
Zoccola, Dianne L

Day 23: Yeeeeee-HAH!

Happy Granny

It’s happy-dance time, friends. It’s over. (Well, it is on the East Coast and in the Midwest, home of LDBC Central, anyway. Our friends on the West Coast and all points further back in the Earth’s rotation have to make it for a bit more since the game ends at midnight your local time.)

Everybody out of the cee-ment pond.

Little Drummer Boy

Southern California Little Drummer Boy by Susan Biddlecomb

Time for the bastard Boy to wave goodbye for another year while we bind our wounds, collect our dead, and celebrate our survival—if indeed we have survived.

You know the drill. Over the next few days, please fill out the official reporting form (linked here and embedded below) with your loss or victory if you haven’t done so. I’ll post a few reminders to catch the stragglers before I start compiling our ever-lovin’ stats and put together the hallowed LDBC Wall.

Also, all you lucky, lucky survivors, please post a gloriously happy LDBC-elfie to the Facebook wall, and I’ll share all your celebratory faces in the 2015 wrap-up post.

Before all that, though, I want to share an LDBC-elfie gallery and two tales. The first, from Wes Flinn, is short and light-hearted, but inspiring all the same:

My wife held the door to a gas station bathroom closed so I could not get out. She did it because the Boy was in the station and I couldn’t hear him in the bathroom. (She was taken out a couple of weeks back.) I love her so much for this.

The second, from Thomas Carpenter, is honestly one of the most touching posts I’ve seen in the six years we’ve been doing this (right up there with Sue Carkner‘s 2013 Tale from the Trenches):

I’m out! And under the worst possible circumstances.

My husband and I have a dear friend who got a leukemia diagnosis over the summer. She responded well to her initial round of chemo, and pretty quickly found a 10-point match for a bone marrow donor through the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry.

The problem is, that she’s single, and lives alone in NYC, so the hospital wasn’t willing to do the bone marrow transplant unless she had caregivers. My husband and I stepped up and said that she could move in with us while she re-built her immune system.

Here’s the thing about having a bone marrow transplant. You can’t really be out and about among other people. You’ve got no immune system, whatsoever, and the slightest thing could set you back, or worse, could kill you.

Our friend is slowly, but surely recovering, and one of the most important things for her, at this point, is to visit one of the restaurants in our neighborhood, where we’re regulars. We might be pushing it, in terms of going out to eat before her immune system is totally rebuilt, but it’s so important for morale, so we’ve done it. And the restaurant wiped down the bar with ammonia before we even sat down, and the food was served piping hot, so…it seemed a safe bet.

Well, while it was safe for my friend who’s recovering from cancer, it was not safe for me. No sooner did I finish explaining to the bartender the terms of The Little Drummer Boy Challenge…

Etta James. Singing “Come, they told me…” Not the worst version. Actually, probably the best, if you have to hear the song. It doesn’t make your ears bleed, at least. But I immediately shrieked in pain, and everyone around me said, “WHAT? Are you okay?”

I was not okay. They eventually heard what was playing, and knowing what it meant to me, promised that they would delete that song from their playlist forevermore.

So, I’m out. But my friend is cancer-free, and I persuaded a restaurant to amend their holiday playlist, so, I can fall asleep with my soul intact, tonight.

And that’s about it ’til the countin’s done, folks. So fill out the form, people, and in a few days, we’ll put this thing to bed for another year with the post-game wrap-up.

For Craig!

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Day 23: How Much More?

Sammi Esterman Balik

Fallen LDBCer Sammi Esterman Balik

How much more? A bit more than three days. An eternity, in other words.

There are pluses and minuses to being blasted by The Boy early in the game. On the one hand, you’re in the LDBC afterlife right off the bat and don’t have to walk in fear anymore. On the other, it’s kind of humiliating to get cut down right out of the gate.

Similarly, while it’s frustrating as hell to get thisclose to winning, only to be clotheslined within days of the finish line, there is some pride to be taken in having made it that far.

Mrs. LDBC and I just returned from a light, late lunch at neighborhood favorite Taste of Heaven, where we were absolutely certain we were going to buy it amongst the tasteful holiday decorations and tempting cupcakes. (The Elvis and Cho Cho Cho offerings are among my recommendations.) The joint was chockablock with Christmas music, and I was all set to snap a tragic selfie. Only The Boy didn’t show. Likewise yesterday, when I made it out of my doctor’s waiting room in one piece after a enduring a veritable tempest of yuletide tunes.

Still, not all is phew and relief. We have a whole new batch of LDBC-elfies, and yet again, it is our duty to doff our caps to observe a silent moment of solemnity for the fallen pictured below. They started this thing with the same hopes and dreams as we did this year, and they were done in by the dastardly drum before they could even glimpse the finish line at the end of Santa Claus Lane.

The moment we wake up, before we put on our makeup, we say a little prayer for them.

Speaking of prayers, this noir LDBCer Dispatch from Cathy D Thomas is simply divine and deserves to be included in its entirety:

Three o’clock in the morning, And, I’m supposed to sleep.

I said I’d be dead by Friday. Of course, The Boy didn’t let me go that easy.

The first thing you should know is that Denver had a snowstorm this week. That must sound to others like, ‘the sun rose today’, but really, in Denver, snowstorms mostly dust the grass, then melt on the pavement in midday. This snowstorm closed the Denver Public Schools; that meant that the bus drivers couldn’t see far enough to drive, and kids couldn’t climb the snowbanks caused by plowing, if their neighborhoods were lucky enough to get proactive clearing overnight.

