This month, we’re kicking off a brand-spanking-new series here at LDBC Central, just to keep LDBCers’ spirits from flagging during the fearful Season of the Drum: The 12 Days of Christmas Songs Worse than LDB. For our inaugural post, here’s a Christmas tune that’s the aural equivalent of a Thomas Kinkade painting—Lorrie Morgan’s “Up on Santa Claus Mountain.” A mountain I never, ever want to scale, judging by the terrifying description of what goes on there. — Mrs. LDBC