The next thing you need to know is that after a protracted period of periodic employment, I started my first full-time job in over a year. That meant getting up at 5 am, to allow for the bus delays on the commute, and coming home to massage the bruises and strains on my legs and knees going over fairly rough ice terrain. By the time of yesterday’s party, I was tired enough to assume I needed cabs coming and going. I learned to depend on the kindness of strangers, and have cash ready.

The third and final thing to know? Denver has a barbaric system of ordering every bar to clear out its patrons by 1 am. That means drunken brawls and shootings occur in the parking lots, because bingers get frustrated. It also means that after midnight, finding a cab outside the LoDo bar sector becomes nearly impossible.

My tiredness should have stopped me from assuming The Boy would forget my winning streak, my dodging of Him during this week’s several corporate holiday festivities. Tiredness, the cold, and my desperation to get home led to arrogance — and, The Boy was waiting for me.

After getting through the first cab ride, with a driver who didn’t know why locals still call Sports Authority Field at Mile High “Mile High Stadium”, I got to the party, ate, drank, pocketed luscious chocolate bonbons from the table-setting bowls, and settled down to bet $1000 of play money toward the eternal bitch goddess of Roulette… where I left the table with over $2000. (This never, ever happens with real cash.)

I then observed my co-workers careen through hands of Blackjack, a game I love, but never will be good enough to play. (Too lazy to count, for Blackjack, too wussy to be an asshole, for Poker.) Throughout all this, the DJ played classic hits. Someone, bless him, asked for non-Christmas music — you see what this led me to? Yep — I thought I’d dodged Him.

By midnight, we ended our hands, as the dealers were getting loopy with the overtime, then gathered our coats. I’d asked a co-worker to get a lift to a downtown cabstand, but we missed each other in the rush to leave. At 12:15, I called a taxi (no smartphone, nor the desire to support scab drivers, to call Uber). By 12:45, it was clear no one would take the ride, so I called another company. By 1:30, after three calls to the dispatcher, and two to the driver, we finally found each other, in one of the large parking lots in front of the stadium. He was new to the city, and his phone’s directions suggested taking the highway, a cab-rider’s sucker bet. I told him, step by step, how to take me home.

1:40 am. We were on the homestretch, with clear traffic and no need to speak. The radio was on low, playing K-Love Christian Rock. I barely heard it, but knew, once I did, I had to acknowledge the truth. There it was — Pa rum pum pum pum — and, it was over.

“Turn it up,” I sighed.

“Off?”

“No — up.” Why not? These fuzzy, faux-hep, Jesus-Freak monsters did the equivalent of tripping me on the sooty, disgusting street ice, twisting my ankle on someone else’s tracks, then stomping on my hand, as I tried to struggle back up. The joy of the season will remain, but tainted by their harmonies.

At least I still have the bonbons, and can take my muscle relaxant and try to sleep 12 hours, in my nest of Snuggies, down comforters and regret.

But, The Boy? God damn the man and his music. And triple damn MercyMe, who saw fit to use The Boy as their signal bombast on their Xmas album.

Three days-plus and counting, people. It’s stiff-upper-lip time now.

For Craig!

(The usual reminder: should your lip wilt and you find yourself among the fallen, please report in via the official form so that you’re included in the gratifyin’ game-end stats. And if you’re feeling photographically frisky, post an LDBC-elfie of your sad, shocked face on the Facebook wall.)

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Day 15: ‘What the Tinsel-Bedecked Hell?’

Laura Scandura Rea and Heather Cvitkovic McGregor’s rightfully cautious son

“The power of The Challenge compels you!”

For Laura Scandura Rea, it’s that mantra, aural protection, and a watchful googly-eyed tree. For Heather Cvitkovic McGregor, it involves carefully separating the Boy ornament from the other decorations and never putting him on the tree. (“My kids and I take the challenge very seriously,” she stresses.)

Whatever your precaution or talisman, LDBCers, hew faithfully to it. It’s all you’ve got. If your friends mock you, avoid them until midnight on Dec. 23rd. Better yet, get new friends. Reckless dummies like that are bound to damage you one way or another, game or no game.

Even if you exercise perfect discipline, it may not help you:

‘Wait, what?!’ said my son. ‘Are we still out?’

What I said to him: ‘Yes, son. We’re still out. It’s very sad, I know. But it’s important to be honest with ourselves—and with the world.’

What I thought to myself: ‘What the tinsel-bedecked hell? We only heard ten seconds of the freaking song! What kind of hellish dreamscape is this? Is Lars von Trier going to leap out from behind a stack of lawn and leaf bags at any moment?!”

Despite this great blow, we have soldiered on, bloodied but unbowed. J.Q. directed his attention to the list of Things He Really, Really Wants From Home Depot. (Grout sealant! An oscillating belt sander!) I myself focused on Christmas songs that I hate more than “Little Drummer Boy.”

After all, we only get one go-round on this crazy celestial ornament called Earth. We can spend our time gnashing our teeth and cursing The Boy. Or we can accept our losses, smile, and fantasize about leaving a flaming sleigh full of pig manure on the lawn of the guy who wrote “My Grown-Up Christmas List.” — Julia Skochko

More than 350 of our people have joined Ms. Skochko and her spawn in being wished into The Boy’s cornfield. Their faces are below. And if you just can’t get enough of that sort of thing, here are more. (What are you, some kind of ghoul? What’s with you?)

And remember, please: should you join them—or should you find yourself still standing when this thing is through—report in via the official LDBC form.

Until then, stay strong. It can’t rain all the time.

For Craig!

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Day 8: No Respect

Beth Hayes Bailie and sons

The look on Beth Hayes Bailie‘s son, above, who may or may not have been trying to give us his best Rodney Dangerfield but succeeded all the same, says it all, fellow LDBCers.

The Boy does not respect us. At all. In any way. (No, not her son. The Boy.)

He molests us with Muzak. Silences us with Simeone and Seger. Buries us in a barrage of Bing and Bowie. There are more than 3,000 of us who’ve liked the Facebook page now, which just means a happier hunting ground for the little jerk. And with the growing numbers come the growing number of victims.

Your friends, neighbors, and loved ones. These are their faces and tales.

Joanne Carey Blanchard, who only wished to deal with some doggie things, but ended up being thrown to the wolves. (“It’s all up to you to rep for the Family now, Mom,” she posted—with a capital “F” in “family.”)

And a capital “F” for a much angrier word is sent The Boy’s way over and over. But he doesn’t care. He just marches on, tapping out his rhythm of doom.

Many have fallen prey to viral videos. (Appearances can be deceiving, especially when you’re laying LDBCers low right and left with your otherwise admirable social message.) Others have suffered double-whammies.

Christine Chase Sacchi: “So while I’m laid low, stunned, stricken, does he leave it at that? Can he not gloat in silence and let me pull myself together? No! Two songs later he came back in another version to trample me where I lay.”

More than 200 of us who’ll have an “L” next to their names in the game-end tally. (You know, the tally I’m always nagging about. The one that you’ll only appear in if you fill out the reporting form.)

Faces and names, friends. And on top of the chronological list of them is this year’s First Fallen, Craig Barker.

So stay alert. Step lively. And should you fall, post an LDBC-elfie to the page or, at least, report in via the form that can’t be mentioned enough.

Godspeed.

For Craig!

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Puh-Rum-Pum-Pum-Post-Game Results for 2014

Fallen drummer by Reuben Radding

Fallen drummer by Reuben Radding

Go, tell the Spartans, stranger passing by

That here, obedient to their laws, we lie.

Simonides of Ceos

And with that, just one of many translations of the poem to mark the heroics of men who each had more bravery in his pinky toe than I have in the entirety of my corpus, we celebrate the yearly toppling of The Boy, fellow LDBCers. We, the fallen, cheer the triumph of our winners while battling to contain the Giger-esque chest-burster of jealousy. And I face down a seasonal terror second only to that of the little rat-a-tat bastard himself: basic math.

The 2014 LDBC brought us a 46 percent increase in Facebook likes (from 1,830 to 2,675). More fearless holiday warriors willing to challenge the rhythmic darkness. And a few more skillful ones, apparently, since our reported win rate improved from 25 percent last year to 29 percent this year. Or maybe there are more shut-ins. Or more liars, perhaps. Still, a reported win’s a reported win, and I, for one, believe them, as I am a giving kind of guy.

One other statistical difference you’ll note is that this year marks the first time that the deadly duo of Bing and Bowie haven’t taken first place in the body count. That’s because I, being ever observant, realized after five years of doing this that people were reporting losses via the solo Bing version and not the combo, so I broke them out separately. Thus, live performances are now the King of Chaos and Harry Simeone reigns as Baron Blood.

Other firsts? This year marked the debut of the First Fallen, the lead-off loser who inspires the seasonal battle cry with his or her awful misfortune. For 2014, that dubious honor went to long-time LDBCer Susan Campbell Beachy, who bought it on day one with a grace comparable to that of Wile E. Coyote wrestling gravity. (She went paws-up at Michael’s Crafts while searching for a holiday garland for her bannister. For Susan!)

All gloom aside, let’s not forget that we end, as we do every year, with the inevitable victory delivered by our old friend the Gregorian calendar. (The second hand saves us when it passes the twelve in the first moments of December 24th, as it dependably does every year, after all.)

And this time around, we celebrate another groundbreaking gift, the arrival of the first LDBC twins (and first LDBC babies of any kind, as far as we know). Wee ones Bea and Tess showed up on December 9th and helped save their mom, LDBCer CJ, with the forced isolation of a nine-day hospital stay. And as Mom pointed out, they both have a lifetime LDBC winning streak going. (Please join us in welcoming the kids to the fray and congratulating the happy parents on their creation of life in the defiance of so much woe. Whoa.)

LDBC twins Bea and Tess

Credit: 2014 LDBC twins Bea and Tess by CJ

And if the circle-of-life thing isn’t quite enough joy for you, if you need more positivity to cram into your cheek pouches for later use, we also treat you to this, a note left for Santa by LDBCer Keri Rae Boyle‘s grateful third-grader. Personally, I rejoice in the knowledge that I’m not the only one out there who needs a few do-overs, even if my standard is set by a member of the post-Berenstain Bears crowd.

Santa Note

Credit: Santa note and note writer by Keri Rae Boyle

With that, we bring you the yearly NASA-level graphs and analysis, plus an LDBC-elfie gallery that’s full to bursting with pathos but is also leavened with a few pinches of win. And, of course, the sad and stirring narrative highlights and the ever-lovin’ LDBC Wall, your reward for filling out the reporting form. (And if you didn’t fill it out, but want to get on the Wall, you can still do so. I’ll check it now and then and add you laggards.)

As I say every year, this thing of ours helps get us through the holidays, and we couldn’t do it without you. So from all us slain Spartans to those still shuffling out the jitterbug o’ victory, a very Happy New Year, and best wishes for a wonderful 2015.

Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum, people.

The Quick and the Dead

Win-Loss Pie Chart

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc.

Song Sung Blue

2014 Homicidal Artist Breakdown

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

Here Is Where the Story Ends

LDBC Place of Demise, by Type

Source: LDBC Analytics, Inc. (Click chart for full-sized version)

LDBC-Elfies: Tragedy and Triumph Captured

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LDBCer Tales from the Trenches

Jack Taylor – L

I will never buy anything retail again.

Irene Connelly – L

When I encountered The Boy, as we all must, he was wrapped in a handmade artisanal flag, carrying an organic, slow-food lunch encased in recyclable BPA-free plastic in one hand and a locally handcrafted gluten-free ale in another. This is not what I call sustainability.

Marcus Andrews – W

Being an out of touch, mass-media-shunning, shopaphobic curmudgeon finally paid off this year.

Robert Helfen – L

Just had to buy those stupid wall anchors, right?

Mary Humphreys – L

“Oh shit,” said my mother.

Jamie Baker – W

After five years, I have vanquished the Boy and his power. I HAVE TASTED VICTORY AND IT IS DELICIOUS. (If that doesn’t warrant caps-lock abuse, I ask you, what does?)

Chris Smith – L

I was blind-sided like Willem Dafoe in Platoon.

Ted Bunn – L

I suppose we could have left the room, like members of a secret society when the society’s name is mentioned, but good manners got the better of us.

Cori Eckert-Chu – W

Slacker was axed on the final day, but he can report his own tale of woe while I dance the victory Happy Dance around him. Things like this are good for our marriage.

Elizabeth Fox – L

Buying head cheese for my mom at a German deli. Oh, well. She liked the head cheese.

Steve Friedman – L

I ducked briefly into Au Bon Pain to check out les soupes du jour, and tout d’un coup I realized that le voix du Bing mort was croonant cette chanson maudite on the background-music service. Merde, merde, merde.

Kate Hagel – L

My stupid kids love the polka music.

Cate Husted – L

Stupid Anne Murray. Stupid garden gnome.

Adam Kelly – L

Now I must explain to my son that he is an orphan.

A.D. Puchalski – L

My co-workers were shocked I lasted four days. I cursed them out with the sort of happy fury you expect from the lone non-chef in a cake shop.

Maria Kelly – L

All I wanted was to feel a bit of holiday joy, so I turned on the Finnish holiday music station online.

Kjell King – L

The old lady sitting next to me had somehow figured out how to make TLDB her ringtone. I thought old people were supposed to be shitty with technology.

Ellen Adler – L

I kinda sounded like Nancy Kerrigan after Tonya Harding whacked her.

Rae Loney – L

I panicked and nearly punched the driver in the face.

Wade Lucas – L

The wife was playing with our dog, dressing him up like a shepard, and just started singing.

Megan Moore – W

The first year I’ve won!!! I’m so happy I could cry!!! I love this game. All my friends and family think I’m crazy, but this is such a fun thing for me every year! Thanks so much for all the work you do!

Gil Reavill – L

Never trust your shuffle.

Brian White – L

I went into the leasing office of my apartment complex for service, and he nailed me. Upon hearing his dreaded music, I yelled expletives a crusty, drunken longshoreman shouldn’t hear, let alone a six-year-old girl, who just happened to be present (the girl, not the longshoreman). This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

Brendizzle Slice – L

Yelling, “No!” like Vader when he found out he was Vader.

Esther Summer – L

Who would expect a kosher ice cream emporium to be playing Xmas songs? Yarmulkes and “The Little Drummer Boy” are a bad mix.

Holly Melton – L

You’re a bad man, Charlie Brown!

Anthony Vant Leven – W

Headphones and Weird Al kept me safe.

The Victorious and the Vanquished: The LDBC Wall

Name Result
(Not Mike), Mike L
A, Barbara W
A, Berto L
A, Regina L
Abel, Ali L
Abel, Dana L
Achauer, Allison W
Aczon, Evan W
Addison, Libby L
Adler, Ellyn L
Agins, Chuck L
Ahern, Sylvia W
Ajdukiewicz, Jeremy L
Albans, Dylan W
Alberti, Lawrence L
Albright, Kristen L
Albulario, Dave L
Allen, Mike L
Allmer, Christina L
Alphabet, Kat L
Alsdorf, Ducky W
Altom, Ashley L
Altreuter, Bill L
Ambyth, Michael L
Amlaw Swift, Lys L
Anastasia, Shandielle W
Anderson, Kevin L
Anderson, Sue W
Andrews, Lisa L
Andrews, Marcus W
Andrews, Shamela L
Angel, Lauryn L
Anthony, Kathy W
Antonelli, Lisa W
Aplin, Carol L
Appel, Kris L
Ardizzone, Marc L
Arellanes, Douglas L
Arick, Susan W
Ariz, Ermer L
Arkenberg, Rebecca L
Armbruster, Tom L
Arnold, Joni W
Aronoff, Janee L
Ashe, A W
Augé, Suzanne L
Austin, Karen L
Avery, Cam L
Ayer, Katy L
B, A L
B, Gloria L
Babineaux, Mera W
Bailie, Beth L
Baiyor, Patricia L
Baker, Beth L
Baker, Jamie W
Bales, Jim W
Banannie, Annie L
Barish, Mike L
Barker, Craig L
Barnett, James W
Barrie, Paul L
Barry, Sally L
Bassi, Laura L
Baszto, Sarah W
Bauer, Renée L
Beachy, Doug W
Beachy, Mike L
Beachy, Susan L
Beals, Andrew W
Beebe, Cindy L
Beebe, Gillian L
Beers, Marlaina L
Bell, Karen L
Bennett, Angela L
Bentley, Dawn L
Berg, Greg L
Bergquist, Rob W
Bernal, Victoria W
Berndt, Nicci L
Bernstein, Andrew L
Berrones, Lisa L
Berry, David L
Bersano, Robbie W
Bertsche, Katie W
Bianchi, Emma L
Biando, Becky W
Bichsel, Stefanie W
Bickelhauptb, John L
Biddlecomb, Susan W
Bingham, Craig L
Birkemeier, Alan W
Birkemeier, Glenn L
Birkhead, Andrew L
Blackburn, Barak W
Blackburn, Robin L
Blackmore, Kristen L
Blair, Natalie W
Blanchard, Joanne L
Bodie, Jen L
Boedecker, Joelle L
Bogan, Emma W
Bonnet, Gordon L
Booth, Brendon W
Borchardt, Jennifer L
Borck, Jeffrey W
Bot, Sooshe W
Bota, Savanna L
Boy, Jet L
Boyle, Keri L
Bracebridge, Tory L
Bradley, S L
Bradley, Terri L
Braine, Bill L
Bremer, Grant L
Brenner, Erin L
Brewer, Juleah L
Brian Ragan, Julie Galdieri (And) L
Britton, Kim L
Brock, George L
Broner, Jacqueline L
Brooks, Steve L
Brookshaw, Chip L
Brouwer, Tara W
Brown, Ben W
Brown, Jessica L
Brown, Mary Jo W
Brown, Michele L
Brown, Sian L
Brundage, Patrick L
Buchbinder, Brian L
Buchert, Georgia W
Buckley, Jeremy L
Bunn, Ted L
Buonacore, Sarah W
Burbank, Valentina L
Burch, Scooter L
Burchill, Hannah W
Burke-Smith, Kit L
Burlingham, Ann L
Burnand, Lisa W
Burnett, Robin L
Butkiewicz, Christine L
Butler, Neil L
Byrne, Brian L
Calhoun, Ivan L
Camas, Joanne L
Campbell, Carolynn L
Campbell, Deb L
Campbell, Kat L
Campbell, Roger W
Candow, Cheyenne W
Cara, Anam W
Carber, M W
Cardona, Mylynka L
Carey, Jeanette L
Carpenter, Thomas L
Carr, Brenda L
Carr, Kim L
Carrasco, Nona W
Carvalho, Lisa L
Castillo, Angel L
Caston, Casey L
Chamberlain, Alan L
Chandler, Trey L
Chaney, Stephanie L
Chavez, Ermando L
Chilson, Dawn L
Chipman, Chris W
Chirico, Alisa L
Christensen, Julie L
Christensen, Michael L
Christie, Ian L
Churchill-Danis, Jessica L
Cicero, Donna L
Cicero, Morgan L
Clark, Robin L
Clvenger, Carey W
Coe, Scott L
Coffey, Lea Ann L
Cohen, Jay W
Cohen, Joseph L
Cole, Aillene W
Collesano, Michael W
Colligan, Chrissy W
Colligan, Kevin W
Collins, Amy L
Connelly, Irene L
Connolly, Becki L
Connolly, Cyndi W
Conroy, Heidi L
Cooke, Stephen L
Cordero, Linda L
Cox, Anna L
Cradeur, Heather L
Craig, David L
Crane, Susan L
Crawford, Mindy W
Creamer, Duncan W
Crosby, Pam L
Crosby, Tyler L
Culp, Elizabeth L
Cummings, Dan L
Cummins, Kirsten L
Cunningham, Catherine L
Cureton, Melissa L
Curro, Christy L
Curtis, Tammy L
D’Angelo, Ella L
Daley, Matt L
Damewood, Amy W
Damigella, Rick L
Daniel, David W
Daniels, Rebecca L
Dark, Stephanie L
Dashnaw, Rob W
Davis, Jonathan W
Davis, Tina L
Dea, Joe L
Dean, Liz L
Deangelo, Keri L
Deangelo, Michael L
Decastro-Lobisser, Rena W
Dees, Jenny L
Delange, Lisa L
Denchy, Ruth L
Denehie, Elizabeth L
Denoncourt, Kellie L
Derrick, Carolynn W
Desimone, M L
Devereux, Season L
Devine, Roger W
Diamond, Joshua L
Dillon, Sara L
Ditullio, Amy L
Dixon, Anne L
Dixon, Joan L
Dixon, Stephen W
Dobbie, Catherine L
Dobbyn, Francesca L
Doberstein, Steve L
Dobrinski, Rebecca L
Donahue, Penny L
Dost, Andy W
Doty, Amy W
Dougherty, Jenn W
Douglas, Kim L
Dunn, Barbara L
Duthie, Holly W
Dworkin, Peter L
Dyer, Brandi W
Eades, Ellen L
Eastman-Kurtz, Molly W
Eckert-Chu, Cori W
Eckert, Elspeth W
Eddy, Carrilee L
Edelstein, Rob L
Edington, Jillian L
Ellis, Stephanie L
Elterman, Shane W
Epstein, Ava L
Erwin, Robin L
Espinosa, Andelee W
Essid, Joe L
Esterman, Sammi W
Etessam, Yas W
Everson, Bart L
F, R L
Fabiani, Angela L
Falk, Harris L
Fan, Esther L
Farrell, Thomas L
Farrington, Kelly W
Fayerman, Jessica L
Fears, Ashley L
Felion, Jennifer L
Ferrier, Sarah L
Finkelstein, Liz L
Finnegan, Sheila L
Fintschenko, Pete W
Fiore, Tony W
Fischer, Molly L
Fisher, Laura L
Fisher, Stella W
Fitter, Fawn L
Flanagan, Dolores W
Fletcher, Ben L
Fletcher, Kari L
Fletcher, Kristin L
Flickinger, Megan L
Flinn, Amanda L
Flinn, Wes L
Flynn, Colleen L
Foreman, Tiffany L
Forfia, Angela L
Forst, Christina L
Fox, Elizabeth L
Francis, Kerri W
Franck, Judith W
Frank, Libby L
Frank, Zilpha L
Franzman, Amanda L
Freeland, Heather L
Freeman, Katie L
Freeman, Pamela W
Friedman, Cheryl W
Friedman, Steve L
Fristensky, Kathryn L
Froemming, Kelly L
Frye, Darrell L
G-B, Lex L
G, Robert L
Gagnon, Joyce L
Gainer, Renee L
Gaither, Daigan W
Galbos, Robyn L
Galinson, Stephanie L
Galles, Jill L
Gallo, Charles W
Galvan, Amy W
Ganey, Sara L
Gannon, Peggy L
Ganz, Claudia L
Garcia, Chel W
Gardner, Rebecca W
Gates, Karen L
Gatlin, Cere L
Giangrande, Tina L
Gibbons, Honora L
Gingrich, Alex L
Gironella, Ninette L
Glaser, Maureen L
Glover, Linda L
Go, Steve W
Goetsch, Stephanie L
Goldstein, Laurie W
Gonzalez, Dj W
Goodall, Pete L
Goodwin, Kate L
Gordon, Josh W
Gordon, Roberta L
Gorman, Steve L
Goth, Silver L
Gotthelf, Jenna W
Grady, Robert L
Grant, Kim L
Graves, Jessica L
Gray, Scott L
Greco, Marissa L
Green, Megan L
Greene, Emily L
Grieve, Kelly L
Griffin, Karen L
Gripman, Jen L
Gripman, Stuart L
Grocholski, Suzanne L
Gualtieri, Jessika L
Guthrie, Caroline W
H, Anna L
H, B L
Hagel, Kate L
Hahn, Madeleine L
Hale, Jamie L
Hamilton, Reid L
Hanoka, Rachel L
Hanses, Ben L
Hanson, Colleen W
Hardy, Susan W
Hare, Sea W
Harkins, Barbara W
Harlin, Lafawne L
Harris, Rebecca W
Harrison, Shannon L
Hart, Kristi L
Hartford, Bev L
Harvey, Larisa W
Harvey, Sarah W
Hatala, Tara L
Hatch, Rollie W
Haught, Megan W
Hawkins, Eileen L
Hawley, Rob W
Hawley, Rob W
Hawn, Matthew W
Hayward, Cat L
Head, Blender W
Healy, Leona L
Hearn, Rachel W
Heck, Emily W
Heidel, Amy L
Helfen, Robert L
Heller, Amos L
Hendricks, Nettie W
Hendrickson, Kathy L
Henecke, Art L
Herne, Bree W
Herrington, Betsy L
Herron, Kelly L
Herron, Nancy L
Hewitt, Aimee L
Hight, Brian L
Hill, Christine L
Hilligoss, Amy L
Hogan, Jenna L
Holiday-O’Hara, Sybil W
Hollister, Andrew L
Holly, Miz L
Holmes, Leslie L
Hopkins, James L
Hornyak, Jeff W
Houlihan, Christopher W
Howard, Aaron W
Howell, Becca L
Humphreys, Mary L
Hunt, Melinda L
Hurford, Terry L
Husmann, Robyn L
Husted, Cate L
Husted, Rachel L
Hutchinson, J L
Hyland, Mary Pat L
Hytowitz, Rebecca L
Identifier, Unique L
Isaacs, Charles W
Isaacson, Peter L
Ives, Brian L
J, Amanda L
Jackson, Barbara L
Jackson, Ben L
Jackson, Rae L
Jacob, Lou L
Jacob, Renae L
Jacobson, Meredith W
Jaitin, Gail L
Jalbert, Alison L
James, Suz L
Janson, N L
Jaress, Jc W
Jarett, Jennifer W
Jarrahzadeh, Jacky L
Jenkins, Sarah L
Jess, Dave W
Johnson, Barbara L
Johnson, Brian W
Johnson, Peggy L
Jones, Erin L
Jones, Ray L
Joseph, Jeff L
Ju, Rena W
Juhala, Jeff W
Juhala, Laura L
Juhala, Sabine L
Juilfs, Deanne L
Julie, Tegan W
Juncker, Chandra W
Kakos, Kristen L
Kalinowski, Tricia L
Kamin, Mir W
Kamm, Lisa L
Kaplan, Billy L
Karish, Chuck W
Kashuba, Ken L
Kasler, Jo L
Kelley, Carl W
Kelly, Adam L
Kelly, Courtney L
Kelly, Jenny W
Kelly, Kevin L
Kelly, Maria L
Kenfield, Micsh L
Kennedy, Amanda L
Kennedy, Mattie W
Key, Sarah W
Kh, Molly L
Kief, Kristen L
Kief, Kristen L
Kilgore, Addie W
Killian, William L
Kincaid, Jaime W
King, Kjell L
Kirby, Jenn L
Kitterman, Jim L
Kittredge, John L
Klein, Ed L
Kohn, Tina L
Kohn, Vicky W
Kopperman, Leah W
Kostalek, Jennifer L
Kraiger, Michael L
Kranyak, Margaret L
Kunz, Nicole L
L Parker, Carrie L
Labaire, Jessica W
Lachnit, Carroll L
Lademann, Christine L
Lane, Keith L
Lang, Eleanor W
Lara, Erin L
Larrow, Gina W
Larsen, Laura L
Lawrence, Jamie W
Lea, Brady L
Leclair, Joe W
Lee, Amanda L
Lee, Anna Nicole W
Lefton, Sarah L
Leo, Jennifer L
Lerner, Mark W
Leslie, Diana L
Leslie, Krissi L
Leveridge, Brett W
Leveridge, Shelley L
Levine, Jonathan W
Lewis, Charles L
Liao, Jena L
Lieber, Val W
Lim, Jeena L
Linder, Gretchen W
Linger, Maria W
Lint, Rj L
Linville, Cindy W
Lipner, Mia L
Lisowski, Stefan W
Loechner, Kevin W
Loeffler, Carolyn L
Loney, Rae L
Long, David L
Losey, Michelle L
Loveland, Sheila L
Lovinggood, Adam L
Lucas, Wade L
Lundsten, Betsy L
Lutz, Ericka W
Lyle, Pam L
Lysne, Lisa L
M, Anita W
M, Jo L
M, Mike L
M., Carole L
Macdonald, Angus W
Macedo, Barbra L
Mackenzie, Doug W
Mackey, Jen L
Mackinnon, Bryn W
Macpherson, Kimberli L
Madesclaire, Marine L
Madison, Anne L
Madzin, Kathleen L
Maguire, Hattie L
Mahar, Julia L
Mailander, Melissa W
Maine, Shanoah L
Malcolm, Imogene W
Malmros, Mary W
Maloney, Sean L
Manson, Tycho L
Marracco, Muffy L
Marshall, Laura W
Martin, Noland L
Martin, Zac L
Maruca, Joseph L
Marykuca, Brent W
Masek, Shelli L
Massey, Misty L
Mayes, Donald W
Mcadoo, Jenn L
Mcalexander, Leslie L
Mccabe, Heather W
Mccartney, Tracey L
Mccormick, Meg L
Mccowan, Claudia L
Mccreery, Cee W
Mccullagh, Angie L
Mccutchen, Devin L
Mcdonald, Andrew W
Mcdonald, Stef L
Mcduff, Robin L
Mcduff, Russ W
Mcelroy, Jill L
Mcgarry, Kate W
Mcgarry, Mike L
Mcgillicuddy, Carole L
Mcginty, Joe L
Mcgough, Tina W
Mcgown, Shannon L
Mcgrath, Lauren L
Mcgregor, Heather L
Mcguire, Matt L
Mcintyre, Chris W
Mckeon, Kit L
Mcknight, Nikki L
Mcneely, Alvin L
Mcnutt, Carol W
Meacham, Ali L
Meckler, Amelia L
Medina, Jen L
Medina, Trish L
Meister, E. L
Melton, Holly L
Melzer, Kam W
Mendoza, Jeffrey L
Mewha, Darren L
Meyers, Lisa L
Micha, Alyssa L
Michals, Rebecca L
Miera, Tom W
Mignone, Bernadette L
Miles, Heatherly L
Miller, Don W
Miller, Ken L
Miller, Meg L
Mitchell, Daphne W
Mochari, Loren W
Moers, Christine L
Mokler, Linda L
Monaco, Michael L
Moon, Naila L
Moore, Matt L
Moore, Megan W
Morayati, Katherine W
Morigeau, Christopher L
Morrison, Cathy L
Morse, Tracy L
Mrowka, Gregg L
Mueller, Heidi L
Mueller, Stacy W
Mulhall, Suzanne L
Mullen, Kile L
Munn, Christy W
Murphy, Eric L
Murphy, Roy L
Murray, Mark L
Myers, Lex W
Myers, Stacey L
Nadeau, Robin L
Nahem, Ivan L
Nelson Melle, Vivian L
Nelson, Terri L
Nesser, Dennis L
Neufeld, Jonathan L
Newman, Stephanie L
Nisbett, Bob W
Noel, Morgan L
Nolan, Mike L
Nordstrom, Elizabeth W
Nordstrom, Ron W
Northend, Desiree L
Nugent, Sharon W
O’Cone, Trisha L
Ohlinger, Allison L
Olfers, Carey W
Olsavsky, Kevin L
Olson, Julie L
Olson, Nick L
Orr, Amy L
Ortiz-Kane, Angelique L
Osbor, Jacob L
Oswalt, Sandi L
Owens, Carrie L
Owens, Ed L
Oxner, Todd W
P, M L
Pack, Dan L
Padgett, Ray L
Pam, Qqtpie L
Papalia, Alexis L
Parker, Linda L
Parker, Nomi Joy L
Partridge, Jennifer W
Patchett, Kate L
Patterson, Colleen W
Paximadis, Lori L
Peck, Denise L
Peck, Larry L
Peck, Michael L
Pedersen, Susie L
Perry, Lisa L
Perry, Shawnee W
Peters, Toni-Maree L
Peterson, Ryan W
Petrillo, Sophia W
Phillips, Julie W
Pietsch, Janet L
Pinkerton, Kelkie L
Poling, Fred L
Pollock, Alicia W
Pontefract, Jennifer L
Porter, Brett W
Porter, Lyn L
Powell, Milena W
Prentice, Kim L
Printz, Irit L
Profound, Bozo L
Puchalski, A.D. L
Purvis, Shonda L
Quik, Jack W
R, Nancy L
Radding, Reuben L
Ragan, Greg W
Rainey, Jerome W
Rakkasah, Heather L
Rand, Rachel L
Randle, Nadine W
Rankin, Kevin L
Ratcliff, Alan L
Rea, Laura L
Reavill, Gil L
Reed, Tammey L
Reichman, Dana L
Reid, Mary L
Reiss, Randy L
Renae, Stevie L
Renzulli, Linda L
Reynolds, Amanda L
Reznek, Karen W
Rhoades, Michele L
Rice, Shelley L
Richards, Shawna W
Richter, Marc L
Ridenour, Gregory W
Rigney, Dan L
Roberts, Laurie L
Robichaux, Julie L
Rocco, Cathleen, A Queen Among Women W
Rogal, Dawn L
Rogers, Deanna L
Rollans, Scott L
Rondou, Kelly W
Rose, Alec L
Rose, Johanna Maria W
Rose, Mandy L
Rosen, Peg L
Rosenstock, Amy W
Rosenthal, Elizabeth L
Ross, Andrew W
Roth, Amy W
Rotundo, Rebecca L
Ruggiero, Megan W
Rullo, Nancy W
Russell, Kat L
Ruzich, Christian W
Ryer, Kelly L
S, H L
S, Lisa L
Sabbath, Mickey L
Sacchetti, Valerie L
Sacchi, Christine W
Sadofsky, Alyson L
Safford, Kevin L
Salvador, Phil W
Samson, Phil L
Samuelson, Jenny L
Samuelson, Michael W
Santa, Sally W
Sarno, Donna L
Scandura, Terri L
Scarlato, Tracy L
Schatz, Roy W
Scheer, Alttara W
Scheer, Isabelle L
Scheffler, Ryan W
Schissel, Beth W
Schmitt, Jennifer L
Schnitzer, Mark L
Schnur, Susan L
Schubauer, Heather L
Schutzer, Flori L
Schwarer, Sandy L
Schwinke, Theo W
Sciullo, Allison L
Scott, Chris W
Seamone, Jeannie L
Sears, Cathy L
Sebrell, Lynn L
Segall, Margaret L
Senner, Lissa L
Seta, Chris L
Shaw, Kirsten L
Shengold, Nina & Maya L
Sheridan, Clare L
Sherlock, James L
Shilaos, Chloe W
Shine, Amy W
Shivers, Samantha L
Short, Jeff W
Short, Jennifer L
Shorthill, Amber L
Sigman, Laura L
Silva, Melissa L
Siple, Eileen L
Sisk, Ashli L
Skinner, Claire W
Skud, Beth W
Slice, Brendizzle L
Smart, Emily L
Smart, Pamela W
Smith, Barb W
Smith, Chris L
Smith, Cindi W
Smith, Dawn L
Smith, Jackson L
Smith, Marcy L
Smith, Matthew L
Smith, Paul L
Smith, Tracy L
Smith, Tracy L
Smitheman, Matt W
Smitko, Paula L
Smy, Jamie L
Snell Nachtsheim, Joyce L
Solan, Hilary W
Solliday, Joanne L
Soper, Ken L
Sorenson, Greg L
Spagg Boggg, Oskar W
Sparks, Diane L
Spencer, Joy L
Spencer, Terra L
Sperry, Arthur W
Sprawls, Jr L
Stacy, Jamie Lynne L
Stark, Kathryn W
Starkowski, Sara W
Stevens, Andy L
Stewart, Jonathan L
Stewart, Mollie L
Stickley, Aileen L
Stiller-Anderson, Chantale L
Stine, Shannon W
Stone-Baltz, Sandra W
Stoneburner, Ann Marie L
Story, Jenny W
Strange, Jinx W
Sudilovsky, Alexis L
Sullivan, David L
Sullivan, Diane L
Sullivan, Jason L
Sullivan, Jim L
Sullivan, Peg L
Sullivan, Rebecca L
Summer, Esther L
Sundberg, Nick L
Sussman, Anne L
Svetlik, Julie W
Swartzell, Steven L
Swedberg, Heidi L
Sweeney, Ginia W
Swiecki, Hannah L
Swiecki, Maria W
Szobota, Nicholas L
T, Alex L
Talley, Jennifer W
Tate, Tim L
Tatrin, M W
Taylor, Hadley W
Taylor, Jack L
Taylor, Julianna L
Taylor, Price L
Teague, Amy L
Teeters, Carol L
Temple, Ruth W
Terry, Gaynelle W
Terzoli, Debbie Jo L
Tetreault, Brian L
Tevyaw, Christine W
Thomas, Cathy L
Thomas, Leila L
Thompson, Julie L
Timms, George W
Tingey, Janet W
Trobaugh, Phillip L
Tropea, Danielle L
Turiel, Josh L
Tyson, Edith W
U, Bruce L
Ulman, Brandon W
Underhill, Amanda W
Underwood, Madison L
V, Alejandra L
Van Noordennen, Pieter L
Vandenbroek, Angela W
Vandercar, Lisa L
Vanmatre, Jennifer L
Vant Leven, Anthony W
Velten, Lorri L
Verneuille, Janet L
Vernon, Joanna L
Vertino, Dave W
Visnov, Michael L
Vogel, Elise W
Volschenk, Donné L
Von Ahn, Lisa L
Von Esenwein, Silke L
Vonasch, Andy W
Voss, Michael L
W, J L
Wacknov, Stacey W
Wagner, Betsy L
Wagner, Essie L
Wahl, Ferris L
Wahl, Luke W
Walker, Erik L
Wallace, Meg L
Ward, Robin L
Ward, Terence L
Ware, Minda Grace L
Watts, Kelly W
Webb, Barbara L
Wegenka-Moretti, Melissa L
Weller, Chris W
Weller, Sherry W
Wellhausen, Rachel L
Wenk, Sarah W
Wertz, Christine L
Wessel Walker, Donna W
Wessel Walker, Mary L
Whitaker, Melissa W
White, Brian L
White, Libby L
Whitehead, Doug L
Whitney, Max L
Whitton, Audra W
Wiedemann, Heidi L
Wilber, Dave W
Wilcott, Lynn L
Wilcox, Janey L
Williams, Katie L
Williams, Michelle W
Willis, Danielle L
Wilson Hall, Bridget W
Wilson, Molly L
Winger, Melissa L
Wingfield, Amber L
Wingo, Bronwyn L
Winter, Stacy W
Winters, Ashley L
Wirth, Diane W
Wise, Newton W
Wojick, Jane W
Wolfe, Alex L
Wolfisch Cole, Terry L
Wood, Shane W
Woodruff, Katie L
Woods, Mary L
Wright, Diana W
Wuellner, Jane L
X, Joey L
Yarrow, Paul W
Yee, Ken L
Yoder, Patrick L
Young, Amanda L
Zevin, Richie L
Zezzo, Nicole L